Like your husband has the right to go out since he earns the money, but not you? Or you can't go shopping to buy anything because you didn't "earn" the moneY?
2007-11-06 11:13:47 · 7 answers · asked by ♥bigmamma♥ 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
A man has no more rights in a relationship than the woman. It is a partnership. If he had to the bill for a cook, hiring a housekeeper, hire a nanny, hire someone for "intimacy". lire someone to do his laundry.. etc. The bill would be probably more than he makes. So, who is making the biggest contribution?
2007-11-06 11:28:53 · answer #1 · answered by the_chief 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
WOW...I sure feel the spark of disastor ahead when money is linked to major areas of controversy...
It would seem you have been #2 since you got together and changing your ways will mean changing his as well. That won't be easy for either of you, I assure you...
Yet, you are not a drudgery maid and are entitled to your own space as well as he is using his. If you ask him for more you won't get anything more than his domineering attitude that women are secondary, especially if being a stay-at-home woman...
I guess my question of you would be of asking how much pain you can tolerate emotionally. Don't you feel it is time you demanded your own space...at least a single day or evening for your own enjoyments...? Yes, even with some dollars to blow if your budget can tolerate it...
This is less a matter of marriage vows than it is of equality to be shared. You perform at home and he performs at his work...there is no seniority and no rank in file here... Together you both make a home possible and together you should have your own space as long as not overdone...
You have but one choice of two alternatives...talk to him peacefully and explain your needs while "telling" him you are creating some space for yourself or otherwise you may choose just to continue on as his drudgery maid and slowly lose your self esteem entirely...
This is your choice, not his... If the problem persists, you might want to find out where he is spending money also...
Good luck, but be very careful...
2007-11-06 19:50:17 · answer #2 · answered by farplaces 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I am sorry to say but the people above me.. just don't no..??? I have been there.. seen that... and DONE THAT... AND I WOULD NOT GO BACK FOR ANYTHING..!!!
U are there.. I have been there... but that was years gone by..
When I was young.. my sons dad.. was that way..~
and I moved on... u couldn't talk to him.. he wouldn't even listen.. as a matter of face he would yell and scream .. just to shut me up..! and imtimidate me .. he was going to leave me.
I married 7-8 years later.. he was very good to me.. and it is hard to explain.. I had a nice car.. home.. I didn't have to work.. stayed at home.. but he too... had the SAME ATTITUDE.. had to beg for $1.00 to get a soda..
these are EGOISTICAL MEN... and they all think they are right regardless..!!
they make all the major decisions..! it is like u are like a peon.. ?maid?, slave.?. or a wife of the 50's... !
they don't compromise.. ! and they don't CARE if u like it or not..!
they don't care about Ur feelings.. !!!
they just DO enough.. to keep u from leaving.. and doing his nasty laundry and taking care of the kido's....
U must face it.. it will be this way as long as u stay with him.. they do NOT change.. !!
I am sorry for Ur grieve, despair.. and helplessness... !!
U deserve respect.. and to be teated as a EQUAL.. and a lady.....
HE WILL MAKE PROMISES.. THAT WILL BE BROKEN.. !!and SAy and DO anything.. just to get u to stay.. then go back to doing it all over again.....
Good luck in your endeavor.. ..
2007-11-06 19:46:40 · answer #3 · answered by ♥ Blondie ♥ 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
My husband doesn't treat me like that at all. I've been a stay at home mom for 5 years now and never once has this discussion come up. In our marriage nothing is his or mine its ours. And we try very hard to go out together but he has his nights out and I have my days by myself. If you are in this situation please seek out help whether it be your mom or someone else.
2007-11-06 19:30:40 · answer #4 · answered by 1hotmama 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
actually you should have more right to the money,you know what you need to keep that house a home,keep the kids fed,your job is very hard i would never want that job,you dont get paid enough,you deserve a raise....
2007-11-06 19:18:44 · answer #5 · answered by phil 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Occasionally thoughts like that creep into my head, but my husband would be the first to tell me that is silly, and that I shouldn't feel that way.
2007-11-06 19:40:04 · answer #6 · answered by Thrice Blessed 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Honey, please listen very carefully. When a man and a woman get married there is NO LONGER "YOURS" and "MINE" IT IS "OURS"
It is his duty to make the money and support his family. It is not something he just chose to do, it is what he is to do!
It sounds like he does not love you. sorry
2007-11-06 19:22:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋