my son screams whenever he doesnt get anything he wants. HELP!!!?

Question

He is 15 months old and intelligent.

Answer 1

Kids this age yell and scream. He has a communication barrier. He knows what he wants but can not express himself. When my daughter did this I would point to what she wanted and name it. If she would not try to say the word I would try to do it again. If she proceeded with the tantrum, I would simply say, "when you are finished throwing a fit I will listen". I would then walk away. She soon quit because I would not acknowledge the fit. Good luck!

Answer 2

My son is 16 months and very similar -- we have temper tantrums daily, some days we have multiple ones. Here's how I handle them...

First off, I've found that he's got certain triggers. If he's hungry, tired or having an off day (teething badly, didn't sleep well the night before etc.) we're bound to have bad behavior episodes, so I try not to run errands or do things that are bound to bring on a tantrum. Shopping at 5pm is pretty pretty much guaranteed to bring on a tantrum, so unless I seriously need milk, I'm not heading to the grocery store until the following morning.

He also has two different types of tantrums -- the frustrated ones where he's trying to do something and just can't figure out how to do it or the plain "I want that" type. If it's the first type, I'll explain to him how to do it and that usually difuses the situation. If he wants something, and it's something I'm ok with (more bananas or read another story or to get his toy off the counter etc.) I'll ask him to use his words and tell me what he wants. Usually, he'll try to comply and I'll help him along, "Oh, do you want your car? Say Mama, I would like my car please" etc. Of couse, he just babbles at me but I can tell he's trying to tell me what's wrong and that, in and of itself, makes him feel like he's doing something to be part of the solution.

Then there's the "I want that" tantrums for things he can't have or I don't want him to have. If we're home I just let him scream and totally ignore him. However, most of them happen when we're out. If it is possible, I ignore him or try to distract him. If it's a bad one, you know the kind, where he's kicking and screaming and every person in the store is looking at me like I'm torturing my child, I pick him up and leave, immediately. I've yet to have to leave a cart of groceries behind but I'm fully prepared to do that some day.

Hopefully he'll grow out of it one day soon. Good luck to you!

Answer 3

Next time he screams, pull out some ice cream or some treat that you know he'll want. Start eating. Walk away and ignore him. When he realizes that you're not only ignoring him but eating his favorite treat without him, he'll want to know why. Tell him that when he screams, he doesn't deserve the treat. Resist giving in to him as he'll want the treat. When he's calmed down, put the treat away but don't give him any. Let him know that when he's a bad boy, he doesn't deserve a reward. Tell him when he's shown you that he can be a good boy for a long time, then he'll get some of the treat. Might seem cruel to tease him but he will soon learn that when he acts out, he gets nothing - not your attention and not any treats.

Answer 4

It obviously worked for your son before, or he would he be doing it so much? Does he go to day care or stay with family during the day? If so, alert them to the problem (don't blame them though) and tell them how to react when he screams for something he cannot have. Sometimes talking like a caveman can get attention. Your son is so overwhelmed with emotion that he can't deal with it all himself. When he starts screaming say, "(John) want this. (John) is angry" , then ignore him. If you teach him how to deal with frustration NOW, it will be easier for him to deal with anger later. I have to remind my daughter to "breathe". When she gets hysterical, I just say, "Breathe" a few times while modeling taking deep breaths and letting the air out forcefully. It gets through to her and she begins deep-breathing and forceful exhalations. When she is ready to tell me why she is mad, I explain why things can't be her way. If she screams again, I get her to breathe and tell her it isn't happening. If she continues screaming, she goes to her room until she can be around me without screaming. That usually works quickly. Just keep saying no. Your son has to learn he can't always have his way -- the younger the better.

Answer 5

Let him scream all he wants. If he throws himself on the floor let him stay on the floor and scream. Just walk away ignore the screaming (even though it's hard) just ignore it. Tell your son he doesn't deserve it because of his behavior. He will get the point that screaming doesn't work.

Answer 6

My daughter went through the same thing and what help me was ignoring her. I was still next to her and talked to her but I talked to her like she wasn't even crying and screaming. They do it for attention. If you give in once then they got you wrapped around their little cute fingers. My daughter no longer does that!

Answer 7

He's not intelligent he's a brat! Ignore him do not feed into his screaming little brat tantrums. He'll get over it!

Answer 8

ignore him
unless you're in public, then take him outside ASAP and discipline him however you prefer to handle it
I'd spank him, but some parents have different ideas about discipline.

Answer 9

you ignore the tantrum/ploy to get attention. pretend he isn't there (really hard, i know). soon, he will realize that it doesn't work and stop, he will.
good luck

Answer 10

punish him! i would prefer the corner.