My coworker used to be a great worker until her personal issues started to get in the way. Now she takes off work often, leaving a big strain on the rest of the team, or when she is here she's surfing the internet or on the phone with her boyfriend. The bosses are going to have a talk with her (if she ever comes back to work) but I can't help looking down on her for her behavior. Am I wrong for being frustrated with her current performance? Also, is it wrong for me to look down on her for spreading her personal issues all over the office? And am I a bad person for speaking ill of her regarding the issues she is boasting all over the office?
2007-11-06 07:18:03 · 11 answers · asked by Paige A 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Your coworker is probably undergoing some emotional problems. She is not handling them well and her supervisors know it. That's why they will talk to her about it.
You have a right to your feelings. Her behavior and lack of productivity is affecting the rest of the office. Hopefully, after the "talk" she will respond appropriately.
If you still feel frustrated after her talk with the bosses, make an appointment with one of them and let them know how you feel. If you feel comfortable, ask them for suggestions on how to deal with it. Try to take a pro-active approach.
If this type of behavior continues, she may not be around for much longer. Perhaps the threat or even the idea that she may be fired will be incentive enough to straighten up and to start working on her personal problems outside of the office.
2007-11-06 07:31:13 · answer #1 · answered by Lizzie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not bad for being frustrated. When one person lets the team down it's hard on everyone, especially since the rest of us are expected to suck it up and keep going, and most of us DO.
You ARE "bad" (maybe misguided is a kinder word?) to "look down on her." Everyone's life has a different cycle and different crises. Try to get that part of it out of you so you can see what's happening for what it really is: she's overwhelmed and can't separate work from her personal life right now.
Anyone who speaks ill of others, especially when they don't (and can't possibly, unless you're in her house and her head) know everything, is a gossip and can be considered a troublemaker. Don't make it worse.
I appreciate you're in a bad spot (as are the rest of your co-workers)-- but if you keep spreading trouble, even your boss will be upset-- they have enough to cope with when this happens without you adding fuel to the fire by gossiping behind someone's back!
2007-11-06 07:39:33 · answer #2 · answered by LJG 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough situation and it depends on IF the bosses see what you are seeing...then it also depends on the personal issues that are affecting the office. For instance, if she has appointments medical, school, dental, etc..and the job allows for you to take time out for this, then there's nothing you really can do.
Now, if she's just slacking off on the job and not doing her share, then the team as a whole should go in and complain. When there's only one person complaining, sometimes management looks at it as if you are jealous of the co-worker being able to take off. You have to have proof of her neglecting her responsibilities.
Good luck
2007-11-06 07:32:34 · answer #3 · answered by lwheavenlyangel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You certainly are not wrong to feel frustration at her work ethic impacting the whole office and creating more work for everyone. It is usually up to management to handle these types of situations and can actually get u in hot water and cause problems with u and management as a trouble maker if it is brought up to them that u r bitching, lol.
I'm not saying u r, just that it can be perceived as such in the twisted world of an office.
I've been an office councilor and even in that position, it is touch and go. But, it sounds like documentation is being introduced by management and that is the first step of legally dealing w/ termination, or at least formal counciling, for the good of the company and employees.
Hope it works out for u
2007-11-06 07:32:12 · answer #4 · answered by paigespirate 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should definitely not speak ill of her to your coworkers. That makes you look unprofessional. As far as looking down on her, while it is a human thing to do, I think it's unwise. A wise man said, "Treat other people as if they were in serious trouble and you'll be right more than half the time." Chances are that you're unaware of the complete circumstances of her life that may be causing her to act the way she does.
Her job performance is not your concern unless you are her direct supervisor. Just keep your focus on your own work. It sounds like your bosses are going to take care of the problem. If her job performance in the future is a distraction to you, perhaps you can mention to your supervisor what's going on if you believe that your supervisor is unaware of the problem. You also always have the option to seek other employment.
2007-11-06 17:09:30 · answer #5 · answered by drshorty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not wrong of you to be frustrated because your coworker isn't pulling her weight and causing stress in your office.
Yes, it is wrong of you to look "down" upon her for her foolish behavior - it's wrong to look down on anyone - especially the foolish.
No, you aren't a bad person - but it's wrong to speak ill of anyone.
And it's very wrong of you to think it's your place to discipline her or anything else. That's what bosses are for. Let them do their job and speak with her.
In the meantime, you - tend to your own back yard and keep your mouth shut.
Remember - it is by far, far better to keep your mouth closed and have others think you are a fool - than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Or put it this way - you can't shovel sh!t without getting it on you.
2007-11-06 07:51:18 · answer #6 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ugh I feel terrible for you. Do not feel bad for being frustrated with her current performance or for letting her personal issues interfere with her work. She sounds completely unprofesional and immature. Try your best to remain professional and let the bosses deal with it. Do NOT gossip about her to your other coworkers, that makes you look just as unprofessional. Good luck and let nature take its course. If the situation isn't resolved by the bosses, then maybe you should look for a more professional atmosphere to work in.
2007-11-06 07:27:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, that situation is a PITA all the way around. However, what about if she was recovering from cancer, had a kid, lost a family member, etc? All of those situations would probably result in the same type of behaviour and all are persoanal issues that require more work from co-workers to cover the load while they deal with their issues. Managment should take care of it but rarely does.
My personal pet peeve is the family leave when women have kids. We can't replace them while they are gone for 2-5 months so we have to cover their work and our own while they are gone. Once they get back, they take off a lot of time to deal with kid issues and we still have to cover their work. Annoys me to no end!
2007-11-06 07:39:07 · answer #8 · answered by smf_hi 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It is normal for you to be frustrated with her, but at the same time it is not your place to correct her or even mention it to her. Also it is improper for you to discuss her with other employees, as gossiping is a vicious cycle. You should go to work and do YOUR job and tend to YOUR business. Let the boss take care of her.
2007-11-06 08:27:26 · answer #9 · answered by Jen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats a tough one.
let the bosses talk to her and see if things change. you are not wrong to be frustrated especially since you are left with extra work because of it.
Good luck.
2007-11-06 07:22:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋