Ex- Boyfriend died and im going crazy?????????

Question

A guy that i used to date and also lived with for almost 2 years drowned nov-1-2007 in Miami where i lefted him at ...I talked to him halloween night and he sounded happy and wanted to see me soon but then the next day he died... He was only 22 and im 23 and im in shock ...I lefted him almost 3 weeks ago and ill never forget the look on his face ... I feel as if ill never be the same again ... One min im fine the next min im hysterical ... I loved him so much and im still very much in love with him... What can i do to mend the pain ...? It doesnt seem real when i know it is ... Im having to go thru all his stuff to give to his mom and me ... This has been the hardest yet in my life... Please help me what can i do ??????????????

Answer 1

sounds like you probably feel guilty
people die. It's part of life. It sucks, but it is what it is. There's nothing that can help you but time.
Time will heal you.

Answer 2

Olivia,

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

All I can tell you is that losing someone you love is not the end of your life, even though it may seem like it now.

I can identify with you, as I lost a husband when he was 27 and I was 26. It was the worst thing that I ever experienced.

Now, 30 years later, I still think of him, but time has healed most of the pain. I remarried 5 years after the death of my first husband, and while it's not the same, no love ever is. You will learn that we can love more than once in our lives, and we can move on and have productive, happy lives.

You can do this, even though it's so very hard now. And no, you'll never be the same, but you can heal, and there is comfort in family and friends. If you had a good relationship with his mother, you can help each other as well.

If you feel the need, don't hesitate to get grief counseling. We all deal with this kind of a loss differently, and you must do all you can to have your grieving, yet not feel guilty over the breakup, etc.

We all have inner strength to draw from, and that's what you must do now. Reach inside yourself, and allow yourself to remember the good things. Try not to be alone too much right now..try not to brood too much. If you feel like talking to a friend about your feelings, do so. Some people keep things inside, others need to talk about things. You must do what you need to do to keep your mind in the middle, and go on with your life. He wouldn't want you to grieve until you make yourself sick. He would want you to smile when you remember him, and he'd want you to know, you will meet again some day in a place much better than this.

Peace and Strength to you...may you find each of these blessings every day of your life.

God Bless....

Answer 3

This is going to sound bad but I've had a lot of experience with this kind of thing. Firstly, if he was happy when you saw him hold onto that, the end of the relationship was recent, may have been temporary but things happen that can't be helped or changed, maybe you were supposed to leave so that when his time was up it would be easier for you. Do you believe that things happen for a reason? The time you had together will always be a special time for you, don't think that anyone is to blame, especially you, remember the good things about him and give it time, it won't get better over night. Try to spend time with people who knew and loved him, remembering the good things, laughing about memories. Ask yourself this, would he like that you are miserable now? What would he say if he saw you like this? If friends offer little comfort there are many well trained grief counselors out there, you're doctor could recommend of refer you to someone. Don't feel silly or small, everyone goes through this stuff at some point, you are not alone or going crazy. You need time to accept this, to understand and to get used to the change. Let yourself say goodbye. I hope time makes it easier to live with for you, but don't forget him, just hold on to the good person he was and what he taught you about life.

Answer 4

I am sure u heard the expression time will heal, while it is true, u will never forget, and it will be a while before u stop feeling the physical pain from it all. It happened to me, I was out of school for about a month, I had to find extra curricular activities to do to keep from thinking of him, yet when i heard a song he liked, or passed by a place where we hung out, I cried. I felt like I was at a standstill, but everyone else around me wasnt. 2 1/2 yrs later i am w/ an amazing guy, while he doesnt replace the guy i lost he is has been amazing and has helped me through it all, and while the memory of my dead b/f still lives, and a place in my heart he will always hold, my current b/f is helping me move forward to great things and a life together we share

Answer 5

I'm so sorry. I had a friend the husband of the maid of honor in my wedding who committed suicide on the night before my wedding so my best friend wouldn't be able to be there for me. It's awful. The thing that helped me the most was remembering that there is nothing I could do for him now. He made his choice. I got married anyway despite the fact that I cried all night the night before my wedding and all of the wedding rehearsal pictures I'm all red faced and in tears. I chose to live for the important people in my life who are ALIVE. I resolved to keep my promises, never hurt the man I married, and to be a better person for everyone around me who is still here. It's going to take some time but find a friend who is willing to sit with you and cry because you need to grieve. You'll never forget this but it is in no way shape or form your fault. You're not even partially to blame. You're never going to be the same but you can be a better person. I know Spiderman 3 is a story but when you watch all of the intense things that they go through and it can give you hope because you can come through on the other side a better person. It's not going to be easy I'm so sorry. Give it time and don't do anything drastic in the heat of emotion because there are so many people in your life who love you who are alive and you'll want to protect them from the kind so pain and loss you're feeling.

Answer 6

Ignore "Davinci the *not* so great" hes just an a**. Death is never easy to deal with when its someone we love. It's even worse when the person is so young. I think that most the advice you have gotten on here is right..It takes time. You may never completly get over losing him but it will get easier to deal with it. Some people say crying doesnt help anything, I disagree with that...cry when ever you feel like it..it always helps me.
Go see or call your mom that is what us moms are there for. I have 4 kids of my own, but when something is so bad I cant deal with it my mom always makes me feel better.
For me prayer also is the answer for me..I'll pray for you and his family. Take Care.

Answer 7

What you're experiencing is grief. You have just begun the process. You will experience uncontrollable crying, fits of anger, bargaining with God, the why stage, and finally acceptance. These all happen at different times for all of us. Be patient, and remember, you loved him and he loved you. The pain will never go away, but it will get easier with time. You will never, never forget him or the love you shared. Time is the best thing right now. Don't rush to go through his things, wait until you are ready. You will always love him. Just in a different way now. He will be there to help you in your prayers. Listen to your heart and get help if you need it. God Bless.

Answer 8

First I would like to give you my condolensences for your loss. I know it is extremely hard having to lose someone that close to you. You should not be hard on yourself right now. No one is promised tomorrow. Your reasons for leaving him when he was alive had no impact on his death. As you stated, you talked to him the night before and he seemed happy! Keep those happy memories you two had with one another alive, and not dwell on the negatives. I appears that he understood you leaving him, because not only was he happy the last time you two spoke, but he also wanted to see you again. Believe that he is now in a better place, and that his spirit lives on. He is still with you. If it will ease your pain, express your feelings...he will hear you, or type a letter, seal it, and address it to him. Take the letter to his grave site, or keep it in your possession. Either way, he knows your heart now!

Answer 9

I am so sorry for your loss. Words cannot mend a broken heart and life. Time does heal. You will never forget him, and he is with you as long as he is in your heart. Don't be afraid to love his memory, just don't let it take over your life. Allow yourself time to mourn and don't let anyone take that away from you. He deserves that. But in the same paragraph don't let his death take away your life. He would not want that.

Make time for your friends both old and new. You are young and so you need to regroup and know that tomorrow will be better. DO NOT let your sorrow take over your future. Be assured there is a plan and even though we don't always understand we are where we are supposed to be.

Best of luck and remember the best is yet to come. One time when we were relocating and I was in Hi School, my Dad came to me and put his arms around me and said. ..I know you will miss your friends, but remember, you may not have yet met your very best friend.

And I wish you enough!, ...enough courage to get thru this, enouch love to sustane your memories, enough strengh to handle it, enough friends to help you ......just enough!

Answer 10

I'm so sorry for your loss and you do need to get some counseling. You must not feel guilty because he obviously still had good feelings for you and you for him. Think about happy times you shared and be thankful for them. He was so young and so are you. You will be happy again but it takes time to get over the loss of someone you have loved. You are still in shock and the pain is very fresh. Much luck to you and his family. Get some support and hang in there!

Answer 11

aww i cant imagine how you feel. it is so hard to talk to someone one day and the next they are gone. this is when we have to start putting our lives in oerspective. you never know when something like this will happen to you or someone else. we need to live life as if tomorrow wont come. try to just remember all the good times you shared i doubt you will ever get over him. and you shouldnt want to if he was the love of your life. you dont have to get over and forget him. but move on with life. one day there will be someone else in your life who you will care and love alot but you never have to forget a past love like this noone can replace him. so many women have went through the same thing and time heals. just always no matter what keep a place in your heart for him,and be there for his family you need eachother right now. and your love you have for him will keep you strong.