I have SOCIAL PHOBIA. I would love to hear the stories of other people going through the same ordeal Please?

Question

My problem is Chronic, and has had debilitating effects on my life. It started after the birth of my first child. I literally couldn't breathe for days on end, lost 10 kilos (I'm small in stature already, so I looked Skeletal)having 24 hr Panic Attacks and not knowing what was happening to me! The Dr prescribed Xanax, which I was on for 4 years. Coming off it was my own decision, and I'm proud to say I can breathe on my own! I was paralysed with Panic. I am powerless to control it. As most of you can appreciate, it is a recognised Medical condition needing appropriate treatment, just like any other Mental Illness. Many people don't realise that being shy is vastly different to Social Anxiety Disorder. I am on a SSRI, done Cognitive behavioural Therapy, and have been on an off Benzos. I developed secondary Depression, OCD and quickly developed severe Agoraphobia, and was eventually to afraid to go out to my own letter-box...I'm slowly getting better, & exposing myself to my fears.

Answer 1

you just have to tell yourself that u are important and your input to conversations and presence is wanted,,
i have been terribly shy since i can remember,i struggled to make freinds in school, and started smoking at 15 [stopped now] to try to fit in with work collegues, [left school early cos i didnt fit in]
my whole life i stood back while others talked and if i needed to speak, like at school meetings, or parties, or church, id choke up and feel like i was going to faint,,, but in just one day, it all changed!----
2 years ago [i was 30] i was telling my best freind for the first time how i felt and how i was and she couldnt beleive it cos i hid it real well with a smile all the time,
this freind is the most beautiful confident outgoing person i know,,, and she told me that she felt the same!,, but to me she hid it so well aswell,,,,,,
this proved to me that alot of people are going through the same thing, and she told me that i had no reason to b shy cos i was such a beautiful person and cool, and i should do what she does,, just put on a confident act and that it wouldnt take long for me to actually gain the confidence by tricking myself and beleiving that i was important and not to stand back any more,
and i swear to you,,, from that moment i changed
like now i run our parishes playgroup, i read and sing to the kids and mums, i walk around with my head held high and i dont think twice about what anyone is thinking, i just do what i want and i love it,and if im at a party i walk around and talk loud and muck around, if theres a group of mums at school i walk in there and start chatting cos for so long i had to listen to their crap,,,now its my turn ,,,,,
dont hold back,,, get out there, your wasting your life,
your special, important, loving, and EVERYONE wants you to fit in, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Answer 2

Sometimes it's hard for all of us to step out of our comfort zone, and take a risk, but sometimes we must. It's a leap of faith, God wants us to take. The enemy wants to keep us isolated so we cannot help anyone else. Fear is the opposite of love, so we cannot love as long as we are full of fear and self absorbed. I know this fear can paralyze you, I have felt it before, and I have ran also. It's a battle that will be fought probably for a lifetime.

Try and simplify it in your mind a bit, maybe you really dont want to go to that social event, and thats o.k. Accept yourself, if you feel better around small groups or family, than oh well, thats who you are. I read a story once about a woman who dealt with this all her life, then she found out she was meant to be alone alot, because she was a writer. Maybe were more afraid of who to be, not where we are. People didnt seem to have these problems as much when I was growing up in the 70s and 80s, I think it had something to do with having more freedom of speach, people are so polictally correct now, and sensitive.

I think woman get this after having a baby, and sometimes being isolated if they stay at home, men who dont keep a job will fall into this trap also.

Answer 3

I've had this nearly all my life. Mine is quite severe, and quite disabling. I find it virtually impossible to speak to people, and can't wait to get away from most social contact ( except with close family ) I've never had a relationship because of this, and I'm very much a lone wolf. It's a very difficult condition to treat, unless it's quite mild. The only thing that has ever helped me is medication, specifically drugs that inhibit the re-uptake of serotonin eg SSRIs and Venlafaxine, even then, they only take the edge off things.

Answer 4

let me see here, aside from schizophrenia, GAD,SAD, OCD, several types of depression (although i personally do not believe a chemical inbalance caused my depression, not as much as my life and God's "blessings"), i also have social issues. its fantastic. i havent left my house during the day for over 6 months, i actually hid inside a clothes rack like a ******* 3 year old to avoid oncoming shoppers in a mall, and i had to stop talking to the love of my life. I would always dodge out of sight if someone was gonna see us, and i imagine she assumed i was embarrased to be with her. i wish she understood that i wasnt, but i was ashamed of myself. what else...just last night i drove 25 miles to find an empty store so i could buy some milk. i simply do not have the nerve do force humans to witness the audacity of my existence

Answer 5

Ditto. Eh well I'm bored so I'll just share with you my life story the best I can, blah blah blah.
I haven't ALWAYS had social phobia. I used to be a chatty little gal, I'd do ANYTHING to make people comfortable and talk like my mouth was the motor of a speed boat. Back when I wasn't afraid of people.
Two years ago I was a bit full of myself, maybe. A little conceited, probably a bit annoying to be around. I really wanted a friend though, and since I put so much effort forth I finally made one who actually gave a crap. We're still best friends, and if it hadn't been for my forwardness we probably never would have been.
I don't know why I'm so unsocial now. I think I lost my confidence. My friend has some social issues, too, so maybe it rubbed off on me. But most of all she's always sort of outshone me and it sort of made me feel a bit worse about myself. Not that it's her fault...
Well, anyway, about two years ago I was put in school. With my chattiness, I eventually wound up with some friends in study hall, the 'popular' girls. I was so happy, I thought we would be great friends. But occasionally I would be made fun of, or they would make a joke at my expense and I would just feel horrible. I always felt a little clumsy, a little dumb, a little behind, when I was around those girls. But another part of me really liked being around them-- they were interesting, and fun to be around. Besides, anyone's better than no one.
Eventually they dumped me. I should have seen it coming.
The next thing happened next year, though my friend was going to my school too. During study hall I befriended a kindly girl, and we just had the funnest time chatting outside during study hall. Well, eventually the other girls found out how cool she was and she started spending less and less time with me until eventually we didn't even go outside together anymore. She became one of the 'popular' girls and basically forgot about me. I knew the other girls looked down on me, but they never put it verbally or gave me any reason for me to actually know that they hated me. It was torture. I ripped myself apart from them, and now the only time we ever cross paths is in Science when they giggle discreetly at my answers.
Around big groups of people I feel anxious, too much social pressure gives me panic attacks. I don't know why I'm this way, but I have a terrible, awful, crippling fear of school as well.
I am now officially afraid of people. They scare me. They honestly, truly, frighten me. I don't know why I'm so scared of them, but I do know that I'm working on building my confidence up again and someday I hope to be that annoying motor mouth girl once again, talking even when nobody's listen instead of that girl who is too afraid to approach people and say 'hi'.

Answer 6

I can so identify with you Gracie,

I have a problem with any kind of loud noise. I don't know what it is but it really freaks me out at times.

Blessing to everyone. I am tired and don't have the energy to write any more. Peace

Answer 7

My dear is that the same thing as being painfully shy ? If so I have struggled with that all my life ! It is the devils way of trying to keep us from fullfilling our destiny !

Answer 8

aww sweetheart.
well i have the opposite problem...
i talk too much..
& i have trouble making friends sometimes cuz i get too attached too quickly...
=]
everyone has their problems.
but you can over come this.