They are like a tennis match hurling insults and ugly words. What's worse is they drag the children into their disfunctional games. I am not jealous, just fed up with the drama. I love him and have talked tro him about this numerous times. I don't know if I should leave and protect myself or stay and be by his side and support him through this hard time. Suggestions please.
2007-11-06 06:32:05 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you are questioning if you want out at all, then you must find this relationship lacking something. Get out now while you can.
2007-11-06 06:34:38 · answer #1 · answered by Angela C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say you should go. Why would you want to live with all that stress? Since they have children together, they will always be a part of each others' lives and a part of your life, which means a lifetime of drama and manipulation. This relationship with your boyfriend sounds like a depressing dead end, and I'd leave for good. You don't have to support him through this, you don't owe him anything, and the time you're wasting in this car crash could be better spent finding someone who is emotionally healthy and stable. You didn't mention it, but there's no way these children can be emotionally healthy with what's going on, and that too is way too much for you to bear, and it's not your job anyway.
2007-11-06 06:39:35 · answer #2 · answered by No Shortage 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi! The best thing that you could probably do for your boyfriend is show him what they are doing to the children involved. It's time for them to get over their past (which is
the trigger for their outbursts) and move on. When they
decide to be adults about it all -the happier everyone will be,
including you. I don't know how long you have been dealing with this, but you need to set your own standards on a
relationship you are trying to pursue-don't waste alot of time
if there aren't any changes, it will only make you bitter as well.
I know that you want to be supportive -but that includes showing him how it affects other loved ones in his life- he
needs to step up-not play into it- and tell the X that he will not
tolerate unacceptable behavior-walk away from it, they are
only feeding on each other. You'll know when you've had enough-but those poor kids are stuck with their bad behavior.
2007-11-06 06:52:54 · answer #3 · answered by Been there 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel. My ex-husband and I threw alot of ugly words around when we divorced also. We have a 5 year old daughter together. I was upset because he had moved on and it bothered me alot. One day, I just cried and called him and told him we have to do better because we have a child to raise. I am not saying we are best friends or anything but we get the job done. If you feel like your man is worth it, stick around. If it becomes too much, then tell him once he is done with his drama to look you up. You have to take care of you.
2007-11-06 06:44:14 · answer #4 · answered by vivian M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
from experience, I can tell you that going through that sort of thing is a very difficult time.. It always helps if you have someone on your side who supports you.. but in that kind of situation, it is often very hard to determine who is right or wrong.. fortunately I was able to finally resolve the ugly differences between my ex-wife and I.. if she is bent to using the children as weapons to keep him furious or vice versa.. then no one will win that war.. but If your boyfriend will listen then offer this suggestion.. he is allowing his ex to have command and control over his emotions.. for as long as he does that.. she will continue to torment him..if it is he that is trying to control her then he should stop and let everything be peacefull.. if it is she then.. he could best serve himself by just abiding by the terms of the divorce and limit his communcation with her.. if she violates the terms then he has court supervision that he can call upon.. the way it is, is a no win for anyone and that includes you.. possibly you should just lay it out on the table.. say I love you.. but I have had enough.. tell him to fix it or say goodbye..good luck
2007-11-06 06:44:07 · answer #5 · answered by J. W. H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
⇒ You need to seriously tell him that your to the point where your sick of it && you don't know whether to stay or avoid all the drama; Like you said in your question.
When you get into a relationship with someone, there are always going to be obstacles placed in front of you.
No, it's not fun. But work With each other, Not against.
Try your best to stick through it, in the end I'm sure everything will work out.
Good luck =)
2007-11-06 06:35:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you need to stay by his side because, he is going through a difficult time, or you may want to step back and look at giving him some time with his kids. Maybe, his ex-wife still has feelings for him, and wants to get back together with him. What do you think? Take some time to think about your situation. This does not seem fair to you because, he should be spending time with you instead of; arguing with her.
Make him a romantic dinner and talked to him so more about how this situation is making you feel uncomfortable.
2007-11-06 06:44:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
boyfriend exwife eachothers throats stay
2016-02-03 03:34:37 · answer #8 · answered by Charley 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may need to give them time to get some things resolved because it seems that there is a lot of resentment and you dont want to say anything that will trigger something off in him that will then in turn hurt you when you are only trying to help him. And he can't start another relationship when the last one wasn't left or resolved because then it will follow into your relationship and his problems with his ex are not yours to deal with.
2007-11-06 06:40:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could make a suggestion of supervised visits between the childrens parents, and see if that works. IF they choose not to, I suggest leave the drama behind and go your way.
If they choose the supervised visitations, wish them luck and don't go to the visits with him. Why live a miserable relationship if he keeps bringing the problem around him and to you? Maybe suggest moving?
2007-11-06 06:38:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
mature adults do not fight over their pasts when they are in a new relationship. Either he likes you or he likes her.....if he doesn't like her, there is no reason to argue or get caught up in heated exchanges with her. If she still has feelings, she might be instigating the fights out of jealousy, but he is allowing them to continue. All he has to do is ONLY talk about things involving the children. When the topic changes, he is to redirect it, calmly, back to the kids, or tell her goodbye. If he cannot do this, no, you shouldn't be with him any longer.
2007-11-06 06:37:25 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋