What about these people? Is there any hope?

Question

I feel very strongly about about a biased view that people have that certain things cannot change. Please hear me out on this. I may cause a little stir but I cannot stand hearing things like this.

EXAMPLE: A man is sexually abused and beaten as a young boy for many years by family members. Lives in poverty. He has to cook his own meals, do his own laundry, and basically care for himself. He is sexually abused by other family members as he gets older. His father is an alcoholic. He starts to think the only way to get attention is through sexual contact with others. So he grows up thinking that he must have sex with other boys. This continues into adulthood and he ends up molesting and abusing boys just as he was.

Many people are quick to say this person must be locked up and thrown away forever. I have a sensitive place in my heart for people such as this and want to provide help for them to rehabilitate their lives. What they did as an adult is wrong but I believe they can chan

rabble rouser

being gay and this is totally different. I'm bisexual and have no desire to molest children. Homosexuality and sexual abuse of children are not the same thing.

The therapy that is used for treatment, does this include any religious or faith based therapy? If not, could that be part of why it is not successful?

Chantal - thanks.

I Speak Truth - thanks

Thank you so much for your answer God is Love....this story in Matthew is a great example of what I'm talking about.

repent - I didn't say that no gays abuse children, just don't associate homosexuality with child abuse. There are many heterosexuals that abuse children sexually also. This isn't about adult sexual preference, it is about a condition and problem of emotional and psychological trauma to both adults and children. It isn't about heterosexuality vs. homosexuality.

rebel rouser-good question. I quess I made it that way because when I was a kid I was abused by a male so that was the first thing that came to my mind. In the media I hear mostly about men abusing boys more than anything else. I guess that is what sells. I know there is a lot more than that going on but that is just what I hear the most.

Answer 1

It is very, very rare for people like that to change. People who have been in that situation literlly know no other way to act and have a hard time adapting. I won't say that they absolutely cannot change, but it is very difficult and very rare.

Answer 2

Someone above was mistaken - known pedophiles almost always have a history of sexual abuse. Pedophilia is a deviant sexual imprint created by sexual trauma at an early age, and cannot be changed. Even certain medical procedures can imprint on a child as sexual trauma if they're too young to know what is happening and why.

Given the opportunity to offend, they always will - the compulsion is too strong, and they cannot be rehabilitated. The best thing for a person like that is to be kept away from children completely. It's a very sad situation, but allowing them access to children should be out of the question.

Answer 3

Yes the father should be put under the jail, but unfortunately the law is the law. As an adult you are responsible for your own actions. This is an endless chain. Parent abuses child, Child abuses his child, his child abuses his child and so on. There is no cure. You may have a sensitive place in your heart for these people, but they cannot rehabilitate their lives. For your sensitivity I would recommend you join a prison out reach program, but remember the first three letters of convict is con. You may never know when you are being conned, but you might help just one person and that my friend is a success.

Answer 4

I'm sure there are some of men as you describe who can be helped and change, but it would take SO much counseling, desire to change and hard work on their parts that I believe the percentage would be pretty darned low. And society just isn't going to pay for intense, psychiatrist help they'd need.

I had a male relative who was also sexually abused through out his childhood. As a young teen he became a prostitute (for guys) living on the streets, as a young adult he became alcoholic and by twenty-five he committed suicide. I doubt that story is unusual for victims of child sexual abuse. It's all very sad, isn't it.

The man above who suggested you join a prison out-reach program has a good idea for you. Put your compassion to work.

Answer 5

I admire your interest in assisting people like that, but the rate of recidivism with child molesters is much higher than other crimes. A lot of serial rapists and murderers also have sordid pasts, but that doesn't mean they should ever be allowed to go back into public. I personally equate child sexual abuse with murder, because the child's innocence has been murdered and will affect them the rest of their lives. Even if the perpetrator was abused himself, I don't want him in the public either way.

Answer 6

What does the God of life mean by the sins of our forefathers.
Do you have to do the same as what is done to you as a child? No! He is not looking for attention,he is looking for gratification. He has a spirit of deception. When a person has been done to so long and treated that way for so long.It becomes his or her normal. God is the only one that can change this behavior. Mark chapter 5. Legion was a mad man. He knew Jesus,and called him by name. But he was possessed by a demonic entity. Demonic sexual addictions comes from groups,such as generations or regions. practices for many years and embedded in the minds and hearts of these victims. He does not think he must have sex.he does have sex. It was forced on him and he must force the same on others. Sure the man in the scriptures was bound with chains and shackles.He tore himself and screamed. He lived in caves and was homeless. He was not allowed to live in the population,because of his condition. He is no different then pedophiles living in neighborhoods,monitored on computers,and told to let the state know when they come to live there or change their residence. Sure it is cruelty. But what is impossible for man is possible for God. We must also remember the innocent victims.Children never exposed to this in their homes yet these people have sexually abused them. Does Alcohol have anything to do with his father nature? It may have enhanced it! But what comes out of the heart goes to the mind and it goes out by the behavior or act.

Answer 7

Actually research does not bear out your conclusion, but shows that pedophiles almost never lose the urge to sexually abuse, and only a very few of them are capable, after years of therapy, to not act upon that impulse.

So even if they aren't locked up, we absolutely MUST protect children and keep them away from a sexual offender.

Answer 8

There is always hope.
Even when things seem impossible...

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding
in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. ...
-Proverbs 3:5-6

with God all things are possible.

Answer 9

I don't know that I'd say they can ALL "change". However, these people have serious mental issues that need to be addressed in a mental health penitentiary.

In that manner, I agree with you.

Answer 10

I'd feel sorry and pity for them, but even so, I think they should get help. Not being locked up and thrown away into non-existance. Thats cruel and inhumane.




Be thankful you exist!