Muslims I'm kind of downhearted...this isn't the reaction I expected?

Question

Ok so I'm interested in Islam. My boyfriend is Muslim. So since we both agree on things, we decided to stop putting the label of 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend' on one another because it's haraam. But, he wants to introduce me to his parents so they can teach me more about the religion. The thing is, his siblings have brought other friends to the house in the past and told their parents that their friends {who were other girls} were interested in Islam so their parents wouldn't mind them being together, but really they weren't interested in Islam. His siblings basically ruined their parents trust when they found out that their children were only saying that so they could see their girlfriends, and ruined it for me, who is truly interested and want to learn more. I'm guessing his parents don't take me seriously because of the past......what should I do to show them I'm serious?

Please star so others can help! [I dont' have a very big contact network :(]

Just to let you know, I have been seeing him for three years, and I never once thought I would embrace Islam, so I know that it's not for him. I have done research on my own, and I am seeing and hearing things in my own religion that I do not understand, this is why I am interesting geniunely in Islam, because it answers my questions. Need I say more?

Thank you so much for those who truly answered my questions and gave me good advice. Inshallah I can open their eyes and keep myself on a straight path.....all while pleasing God. Thank you!

Answer 1

As salaamu 'alaikymn, my friend.

Insha'Allah, I thank you for your interest in Islam.

Insha'Allah, first be very honest with his parents and explain to them your interest in Islam.
You might also ask them questions regarding your current understanding of various aspects of the faith so as to respectfully solicit their opinion and knowledge. Of course, this implies that you will also listen attentively to their answers and not argue with them about the same (i.e., such as saying 'Well I know you said this but I read or I was told...")
If they will not assist you at first, then go to the masjid and find out if they have some informational classes about Islam, about learning Arabic (if you don't already know how to read it), studying the Holy Qur'an, etc. This might show them that you are truly interested. It might also lead to other contacts who can and will help you.
If his parents are very traditional, wear a hijab while at their house, especially if his mother does the same. This line of thought might also go as far as not wearing makeup or too revealing Western style clothes, etc.
One of the most important things you can do is to not give up trying!

My Allah, Subhanna wa Ta'ala guide you and bless you. You are in my prayers.

Ma'a salaam

Answer 2

Firstly, are you being completely honest when you say you are now interested in becoming a Muslim. ( I see nothing wrong with this, if deep down you ARE interested).

If your interest is only because your boy friend needs you to be, then it would never work out. Imagine 5 years ahead.
First you get married in a Muslim ceremony, you live with those particular rules and regulations, you bring up your children that way (once again I see nothing wrong with this if you feel you can become competely Muslim).

How old are you? If you are somewhere between 17 and 25, believe me or not, you possibly are doing this because you are in love, and that is not good enough.

If the answer is still yes--------Be yourself when meeting the parents, be who you are. Don't pretend to be something you are not, because you will not be able to keep this pretence up in the upcoming months and years.

If you are questioned about why you want to become Muslim, have answers ready. If you really are interested, you will have studied all about it, not from your boyfriend, but books and investigation on the net.

You don't have to know everything about the religion, because it sounds as if they would be interested in teaching you more. But you do have to know enough to, honestly let them know that you are serious.

This is a life changing decision, and if I were you I would not just look at your present situation, but you must look to the future and see that your life will change, drastically.

Peace and love,

Answer 3

Do some research on your own to get some basic understanding. As for the trust trust and respect are earned not given. You have to work at establishing a relationship his parents. Also you need to make sure that you fully understand how your boyfriend practices and what his true beliefs are. Islam can be a very complex religion as it is more than religion it is a culture and you do not want to wakeup in the middle of major culture shock!!

Answer 4

I am not Muslim, but one of my Muslim friends starred this question, just like you asked.
A lot of good Islamic sites have been posted in other answers. Reading them is a very good start, but even if you could memorise quotes from them, his parents may not be any more trusting.

To ask, "Can you teach me your religion?" is not the question of a seeker.
To ask more specific questions means you have seen something and want to deepen that understanding ...
eg, "Many Muslim families have closer relationships than western ones. You raised you son well in this society. How should young people be educated in Islam while living here?"

Good luck, and God/Allah bless you

Answer 5

There are other ways to learn about islam you know. It seems to me that you have learnt what you know so far by reading and making up your own mind about whats right or wrong regarding Islam. Who's to say you cant learn about Islam on your own and by asking people on here about Islam.

There are plenty of websites on the internet about Islam but not all are genuine. I suggest the best thing for you to do would be to join Islamic classes in your area and research using books from an islamic book store. Is there a mosque near to where you live, you can ask them for help and guidance and about islamic classes/courses in your area. Is there any other muslims in your area who you could ask to be your mentor?

With regard to the parents, I think if you go them having done some research, maybe show them some of the books and information you have learnt, it will be easier to convince them in teaching you about Islam.

And your always welcome to ask questions in this section and the ramadan section http://answers.yahoo.com/dir/;_ylt=Arz7d2qqluyDG.TAFidZnAHf7BR.;_ylv=3?link=list&sid=396546509 where most muslims tend to ask islamic related questions.

Its nice to see something positive said about Islam once in a while and I think any muslim would be more than happy to hellp you, all you got to do is ask us.

Good luck

Answer 6

Salam *peace* be upon all whom seek the truth...
Dear,
I appreciate your efforts and honesty in what you have asked and I've read many good answers for your question, what I want to remember is that in Islam when a christian or a Jew convert to Islam for Allah SWT sake his good deeds will be doubled and that make me so jealous by the way , but enshallah your big efforts in seeking the truth will be rewarded more than any other Muslim and you will be a good Muslim girl and wife in the near future... Amen
with my true prayers and best wishes for great happiness & peace in this life and in the other.

Answer 7

Simple answer is earn their interest, but the process is not simple.if u r serious about islam do ur own research and then where you have trouble understanding ask them.

Dress up in attire which is halal in Islam, start small like stop listening to Music and this is the site which can help you with some of your queries
http://www.worldmuslimmedia.com/readislam/zakir/

and best possible source is The Quran Pak and then hadith books, if you are serious they will take you seriously, though easier said than done!

May Allah show you the right path and guide you through it!

Answer 8

My dear....

really i'm downhearted for you...because this disappointment

but...forgive my obtrusion and extreme frankness..

but you know that -in Islam- any intimate relationship before marrigr isn't just a sin...it's great sin

so this family (i think) will not be able to show a good sample of Islam...and to teach you so much..

so please...don't be "downhearted".......

i made a search for about Islamic centers in Huoston and this is the result
http://www.islamicfinder.org/prayerDetail.php?country=usa&city=Houston&state=TX&email=&home=2007-11-6&&aversion=&athan=&lang=english

and this site is very useful for you

http://www.islamicfinder.org

and really you can rely on me.....i'll be glad to answer what ever you will ask.....on Yahoo answers...on my e-mail....or on messanger or skype......

i'll be proud to make you closer to Islam....and thanks God....i can help you because....i teach Isamic sciences in Muslim country......


note.....you haven't change you email options.....

i'm sure that Alla will guide you..trust Him...and ask Him...sincerity

and be sure that you have a friend here....he like to help whenever you need

Ahmad

Answer 9

Sister, i would really suggest that you find some other source of learning. It won't be that hard, and it'll take away the complications of learning from your BOYFRIEND'S parents. There are many people and things to learn from out there that you won't have to prove anything to, lol! Good luck, inshallah you will find that Islam is the true and right path =)

Answer 10

Well, my dear, learn about Islam, and think. Is this the religion you really believe and want to convert to? If you find that it is the truth, then convert first and then go and see his family. But if you think you cant take and do all the necessary obligations as a Muslim to be chaste and good in this world, quit alchoholic drinks, you cant eat pork, ectra, pray 5 times a day, fast, give charity. Then dont be a Muslim and forget about this Muslim man.