I have been with my bf for 2 wonderful months. He's the one that I' looking for all of my life. He's respectful and sincere and Im comfortable around him. I'm in my late 20's and he's in his thirties. I'm middle-eastern and he's European. Im a virgin and he doesnt know that because he's from another culture and he expects me to have sex with him sometime but he told me that he's not in a rush and he would give me time until I feel comfortable. He thinks that if we can't have sex then we just be friends because he doesn't want to decide to live with someone for 30 years not knowing they are compatible in bed or not. Our relationship is serious and he is not a player. But the problem is I am afraid of telling him this fact as I might lose him. I dont want to be a bed-hopper and I want to have sex with one guy. I have saved myself for years and I just dont want to lose my viriginity easily. I want to be REALLY serious before I decide on something like that. Will I lose him if I tell him?
2007-11-06 07:45:00 · 22 answers · asked by Laila 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's being kind of a jerk about wanting to know if you're "compatible" in bed. That's something that can be learned, and it can even be fun "practicing" together. I do think you should be honest with him, and if he won't wait, then that's disrespectful, and you should be glad you won't get stuck with someone with like that.
2007-11-06 07:53:36 · answer #1 · answered by Medicgirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know that where you're from women don't have sex with a man until they're married. Most men smile at the sound of those words because it means that they'll be the first, last and everything else in between. If you really are a virgin then it shouldn't be a problem telling him because, it'll be something even you anticipate. If you're lying then that between you and God.
Now normally a woman at your age is comfortable in her womanhood to have sex even if they are a virgin. To me it's all in the mind, you are who you want to be. To conclude this answer: just tell him, he'll respect you.....but if you're thinking about kids then I suggest you stop holding back and go ahead and get married. That way you can have all the sex you want.....without the guilty conscience.
Good luck!
2007-11-06 08:08:22 · answer #2 · answered by 00silky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he loves you he won't leave you. Tell him love is a two way street. You saved your self for the day you will marry and you intend to keep it that way.Also tell him in today's society there is too much sexual diseases you don't want to catch and tell him right out marriage or no sex. If he leaves you then he did not love you and would have left you anyway after you had sex.Ask him if he thought of the problems that could come up if you got pregnant. And you think about what you would do with a child if he took off on you anyway. Stick to waiting to be married
2007-11-06 07:59:26 · answer #3 · answered by mamayer6 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
UM NO and if you do he is a loser. But from wut you have said about him he seems like a guy who expects honesty from his partner. So tell him how much you really care about staying a virgin and how you want your first time to be special He will prob be happy at the fact that you trust him enough to tell him and he will wait. He will know that you love him and if he loves you too he will give you more time. But if he does mind your morals than forget him because a guy is not worth loosing your morals over. I say tell him..why have anything to hide
2007-11-06 07:53:50 · answer #4 · answered by Sexylova49 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you really feel. If he doesn't respect that, then it just wasn't meant to be. Don't do something that you aren't comfortable with just to make somebody else happy. The person that is right for you should appreciate that you've saved yourself for so long and that you don't give in to pressure easily.
2007-11-06 07:51:37 · answer #5 · answered by vinny 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should've told him early on, when he expressed his views on sex and being willing to wait for you a while. That way the two of you could've dealt with the issue then instead of waiting longer...however you've only been dating 2 months so it's not like this is a long term deep love affair.
Be honest. If it's a dealbreaker for him that's his right to make it so...just as it's your right to save yourself for the man of your choice.
2007-11-06 07:50:16 · answer #6 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might. But it's clear that this is an important issue for you. Would you really want to be with someone that doesn't respect your views. There are great guys out there that share your views and you can find them. If this guy can't respect your wishes.....time to move on.
2007-11-06 07:50:25 · answer #7 · answered by jtbrick1208 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him and see. If you lose him, fine. He's worth loosing than you loosing your virginity. By the way, if he really cares for you, he would marry you first before sleeping with you. You shouldn't have to do this, you're not obligated cause he's not your husband!
2007-11-06 07:50:38 · answer #8 · answered by WonderGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you tell him and he walks then this guy is not the one you are suppose to be with. its hard for us guys to date virgins because you do everything else except have sex with us i don't understand that? anyway if he really loves you and cares so much about you then he will wait but he might stay with you and get sex somewhere else
2007-11-06 07:51:10 · answer #9 · answered by gasguy695 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to this guy, and don't give up your principals! Tell you that if he loves you that he will wait for marriage. If he insists, then he is just after bed time stuff.
2007-11-06 07:50:43 · answer #10 · answered by denise 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋