Inoperable liver cancer from colon cancer?

Question

My father-in-law has been diagnosed with colon cancer and secondary liver cancer. He has just had surgery to remove the affected part of his colon, but the liver cancer is inoperable. He will undergo radiation and chemotherapy once he recovers from the surgery. The doctor has said, depending on how he responds to treatment, that he may have as little as 2 months or as long as 5 years to live.

My question is regarding my husband. He lost his mother to breast cancer 9 years ago and now he is going through it all over again with his father. I know he is hurting, but he's very unwilling to talk about it. He and his father are very close. On top of it all, he is now becoming pessimistic about his own health, knowing that both of his parents will have died young.

I am doing the best I can to imagine how he is feeling, but I know I can't really understand. Can anyone offer any advice on things I should say to him? I have tried optimism, but he doesn't want to hear it.

Answer 1

The best thing you can do for him right now, is just to be there when he wants to talk, if he needs a hug, or some encouragement. He probably already realizes he's going to lose his father and it's a bit much for him right now. Do what you can to help his father out in any way, ask him(or his Dad) what you can do, anything you can do, and it will go a long way with your husband. If he wants a little space right now, give him some, let him spend as much time with his father as he can...little things that will mean a lot once his father passes.

Answer 2

You should be supportive of him and ask if he needs anything. Men handle stuff different then women. As long as he knows you are there stop trying to get inside his head. He will come around and talk about it. As for it being in the family, today we have better health care than our parents had and early detection is the key. Possibly your father in-law did not get the check-up he should have and then it spread to his liver. Once the cancer is in the liver it is very hard to get rid of, since all blood flows through the liver then to all parts of the body. The doctor was right with the time it could take. Good luck.

Answer 3

I feel very badly for your husband, however he is very fortunate to have someone like you.
Remember, men handle grief and sadness much differently than women. Generally, men do not want to 'talk' through it, and bare their emotions. The best thing you can do, is to silently support him, and let him know you are there for anything.
You should encourage him to frequently see a doctor, and montior his diet. The breast cancer episode is not as genetic as the colon cancer. With this history, he will need to have a colonoscopy beginning in his 40's, and needs to maintain a high fiber, low red meat diet.

Answer 4

My mom had colon cancer with liver involvement. We opted for the chemo and have been happy we did. i think of there are new developements on a daily basis and if in basic terms a small possibility of assisting the area, i think of it extremely is well worth it. God Bless you and yours.