I'm a 14 year old girl, and my mom died this past year...She had been fighting with cancer for a few years. I had been kind of the typical teenager, pretty rude at times, all "rebellious", moderately ungrateful...there were good times, too, and we were still pretty close...but there were big fights, rudeness, all the teenage stuff. That's all normal, but she died before I had the chance to stop being a teenager and tell her how much I really do love her and appreciate her...I'm scared that she died not thinking that I love her. I'm kind of scared that that's the reason she died, that it broke her will...if you were in this situation as a mother, would you know all along that your daughter does love you? would you know that she's just being a teenager, or would you be thinking that she doesn't love you when you die? please tell me the truth, I just want to know if I really did break my mother's heart or if she knew how much I would always love her. thanks
2007-11-06 13:50:41 · 17 answers · asked by Cricket 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
May not be a mom, but I am a dad who had a mom.
Chances are that your mom still remembered what it was like to be a teen.
I know I still do. Every time my 17yo talks back to me, or does something she knows she shouldn't.
Cancer is what caused your mom to pass, not you. Please don't ever think that. I believe that if your mom were to hear you say something like that it would hurt her.
You probably showed your mom that you loved in ways you didn't even know. A hug, a smile, even a tear at times.
So remember, she wasn't always a mom. She was once a teen too, and probably did some of the same things to your grandparents. Just as you kids will do to you.
I hope this eases your mind a little.
2007-11-06 14:12:23 · answer #1 · answered by Screamin' Eagle 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm the mother of a 19 year old, and agree completely with the other answers. Your mom knew you loved her. She might even have become frustrated with you at times, but she knew it was normal growing pains and the time would pass. I'm sure she would be very proud of you; and if she were here would wrap her arms around you and tell you it was all in the past and everything is okay.
Please don't beat up on yourself. You're completely normal. I'm so sorry for your lose. Nobody can replace a mother! But nobody can replace a daughter either. You must be a special young lady. Live so that your mother would be proud. That's the best way to honor her memory. God bless!
2007-11-06 22:02:14 · answer #2 · answered by Woods 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She absolutely knew how much you loved her and she loved you back just as much, I'm absolutely certain of that.
It is extremely difficult to go through what you have had to deal with at such a young age. Your mother knew that your emotions were largely stemming from this stressful situation. It is only natural to have outbursts when you are living with the terrible and constant fear that you may loose your mother. I guarantee you that she understood that, and never once doubted your love for her.
I am a 49 year old mother of two, one is 13. We argue daily, but I have never believed one word that he has said to me in anger, or doubted his love for me. The only time my heart is broken over him is when I see him suffering over issues that he is struggling with. Your mother's heart was broken, but it was because she had to leave you, not because she ever believed that you didn't love her.
Please do not stop being a teenager, that would have been her greatest fear. For your mother, her greatest wish would be for your grieving to be lessened and for you to be happy. Do not feel guilty about letting yourself be happy. I truly believe that life goes on and that she still sees what you are doing, so put these doubts behind you once and for all and let her see you living your life again.
2007-11-06 22:36:54 · answer #3 · answered by dudette610 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She knew, she had to know, considering what you wrote you have your heart in the right place, so your Mom knew.
Mothers know those things.
You will always love her and yes, you will feel guilty for a long time. No matter what kind of person you are and what kind of Parents you have, you would be sorry anyway.
Please, remember that while you keep your Mom in your memory she will be alive and watching you. Every time you will do something that she taught you to do she will know that you remember her and she will let you know about it.
Please, be assured that I speak to you from my experience.
I know that you did not break your Mom's heart and she knows that you love her deeply.
2007-11-06 22:00:57 · answer #4 · answered by cloud7 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Her mother knew that you loved her all mothers know that teenagers go though this stage in life but no matter what you did she knew you cared for her and loved her she is in heaven looking down on you with a smile Dont beat your self up about
2007-11-06 23:13:24 · answer #5 · answered by Lissa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a mother of 5 daughters myself...and as much as I'd love to be able to lie to you and tell you that your mother "knew" how much you loved her, I won't...
So, my answer is going to be pretty clear.... that it was very unfortunate that you chose not to honor your mother and show her your love and respect while she was with you. Believe me, she would have died FOR you, I'm sure....
Being a teenager doesn't give you an easy "excuse" to act hateful, irresponsible, unappreciative, etc.
You're very wrong to believe that ALL teenagers behave this way because I can show you many who don't and wouldn't especially if their mother were dying...
You should certainly go speak with your mother (at her grave or to her ashes...) and make ammends the best you can or you may live with a guilt that you created for yourself.
I'm sorry that you chose the behavior that you did as you seem to be now....
So, talk with your mother now.... Share with her your love for her and your life as you live it...
2007-11-06 22:24:59 · answer #6 · answered by Summer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sure that your mom knew that you loved her. Mom's know these things. We remember the sweet little baby we cradled when we watch our teens sleep. She was probably a rebellious teenager too once! Most of us were and so we know that it is just a thing that mothers and daughters have to go through. I am so sorry that you lost your mom at such a young age. Please trust me, you were not to blame for her health problems. I have been there - teen, mom, grandma.
2007-11-06 22:01:09 · answer #7 · answered by stampgrama 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First thing your mother loves you and she always will. She knew that you were just a typical teenager. You may of not told her alot that you loved her but she knew. You did not break your moms heart!
2007-11-06 21:55:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a mother of 5 grown up kids And I would have known you love me I am going to tell you something very important ;;Your mother is in heaven She is watching over you More than that she knows exactly all your regrets and how you feel right now Rest assure your mother will always love you
2007-11-06 22:05:27 · answer #9 · answered by lala 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound so much like my daughter. I'm so sorry for you.Words don't express it.I lost my mother at the age of 36 and I can't imagine at the age of 14. Your mother knows and did know you loved her.She knew part of the acting out was your coping with what was happening .She knew.
2007-11-06 22:05:51 · answer #10 · answered by Wow!guitar 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋