Should he have tried harder to call me last night?

Question

My hubby ALWAYS calls me on his breaks. 5pm 8 pm and 10 pm. WELL I was sooooooo worried alll last night because he did not call. I understand that he was busy and his phone crapped out on him but he knows that I'm a worry wart and I was soo sick to my stomache thinking the worst possible has happened. Should he have tried to find another phone to use to let me know he wouldn't be able to call me? They hardly ever answer their phone where he works because it is sooo loud and always very busy and I couldn't exactly drive there with my 15 month old asleep.
When he finally got home I was soo relieved but I broke down crying, I don't know why. I don't want to go through that again!

he said he felt really bad about not being able to call me, if he did though why wouldn't he have tried to find another phone!!? I'm still a little upset over having such horrible thoughts last night.

i don't make him call me!! he just calls me!

whoa, lots of different responses i didn't bother reading alot of the negative ones. i do not make him call me! he normally has the time to call me and he wants to call me, He likes talking to his son as well and our son likes to talk to him it puts a great big smile on his face! i'm not worried of him cheating on me not one bit! we have a healthy happy marriage and we wouldn't change it.

Answer 1

Remember"Most of my worst fears never happen."

Answer 2

Three times a night? You are seriously co-dependent. You became unhinged over a single evening of phone problems? You need counseling - perhaps both of you do. You should be able to handle your own world without his constant re-assurances. If this has only become critical to you since the pregnancy, I am very concerned that you are having post partum issues or image issued that are related to the pregnancy. It is that or you have maturity issues and need constant re-assurance that you are still the important one to him even though you both have a child now. I don;t know you - but whatever the reason, this is not normal behavior on your part and it is also abnormal for him to indulge this, actually. You both need some reality checking from a professional and you need this now in order to cope with the child. If I forced my husband to call every two-to-three hours, I would expect him to get tired of it. What must his co-workers say to your husband about this? Maybe you feel alone, so find some friends, join a club, start play-dates and meet other moms so you can have some adult talk time during his shift. Hang out with the spouses of some of his co-workers, they are also alone all evening and bored. Cut your man some slack and get some help.

Answer 3

You guys need a better plan. When he is at work his PRIMARY JOB is work. If he can call you great. and even once an evening should OK. But you need to give him some slack. I understand that if he consistently calls you why you would worry. But I would agree that he will call when he has a chance but if he does not call you will certainly understand that he is busy.

Are you afraid he is out with another lady? are you afraid he has been hurt? and you afraid he has run away? If any of those things happen SOMEONE will call you and so stop worry until that happens. And if you don't trust him you need to get a counselor.

Untie those apron strings. As another person said. If this was from a man about his wife, I would assume he is a controlling abusive person.

Answer 4

I've had this happen before with my boyfriend. I got locked out of the house and I could hear the phone ringing and ringing. This is when I had my **** job at a company I'll leave anonymous, but my hours consisted of 11 am - 11pm. It was at least 12:30 before I got back into the house so I can understand your nervousness, but I think you need to chill out a bit.

Don't worry so much, try to stay calm. If he doesn't call you right away before he gets home it doesn't mean he's been hurt, you would have had a hospital call you asap. Believe me, I've been through a ton of situations involving hospitals. I think maybe you're so concerned and upset because you have a new baby at home. It can be pretty scary thinking of raising a child on your own.

Take care, and good luck!

Answer 5

if he apologized, and its a rare occurrence. let it go. my husband knows i am a worry wart, but men do not think like us, and probability is it just didn't occur to him. he is at work and when at work his first priority should be his job. i understand being a worry wart, i am the queen of it. but dont make him feel guilty for an issue that is yours. the worry wart is your issue, and you really should try to find out why you have it.

If he does not have a dangerous job, fork lift driver or something like that, and he stays at work, you really have nothing to worry about. did you really need him to call you to say he couldnt call you.

I am telling you from experience, deal with your issues, because later on down the road it will cause problems in your marriage.

He apologized, and felt bad, let it go. pick your battles. and this was not a battle

Answer 6

No he should not have tried harder.

Time to grow up, lil girl. If he is old enough to marry you then he is old enough to take care of himself. Worry about your baby, the lil one, not the big one.

Think for a moment... what IF something had happened? Would your worrying have made any difference at all? Nope. Not one little tiny difference at all. All worry does is make you sick & most often for no reason. Your worrying is controlling your happiness.

Grow up. Be responsible for you & your child. Let hubby be an adult & stop treating him like a baby. Take some control of your life. Take some control over your happiness. I do not care how much you love the dude [which is def a good thing] if you make him your life then everything else in your life suffers including your child & yourself. Worry a little but do NOT let it control your happiness & life.

Answer 7

You sound very needy and this isnt good. His habit of calling you on every break is nice but extreme. You need to let go a little and give this man room to breathe. If anything had been wrong you would have been contacted by other people who work there.
You need to read a self help book on how to be more independent and not so clingy. Its not good for a marriage.

Answer 8

you need to stop worrying. hes at work, if he can call, he'll call. you should think of it as a privelege when hes able to call instead of worrying when he doesnt. give him some space, maybe he had some other things to take care of, you know hes at work so not much can happen. the only time i would start worrying is if he doesnt come home on time. then you can start being the worry wart you are. but just relax a little bit.

Answer 9

You need to either give your hubby some room or get some help! How can you go through life worrying so much? Are you really afraid something is going to happen to him or are you more afraid he might cheat? I can promise you one thing that if you do this for a very long time it will drive him to cheat. If my girlfriend or wife ever wanted me to call that much it would drive me insane and i would think she is a psycho. If he has no problem calling then it is whatever floats his boat but it doesn't sound healthy to me. Good luck!

Answer 10

I think he could have called from another phone, but men don't always think like that. I would say if he usually calls I wouldn't worry about it. When your at work things can get really busy at times.

Answer 11

He was at work. Most people don't call their spouse from work at every break. Does he have a really dangerous job where you are afraid he will be killed or injured at work? If so, then maybe he should have tried a little harder since he always calls you. But if not, you need to lighten up. He shouldn't have to call you to check in while he is at work. If a man expected his wife to call in like that, I would suspect him of being an abusive and controlling husband.