me and my boyfriend have only been together for 9 months and i am seven months pregnant with his son. though we have not been with each other for very long, i am in love with him and intend on marrying him. we just recently got our own place.... and his mother moved in. the closer and closer it got to her coming... the more and more i didn't like her or the situation. she is only 52 and doesn't work, have a car or licens, she is well over weight, lazy, and a terrible alcoholic. i hate her so much for being there and can't get past it. i don't want her to live with me. i am only 19 and pregnant... i didn't picture it this way. i thought that when i started a family it would be me, my spouse, and our child... well now that his mother is there i don't even know if it will work between me and him. i don't mean to pick, but i catch myself doing it and he is always getting mad at me. this is a big issue. im going crazy!!! What should i do?
2007-11-06 04:11:12 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This is more common than you think.
You need to get the fiance on the same page... FAST. Lay down the law... she can visit, but cannot move in.
The MIL is planning on mooching off of you two indefinitely, and thinks you are going to be waiting on her hand-and-foot. You cannot allow this.
You need to realize that you have a lot of power here... you are the mama in that household. Does he want his mother or his wife and child? If the MIL moves in, you will move out and he will still be on the hook for child support. Spell it out.
2007-11-06 04:27:09 · answer #1 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honey, company is kind of like fish, AFTER A FEW DAYS THEY START TO STINK!!!!! I would tell your mate that one of you has to go. I mean, this is your future on the line. No one should have to live with their mother-in -law or even their mother after they are out on there own. Now if she was sick and needed some short term help then absolutely, open your door and give her all the help she needs. But in this situation of her drinking, not cleaning, and no money to help with, she needs to go to the high rise or something. maybe she needs to go to the institution for alchoholics to get help. I would lay the ground rules to your mate and stick to your guns. It is not healthy on you or the baby to have to live in stress every day of your pregnancy. Is she going to hold the baby and drop it when she is drunk? Do you want your children growing up in this enviroment? Is your mate not thinking or what? he needs to be the one to stand up for his family and move the mother out on her own. She is not yours to raise! Her living with you all is not good on your relationship. This will make it come to an end. Are you sure he is not just being a spoiled mommys boy? I think you may need to consider moving out soon while your still able, before the new baby comes. Try to talk to him tonight, lay it out and stick to it. You do have the right! You are right in not wanting her there and it will cause your feelings to change. Best of luck with the situation and your delivery.
2007-11-06 12:39:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are really in a tough spot here. Have you spoken with your boyfriend about how you feel? Why exactly is she living with you anyways? If she is an alcoholic, you will have to see what the best situation for your child will be. You do not want your child to grow up in an unsafe environment, or an unhappy environment. If you are unable to change your situation, then you will have to communicate with his mother, and you will have to make the effort to make it a peaceful environment, for yourself and for your child.
2007-11-06 12:29:14 · answer #3 · answered by Milica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is exactly why, you are suppose to take your time in getting to know someone. You have now realized he believes in taking care of family, and some of his family members you are to fond of, to put it lightly. My suggestion is to talk to him about the situation, and see if there is a solution that can be compromised. But until you two decide to even take your relationship further, even though their is already a child involved; what happens between him and his family is honestly between him and his family. I wish you luck.
2007-11-06 12:34:55 · answer #4 · answered by ricepat2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uh, why is she moving in with you guys?
Should she not have her life situated already?
I can see if you guys needed to get on your feet and the in laws are willing to help. I wouldn't hate her, although I probably wouldn't have any respect for the lady, being a women and all...What does your boyfriend say about this?
2007-11-06 12:26:41 · answer #5 · answered by Unbreakable Me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to him, your bf, he shouldn't let her visit everyday, if she want to see her son, she could or should call him over or visit once a month,
& if your bf refuse to listen to you & take his mom's side then dump him & move-out
2007-11-06 12:21:21 · answer #6 · answered by maya 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋