Im a Bridget Jones tired of being a Breadwinner.it depresses me so much I just cry in silence.?

Question

Even love and marriage proposals were offered to me in my early 20s, I never married.My focus was and still is on my parents whose business got bankrupt.I learned to grow up facing people whom they had financial obligations from because my parents couldnt pay them.Luckily I finished college ang got a job.My younger brother got married in his teens and is relying on us.Although my father has work, it wasnt enough to sustain family needs so i give all my monthly salary and i get money for daily allowance only.im feeling tired of working for them & they are asking more from me because the whole family needs it.it hurts that my debts are piling up.i have no future,no security.no one bothers to appreciate my efforts.my father told me he raised me so i could provide for them & pay for their debts.he said that's my role and responsibility.i cant bear to see them humiliated by others but im so angry at them.i wish i know how to think of myself & future before them without feeling guilty....

my bf wanted to settle down but i couldnt because i feel it's so unfair for him to marry me & my whole family...
but i just cant live my family because even if they have this perspective that it's my obligation to provide for my parents & support my brother who's got a family already, they are my family.it just hurts me so much that they dont care.they even demand more from me.that's why my bf wants me to marry him and live away from my family.but im afraid to see them not having a comfortable life...i know something is wrong with me.i feel so guilty because its my obligation to help and support them.my family was even telling me my bf is brainwashing me against them.my bf is not all perfect but atleast he cares about me to even think of pulling me away from family and get married, and live on our own.im confused, hurt, and i feel so alone. :(

Answer 1

Dont feel guilty...you have done more than a lot of people would do. You need to live your life for yourself rather than your parents. It is your time now. It is not your responsibility to clean up what they screwed up...It is THEIRS. You should not inherit all of their problems. If they dont even show you that they are appreciative of your efforts, i would split. It might be hard at first, but they are being totally unfair to you.

Answer 2

Your family is manipulating you, and it is so wrong. You have stood by your family and tried to help them, but they are now taking advantage of your goodness. STOP taking care of your brother and his family. If he is old enough to lay down and have babies, he is old enough to get a job and support them, they are not your responsibility. If its okay for you to work then his wife can also work to make ends meet. They can live with your parents, and your mother can babysit, your father can pay their bills, and you can start a life. Starting this week, you will pay your parents some rent money, and put the rest in a savings account in order for you to move out.
If that is not good enough than go get a sleeping room some where so you are on your own. Move out as soon as possible. You are being emotionally abused, and only you can stop it.

Answer 3

My pal, I understand why you so depressed, yet don't experience shame with the aid of fact that isn't any longer your fault. The previous has long previous and it particularly is time you look on your destiny. you may blame your mom and father that they do no longer discover a thank you to proceed your learn; in spite of the indisputable fact that, they did discover a thank you to stay and be mature. you're actually an grownup and no longer a newborn who consistently relies upon for the mummy and father. you additionally could make up your strategies now to paintings or to take a level. I surely have lots of acquaintances in my college SIM are around 24-27, there are no cut back for learn. one in all my pal she grew to become into born in 1975, she has a son it somewhat is 9 yrs previous already, yet she nonetheless learn ok and have the ability to take part in many social activities. all of us particularly get excitement from her. that is specific no longer something is only too previous due till you supply up. everybody is welcome and liked for their attempt. there is likewise yet differently of your existence to boot. you may pass to paintings with no degree. you realize that no longer each and every sucessful businessman has a level while they start up their careers. A certificates could make your existence much less confusing, in spite of the indisputable fact that it surely no longer each and every thing. do no longer permit or no longer that's the brick on your way and shadow your self assurance. and ultimately, think of of your toddler, you're a mom now and you realize a thank you to be a mom and father. They in no way prefer to break you yet they are in a position to't consistently do the spectacular issues. Tolerate, sympathise them and loose your self to boot. the way is under your feet, be a sturdy development who're courageous and beneficial sufficient to stand the stressful circumstances for the only which you love toddler. looking forward to listening to your sturdy information.

Answer 4

For your family to count on you and expect you to pay their way is dispicable. For you to assume that role, yet seethe and suffer in silence, and ruin your future is rediculous! When they are gone, who's going to look after you? They aren't leaving anything for your future, obviously. Your brother needs to get his butt, get a job, as well as his wife, and provide for themselves. Your dad needs to provide for he and your mom. You need to provide for you first. Tell them the gravy train ends now because your future is suffering. You need to take care of your debts, provide for your future and if anything is left you will try, I said try, to help them. Stick up for yourself or continue down the current path.

Answer 5

woao
you did more than enough. if you still leaving home move out and tell them you have your own bills to pay. for your father to think that you were born and raised to pay off their debts is beyond anything i can think. family = love = feeling safe not head ache , stress and emptiness.