My current boyfriend is 24, I'm 21. We just started dating, he asked me out officially about a week ago. Back when I was 17 him and I were really good friends although I was very promiscuous as the time. His family knew me as "that promiscuous girl" who came over sometimes.
Yesterday he informed me he didn't want to tell his family about us yet and he would in due time. I understand why they'd be concerned, I wasn't a good girl back then but why won't he just tell them now? He's already talking about the future with me. Could he just be saying he doesn't want to tell his family because he's cheating or something? Why would he do this? My friends told me to not sleep with him until he is ready to make our relationship public and not keep me a "secret". I agree I think. What do you think about all this? help please!! :(
2007-11-06 06:20:58 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think if he's serious about your relationship like he says, he shouldn't be ashamed to tell his family or anyone for that matter that he's in a relationship with you. If they care about him, they will support his decision and let you guys build on the relationship you have. If they don't approve, don't let that interfere with your relationship. It's not about what they want, it's about what you guys want. Good luck!
2007-11-06 06:26:34 · answer #1 · answered by ♫Joshua's~♥~Girl♫ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It isn't going to get any better. I have found out that it is harder for a male to stand up to his parents than it is a female. I am going through a similar situation except there are kids and ex's and parents involved. Is it stupid yes but there is nothing that can be done other than walk away. You need to sit him down and talk to him and find out why he doesn't want to tell his parents just yet? Is there a certain reason? Can you talk about it and figure out why you are a secret? Being a secret or a hidden girlfriend is not any fun and will not get any better unless it is serious and talked about (without yelling). There will be feelings hurt (yours) if you do not talk about it and get it all out in the open. The longer it drags out the more anger and resentment will get built up. This will only cause an outburst most likely at the wrong time. And don't just go straight to his parents and tell them that is a very BAD idea. Best of luck to you and yours.
2007-11-06 06:31:22 · answer #2 · answered by bluefastblaster 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You know the answer to this already. You've stated it.
You were more promiscuous. THAT'S the impression his family HAS of you. He simply wants to find a way to showcase the fact that what you were, you no longer ARE, instead of just saying he's dating the girl with the bad rep. He'll catch a ration of crap about it.
Be patient. Think up ways he can showcase the "New" you to his family, that will place you in a Positive light.
Peace.
2007-11-06 06:27:47 · answer #3 · answered by Quietman40 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if he truly cares about you then he shouldn't be keeping your relationship a secret. So you messed up in the past; oh well. People make mistakes and people can change. it sounds like you have. You need to let him know that you don't want to be kept a secret and that in order for his family to be okay with your relationship they need to get to know you better and know that you have changed. It will be awkward, but it is worth it. Good luck and I wish you the best of luck!
2007-11-06 07:06:25 · answer #4 · answered by silentrefuge86 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be concerned that his family are still thinking back to the days when you were 17, but the sooner he tells them the sooner you can start to make plans with your futures cos you don't want to be living for months without his family knowing.. be confident with your partner and tell him you want to prove to his family you've changed and the sooner you can do that, the sooner you can start making plans for your future and move on. Trust is the key feature in a relationship.
Good luck :)
x
2007-11-06 06:32:22 · answer #5 · answered by Juzzy [[&]] Roxy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Youve only been dating a week, you dont even know if this will last. People your age often dont share who they are dating with their parents. Many times you dont even meet them until it has become serious. A week is not serious. And yes I advise you not to sleep with him also. Your old reputation will rear its ugly head if you do. Love takes time and you need to be patient. However if he wants to keep you a secret I would be offended. Its one thing to not meet the parents and another to just hide you. If hes embarrassed to be seen with you dont date him at all.
2007-11-06 06:26:35 · answer #6 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe his family has an ideal person in mind for him, and you don't fit the bill. Give him time. He knows his family better than you.
Don't use sex as a weapon. You should sleep with him you two are ready. Not because of what he has or hasn't told his family.
2007-11-06 06:27:22 · answer #7 · answered by winterpixie_13 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with your friends for the most part. Although, family is important, but its not like your going to be dating his family. I'm not very close to my now husbands family. I just think guys are more secretive and don't care about parents "approval" so much like girls do. good luck.
2007-11-06 06:26:01 · answer #8 · answered by Leigh08 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think he wants to ease his family into the idea that you aren't the girl you were when they knew you, plus that he is also dating you and serious about you. That is a lot adjust to, and if he wants it to be one where they'll accept you more easily then it will take a little time and finesse.
2007-11-06 06:28:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not that he is cheating on u but sometimes family could mess up the relationship and he probably wants to keep u so he doesnt want anything to ruin it, u should give him time but not tooo much time cause u will end up losing, make sure to talk to him about how u feal
2007-11-06 06:26:17 · answer #10 · answered by KeePs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋