My sister's ex-husband physically abused her and her kids. We helped her get separated and she eventually got a divorce. She then got engaged to another man but sadly she was involved in car accident in which she was left paralyzed from the waist down. Her stupid fiance left her shortly after that when she was still in recovery. She moved in with our family and of course wasn't able to work. We noticed one of the nurses that cared for her when she was hospitalized had become good friends with her and would check in on her a lot. Then she started taking her out and low and behold one day my sister announced she was in love with his lady and they were moving in together. Now it's been 6 months and my sister seems to be happy after a long time. This woman takes care of my niece and nephew like they are her own children. She's working two jobs now because my sister cannot work yet. She wants to put the kids in private school. We feel like she's going a little overboard for our approval.
2007-11-06 05:09:08 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
wife and I both feel homosexuality is a sin but we are not sure how to treat my sister. We are concerned for their kids as well even though they seem to be well cared for. I am happy for my sister's happiness but I don't know what to do.
2007-11-06 05:09:32 · update #1
Well, I don't agree that "....if you were a true Christian you'd disown your sister.. .. .. "
What I do agree with is that your sister needs you. She is still your sister who has been through a whole lot of trauma over the recent past.
{And by the way if you were TRUE CHRISTIANS, you wouldn't have supported her divorce either!!}
She is still who she was before the accident, before her divorce. Only now she is happy.
We tend to look at someone's sexuality as it it WERE THE PERSON, & it isn't. It is just a VERY SMALL PART of who she really is.
I don't really agree with homosexuality myself. But I have to say that I have met a few who were open about it & were genuinely happy! Then there are the closet gay's who are miserable, sad and have a high suicide rate. Be there for your sister. Ask her NOT to discuss with you her partner. Tell her how uncomfortable it makes you, and maybe it will be the start of getting over it.
In the mean time, talk to someone with an open mind on the subject. Voice your concerns for her there, don't take them to her! She will just start to shut you out, and then you will be left with your opinions, and no sister!
You sound like a person who is really struggling with your love vs. your beliefs. I'll bet that if you talked to just about anyone, they would tall you the same. That you should put your belief's (NOT YOUR FEELINGS!) on the back burner for the time being, get your feelings out with someone else, NO HER! When she is strong enough, you will know! THEN you can talk to her about how you feel, and what it means to you.
Who knows, by then you may even know how you feel, and what her relationship means to you!!
Good Luck.
I hope your sister recovers quickly, and you & your wife are able to see through her pain & grief to HER and not her sexuality!
HUGGZ!
Tonia
2007-11-06 05:37:28 · answer #1 · answered by Tonia M 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well I could tell you that from a scholarly point of view that homosexuality is not mentioned in the new testament as being a "sin" and I could also give you about 10 books and numeroous articles on the same subject...but you have your own views based on what you think is true at the bible and Christianity.
That being said - The God of the New Testament is a loving and kind God. Doesn't it say somewhere that you should not do the judging, rather leave it to God?
Your sister is family. Even if you don't agree with her choice of lifestyle, it does not mean that God and/or Jesus would not want you to disown her. The NT says that you must help the orphaned, widowed, single women, etc.
Religion aside, wouldn't you rather see your sister happy in her life? If she decided not to be with this woman out of familial unhappiness of her decision she would be miserable, and so would her children.
2007-11-06 05:49:59 · answer #2 · answered by SisterSue 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be supportive. Regardless of what you believe in you don't have to answer for your sister. She seems to have been looking for love in all the wrong places and now she finally found it but with the same gender. As long as she is happy and isn't being abused then you should be there for her. As far as the kids go if she has no problem with her lady friend putting them in private school then neither should you. Whatever you do just don't turn your back on her because that would hurt her more.
2007-11-06 05:24:58 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs Thang 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like this woman that your sister is involved with is the first person that has really been kind to her,she has been abused so bad by men in her life.I too feel homosexuality is wrong but we can not live other peoples lifes...If your sister is happy then i would suggest you let her be.I know that you do not approve,and thats ok ,but as a christian you must treat everyone with respect..Just because you disaprove of the situation does not mean you are to give up on your sister.I would just continue to love her and let her live her life as she is.. You can love someone without approving of their lifestyle.God knows that you do not approve but he also knows that you will always continue to love your sister..Just at natural and let it go,if she is happy just let her be happy,that does not mean you are approving ,your just letting it go..Just pray for her and her situation,and leave it in Gods hands...I know that God would not want you to abandon her....
2007-11-06 09:10:33 · answer #4 · answered by slickcut 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Treat your Sister like a person.
You've probably already informed them
that it is a Sin.
But they are people, over 21
and make their own choices.
Someone above wrote homosexuality
wasn't written as a sin in the
New Testament.
As a Christian we go by what the entire
Bible says.
Leviticus 18: 22 Do not practice homosexuality,
It is a detestable sin.
She hasn't filed for disability?
2007-11-06 06:04:42 · answer #5 · answered by elliebear 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if the children are well cared for then there should be no reason to be concerned. being raised by 2 same sex parents doent mean the children will have similar feelings when they get older. im assuming ur sister is aware of ur feelings towards her sexual preferances but if she feels judged by u then she may push u away. they may be going over board for ur approval because they are committed to each other. u feel its a sin but they dont. its the same thing as if she judged u for being straight. i know it doesnt agree with certain religious beliefs but she didnt choose to be gay. just continue to support her and help her becuase it seems like she has been through alot. good for u for sticking by her side when alot of christians would turn her away for her "sin". shes family and always will be. try to not look at her partner as another woman. look at her as someone who loves ur sister, loves ur niece and nephew and will help provide a safe, loving stable home for them. good luck
2007-11-06 05:30:21 · answer #6 · answered by jennybean7985 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to come to terms with your sister's lesbian relationship...just like you don't have to come to terms with a brother who is a murderer.... BUT what your siblings choose to do doesn't stop the fact that they are your siblings!!!!
A part of loving our siblings is accepting them for who they are and what they have done.
We ALL are sinners - even you. Sinners are not in the position to judge other sinners or the sins of other sinners. Don't judge lest yea be judged....
You don't have the "authority" to give "approval" to your sister's choice of mate. Your sister is an adult, not a child. Only children require approval.
So, stop judging your sister and stop judging her mate. The best thing you can do is be happy for your sister because she found someone who is loving her and caring for her. All ADULT love should be cherished and honored - not judged. There is too much hate in this world to also hate "love".
2007-11-06 05:54:20 · answer #7 · answered by Dina K 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has their own beliefs and each belief is wrong to another. As much as you may think homosexuality is a sin, I don't. See we both disagree. The world is full of differences and as a Chirstian, you should be able to understand that. God wants you to love others for who they are and love them as he would love. Your sister went through so much and finally found a place in her life that makes her feel alive again. Don't ruin this for her just because of your belief. Her belief is completely different from yours and love her for her difference and for this emotional battle she just won. The only thing you should be worried about is the happiness of your family member. Don't abandon her from your family just because of this difference. That's inhuman and not good parenting. It shows your children to act doubtful towards people different from them. God loves us all for who we are and he loves us for our mistakes and triumphs. If you want to follow in his footsteps like any Christian is set out to do, start by loving others for their differences and beliefs.
2007-11-06 07:23:05 · answer #8 · answered by dAyLiTe_DaNcEr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a Born Again Christian myself, and one who also agrees that Homosexuality is a sin I can understand your perdicament you are in.
The Bible says ....ye are in the world but not of the world... This means that there is sin all around us. but we dont have to accept it. Live with it aournd us yes, but not being accepting of it. I repeated that because that is whats important.
With that said, support your sister and love her, she is a part of your family. Support her as a family member as you have always done. Stay true and confident in your faith and just let her know, that eventhough you dont agree with how she is living her life, it doesnt mean that you are turning your back on her. Be the true Christian and LOVE HER!!!! Gods Love can do miracles!!!
Homosexuality is a sin, but its no greater than other things that we are sometimes acccepting of due to society.
Love her as your sister, but stand true to your God and allow him to work the miracles!!!
2007-11-06 05:45:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
This to me is an easy answer, support your sister. It sounds like she has had her share of 'bad luck' and there's no need on objecting for her chance of experiencing 'true' love, regardless if it isn't the type of love you and your family is appropriate.
Support her in every way and be happy that she has someone to share her life with.......
2007-11-06 05:29:03 · answer #10 · answered by Blue-eyed Stranger 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋