Today was a friend of mines baby shower. I'm really happy for her. I got her a really nice gift. When we were in the room at work there were about 15 of us.This baby shower was at work. People at my job are extremely nosey and know everyones business or try to anyway. They know I'm not married and have not kids. I'm 36 yrs old. I was with a guy for 10 yrs and it didn't work out. I've been single for a couple of years now. Well anyway to the point of the story. Someone in the shower asked well who's next. A couple of peopl said this girl or that girl but these girls are married and much younger then me. Then someone said they thought it would be me because I sit in the same row as the other girl that is having the baby. Then another girl said well you better get started. Now is this wrong or am I just to sensitive. A couple of people even laughed. I mean first of all in my opinion you should never ask this question because what if someone can't have kids!
2007-11-06 13:56:37 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Then to top it off the girl having the baby who I thought is my friend. Said yeah I know why you're upset. She said but you weren't the only one mentioned other people were pointed out to being the next one. I said yeah but they're much younger and married. She didn't seem to understand why I was so upset about this. She was more worried that I was going to mention this to my supervisor. Because the one girl that said you better get started has said things like this before to me. Well my friend was like well maybe you should let it go until she says it again. Like she didn't want it mentioned today because it was her shower.
2007-11-06 13:59:34 · update #1
No I don't think it was out of line. That was rude what they did, and you're right, what someone there wasn't able to conceive.
Don't let it get to you though.
2007-11-06 14:01:50 · answer #1 · answered by 1080 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
When you consider the environment you were in, it was not rude but a tongue -in -cheek kind of remark. This was an occasion for people to celebrate your friend and be glad for her so the normal etiquette rules are somehow ignored.I suspect you are self- conscious about your age and the fact that you don't have any children versus the rest of the group who appear to be younger than you are.Questions like you were asked or the sort of comments made are exactly the type that you will expect at a baby shower. Even if you could not have children, it would only be insensitive and possible cruel if they knew about it prior.My advise is 1)don't attend future baby showers if these sort of questions make you uncomfortable. make an excuse for your absence and give a gift2) attend them but grin and bear those types of comments if they come up3) come up with a response like I am seriously thinking about it----that is , making a joke of the whole thing.Please believe me when I say that I don't want to make light of your sentiments or how you felt about the comments made.I just want you not to dwell too much on it or think that they were malicious in nature designed to hurt you.At worst, they were the exuberant utterances of people made on the spur of the moment.Unless and until you know that you can not have kids of your own, I would say to get ready for your own baby shower since 36 is not a barrier to getting pregnant. Best wishes.
2007-11-06 22:39:26 · answer #2 · answered by abbeycoolit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if you work in a conservative office with some well meaning but small minded colleagues. I agree that the remark was completely unnecessary and not funny.
However, you can't really blame the girl who had the shower for hoping you wouldn't complain. She doesn't want her shower at work to be the cause of any trouble, or cause for your supervisor to say that office celebrations are out.
You could just tell the girl who made the comment that you don't appreciate it. Let her know that, even though you know she was kidding, it doesn't do much for your ego. You could also start looking for another job, with more professional colleagues.
2007-11-06 22:13:03 · answer #3 · answered by lighght30 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you're too sensitive
I am 42 and no kids
and I do not care if anyone makes comments ( it happens all the time )
I just laugh it off and mention my free time that I have, my extra spending money, the freedom to travel.. etc.. and that usually makes them laugh a little and think about their decision
you mentioned 10 years, but you did not mention if that was a relationship or marriage
people who can't have kids adopt, and people know if a person can't have kids, you perfectly capable, you just for what ever reason choose not to have one or be in a relationship at the time
was it possible insensitive of them, maybe, but if they did it in jest ( which was most like the case ) then it falls back on your and your thin skin
2007-11-06 22:05:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you took it a bit too seriously. It was just some light-hearted humor--no harm intended. Don't sweat it at all. The fact that you're still single does not define who you are as a person. You know who you are. Don't even give it a thought.
P.S. Everything is for a reason. Life has its mysterious ways.
2007-11-06 22:05:37 · answer #5 · answered by Tiffany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah saying 'well you better get started' is KIND of rude, but depending on how it was said, could have still been friendly. A lot of people say things that they don't personally consider offensive that others might find offensive. Age is kind of a sensitive thing to joke about. Me personally, I would have been offended by that.
2007-11-06 22:01:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People say that to me all the time and I'm younger than you. I think you're being too sensitive. Having a baby is a joyous occasion and they just want you to have a part of that. If you don't want/can't have kids, or whatever, just say something like "no thanks" or whatever and move onto another topic!
2007-11-06 22:03:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're too sensitive. You responded like any other girl/women would've. And that is kind of rude..
but they probably didn't mean to offend you
2007-11-06 22:00:48 · answer #8 · answered by sk8tbrdswdtw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're not to sensitive...she was insensitive...i have the best advice for you...stay away from them socially and just be a professional worker around them...people are idiots
2007-11-06 22:07:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you should take it to heart hun . . . . maybe they think that your smart and gawjus and recon that your gonna be the lucky next. ..
it's gonna be fine . . .
girls are aloud to be sensative in there own way
2007-11-06 22:02:38 · answer #10 · answered by corrina t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋