Do men change after they realize your gone?

Question

Ok here it goes…I was seeing a guy who instantly I felt chemistry with. We were together almost everyday and text at least 50 times or more per day. Well, back in January I broke up with him because I caught him going threw my purse to look at my phone (he is very jealous) so I broke up with him there and then. I cried and fell into a depression (weight loss and crying spells) because of it, it left me devastated. Well after 5 months of being a hermit and not having the strength to meet anybody I went out and meet wonderful man. He has treated me to trips to Paris and Thailand and even got me a brand new BMW. He’s a dream, but there is a catch he doesn’t believe in marriage and gave up having kids (never been married and doesn’t have kids). So 9 months go by and my ex who broke my heart wants to give it another try. He said he wants to take things slow and see what happens. My question is do people really change? It’s almost been a year since the break up does he want something serious like marriage with me? I’m not sure if I should, when we were dating we did break up for one month and decided to give it a try so this would be our third attempt!!

Answer 1

People don't change! I'm speaking from experience here. Sure, I was in love once, I also went through the depression you described above. I even moved to another country, later moved back and then moved again to the other coast to get away from my ex. Once a while, when he feels like he is really loosing me, my ex would tell me that he still loves me (I know that) and wants to give it another try. But, he is still the same person and whatever the reason for our break up is still there.

As for your new man, he won't change either. Sometimes men provide materialistic things to us because they feel guilty. He won't marry you. If you want a family eventually, you are wasting your time. I know, all this sounds terrible. I've been through it all. Now I am afraid of having relationships. When I meet a guy who actually wants to be with me and give me everything I want, I run. Don't let this happen to you. Go find yourself someone worth your time and love him and be loved.

Answer 2

If you love him, give him another chance. I've seen it happen, where the couple breaks up and after a long period of time (in this instance, it was a year and a half!) they get back together. Both have matured (maybe he's not as jealous anymore?) and changed for the better, and they're able to communicate with each other more effectively.

Do not jump into the assumption that he wants to marry you. He wants to give it another chance. Meet with him for dinner, see if you still feel the chemistry or if he's changed. You can decide where to go from there.

Answer 3

Yes, men in general change after they realize that their problems are gone. Their typically happier because they are once again free. Single men are always envious of men that are in relationships but they don't realize how much work that you have to put into it just to get some action. Also, men know that if the woman was really in to them then he also have the chance for makeup sex. The woman will in many times give it up to the man just to have another chance to get back together. It's a win win for the man and the best of both worlds, meaning being completely single and having sex. That will change a man quickly.

Answer 4

Thats a hard one... The 2nd guy sounds WONDERFUL.. but there no future with someone who doesnt beleive in marriage.. is there no changing his mind??
You think he'd want you back if you ended it with him?
I'd tread VERY carefully with the ex-boyfriend.. jealously can turn REALLY bad... But decide what your heart wants... don't choice MR. No marriage because he's rich adn gives you stuff... but dont fall for Mr. i cant trust you.. jsut because he has a different story to tell... sounds like if you already broke up twice then you may not be for each other... look for door #3.. :) (aka someone besides these 2) Unless you know you have strong feelings for one of these 2 ..

Answer 5

I wonder also if people can change....well... have you noticed a change? have you asked him if he feels like a new or better person? That guy who bought you a car and took you places....thats all that is going to happen it that relationship, no kids, no marriage. So if that is what you want, if you think that will bring you happiness then stick with him. But if you see your ex in a new light or think he has changed, maybe talk to him about getting back into things, starting up the relationship again slowly. People can claim they have changed, but you have to witness it in action!!!!!! So all the things he did wrong, see if he screws up again in the same situation. Just talk to him. GOOD LUCK

Answer 6

Experience dictates my change. And I`ll tell you why. It took a good 20yrs plus for me to do a complete 360. And that was after dating several woman and almost getting married and having serious relationships. I don`t think, in my opinion, that this person whom you seem to want to be with has had enough time to REALLY change. Don`t let this person fool you. Deep-down men are nothing but worthless, belly-crawling, selfish,self-centered lying vermin fit for public extermination. He may appear to have changed, but this "new him" may not have took. Slowly you will see that he will go back to the way he was. Like I said, It took me many years to wise-up and really appreciate the woman I have. -S

Answer 7

People don't change. Just remember that the reason that people break up for the 2nd time in a relationship is usually the same reason as the first.

Answer 8

OMG...THIS happened to me...yes they do change...majority of men ever want to admit when they are wrong until after you get mad and end it...if he was jealous...sometimes thats a bad sign...he knew he was not giving you his all and was afraid that someone else would...well now someone else has.....dont leave the one you love to be with...for the one you like...because they will leave you for the one they truly love....I THINK...HE GOT HORNY AND DID NOT FEEL LIKE IMPRESSING A NEW GIRL...AND SO HE LOOKED IN HIS CONTACTS FOR AN OLD ONE...SO DONT DO IT....GIRL U GOT A BEEMA.....

Answer 9

You were right in breaking up with him. Jealous or not , he should never invade your privacy (going through your hand bag). shows he has no trust, which is the foundation of a good relationship. I don't see lines of communication open in this either. In my opinion if he had a jealousy problem then...he probably still does. If he loved you he wouldn't hurt you.

Answer 10

some men NEVER change, & for the ones who don't, there's no use even trying. some men put on a fake act when they realize what they had was gone, & they'll go back to doing the same things weeks later. believe me there's someone so much better out there for you, no matter how old you are, there's someone for everyone.