My husbands uncle just passed. I need to write a letter to my husbands aunt and cousin. I meet them a couple years ago when they came to the states to visit for a couple weeks he was really a very good hearted man from what I have witnessed and heard. He left a everlasting impression on all of our families children as well. He was very funny and a joy to be around. Ofcourse losing a family member must be very difficult. Absolutly heart breaking. However I don't think it would be a proper thing to say to them. I also really don't believe that would be anything they would like to hear either. I'm not a very comforting person. I happen to be too blunt and when I'm confused or nervous I tend to ramble on. See take what you have read so far for an example. So does anyone have any suggestions or examples of how I should write the letter and what I should say. My husband is even worse off than I am. He lost his sister recently and still has not dealt with it. He asked me to write it for him.
2007-11-06 16:51:10 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I want to thank each and every one of you who took the time to answer this question for me. You all have helped me and I truely appreciate it.
2007-11-06 18:48:38 · update #1
I am very sorry for not choosing a best answer but I couldn't decide because all the answers were very helpful and considerate. I wish I could choose them all. Thank you all again.
2007-11-08 17:56:51 · update #2
In all s eriousness, a slightly edited version of what you havew written here would be perfect.
You could begin by saying how sorry you and [your husband's name] were to hear of the death of his uncle. Add that you recall the visit he made to the States some years ago, and how much you enjoyed meeting him. That you will never forget his kind and generous nature, and add anything else, such as , he was a great storyteller, we loved his anecdotes and often recall things he told us, etc.
Then just say you are thinking of the family and want to offer your most heartfelt symmpathies and good wishes.
Finish off by saying they are in your thoughts now and always.
That is nice, and also enough.
Just speak from the heart, and write enough to fill one side of a simple greeting card ~ your good wishes and thoughts will be appreciated, above any actual words you use.
Best wishes to your family in this time :-)
2007-11-06 18:34:18 · answer #1 · answered by thing55000 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I meet them a couple years ago when they came to the states to visit for a couple weeks he was really a very good hearted man from what I have witnessed and heard. He left a everlasting impression on all of our families children as well. He was very funny and a joy to be around. Ofcourse losing a family member must be very difficult. Absolutly heart breaking.
2007-11-06 16:56:57 · answer #2 · answered by apup76 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Write some of what you put in the question. "He was really a good-hearted man" "He left a everlasting Impression on all of our families" If my a family member died and someone wrote these things to me I would feel like that person had a really positive impact and the great thing about writing is, it isn't like seeing the person and screwing up the actual face to face interaction. Things that you genuinely feel are better than phoney baloney. Instead of saying it is heartbreaking you could say, Any time someone loses a family member it is difficult and your thoughts are with them.
I think most of what's in your question is a good starting point. I tell people when someone dies you never get over missing them, you just get used to them being gone.
If you really cannot think of anything , get a sympathy card or a thinking of you card, you have a lot of options.
2007-11-06 17:06:16 · answer #3 · answered by magpie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just write exactly what you just told us from (he was a good hearted man) to the part about (a joy to be around). It doesn't have to be a long letter, just a note in a sympathy card. I think that would be o.k. Now you don't think you are a very comforting person but I think what you just wrote was fine. I was able to find a book a few years back called "Write from the Heart" and it was a cheat sheet book for cards. It had catagories, Wedding, Death, Birthday, Love Letters and it gave at least three examples on each page for you to pick from. Change a name here and a phrase there and you were done. Check the card shops, they still might carry it!
2007-11-06 17:00:43 · answer #4 · answered by doglover 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"We are sorry for your loss." is always appropriate to say to the bereaved family. It is usually okay to express positive memories you sincerely had of the deceased with close relatives when speaking or writing to them. If you are uncomfortable, keep your commentary brief and never make assumptions about the deceased or about the feelings of the bereaved. Avoid rambling on in idle conversation. Be honest, be positive, be brief and be empathetic with grieving relatives before sharing your comments verbally or in writing. Put yourself in their place as much as possible, ask general questions when in doubt about a general fact related to the deceased so that if you must write, you do not give inaccurate information about the dead (such as burial location or religious affiliation if any). It is best to show your concern about the living, rather than to focus on the deceased.
2007-11-06 18:14:46 · answer #5 · answered by Jess4rsake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You pl start writing about the good natures and his or her good virtues and qualities and their contributions to the community , if not to the family if not to any particular person , you just remember and recapture that occasions to that member of that bereaved family and after writing about that come to the ground realities and impress upon them that how destiny drives aperson to the ultimate end. from which no one can escape. and the family has to cope with the void he or she has created with determination and strength so that the family will be sailing in the normal and smooth course of life. Also make them feel that your help in whatever possible spheres will be readily extended to them
2007-11-06 17:10:45 · answer #6 · answered by lion 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell them what you have told us! times like this are difficult for everyone involved, but from experience, you writing them about how good hearted he was, and how he has impacted your life and others around you, is a good thing. People like to remember the good. The beginning of your question is perfect, and its heartfelt, that is what matters most.
2007-11-06 17:03:17 · answer #7 · answered by charm1936 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would keep it short. At this time, no one wants to read something long and drawn out. Maybe remind them of a happy, funny memory. State that you are sorry for the loss, and offer to be of any assistance if needed around the clock. If you are religious, remind them that they will be in your prayers.
2007-11-06 17:39:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you sound like you have a very good grasp of this and if you can comfort or cheer them up some good . People usually say little a give food or flowers if not eulogizing I would simply offer sympathy or comforting words .
2007-11-06 18:42:03 · answer #9 · answered by dogpatch USA 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I work for a hospice and I have to deal with this day in and day out. there really is nothing you can say to a family member who has just lost the one they love. all you can say is that you are deeply sorry and assure them that he is in a better place, and they will get through this tough time. Tell them to think of all the wonderful memories they had with him and tell them he will always be with them. good luck and I am sorry for your loss
2007-11-06 16:58:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋