moving out...?

Question

i'm 20 yrd old and i still live w/ m dad. he's EXTREMELY old fashioned, so the question about moving out never really was an option until marriage. at 20, i still had to ask permission to be able to go out, and had to come back home early. couldn't sleep over @ a friend's house or anything like that.
for a long time i've thought about it but i never really did abything, but recently i stayed over @ a friend's house since she had a party and i wasn't able to drive, and he made this HUGE deal of it to the point were i CAN'T go out at night anymore. he's reasoning for it is since i'm in college my grades have been going from bad to worse and my GPA has gone down, so b/c i can't seem to get my priorities straight until i bring up my GPA to a certain lvl i won't have my going out rights...

i want things to cool off before i make ANY decisions, but i don't want to take the "easy" way out of my problems either...that's why i wanted to know ya'll's opinion. Thank you!

my grades aren't bad completely. i currentlt have a 3.0 but when i graduated high school i did w/ a 3.5 and since i went into college it didn't go up, but it has gone down. but it hasn't gone lower than 3.0 and i won't allow it to go lower. but he want for me to get a 3.6 before a can regain my trust and going out rights...

oh...i do have a job, but when it came to bills my dad has really let me pay for anything. my car & the insurance are under his name too and the bills that i pay are for my credit card and the laptop i bought for my self some time ago which i'sve almost paid off...

Answer 1

It may be tough for you now but honestly he is only looking out for your best interest. He just wants to see you do well in school and not waste your college years partying and drinking. I've seen so many people lose their scholarships because of too much partying and it's really not worth it. You have to show your dad that you can handle having fun and get good grades.. Don't move out yet because once you move out you may not be able to come back and it is really tough living on your own. Think about it!!

Answer 2

Unfortunately, there are a lot of parents who just can't let their children grow-up, make their own decisions and suffer any consequences. It isn't because your dad doesn't love you, it's because he does. He doesn't want you to make costly mistakes with your life, but heis blind to the fact that we all make mistakes no matter how careful we are.

Is there any way you could live on campus? That would give you more independence, but may also help your parents to gradually let go. It may also help you get your priorities straight and give you more ability to concentrate on your studies. I have always thought it was much better to be on campus than to commute. College is a great period in life where you can form lasting friendships, especially with people who are studying the same subject you are.

Moving out on your own can be challenging, but there are many people your age who bust their butts and make it work. Before you decide to move out, you'll want to be sure you can afford to be on your own. You'll have to pay: rent, utilities, phone, cable (optional), renters insurance, groceries, gas (if you have a car) or transportation (if you'll have to use public transport), and save some money for emergencies, too. You can get an idea of what places rent for by calling apartment complexes and such. Check your parents utility bills or ask the apartment manager for the approximate monthly utility bill total. Call your insurance company and get an idea of what renters insurance costs. You will definitely want this type of policy because the apartment policy only covers the owners building, not contents.

Get a really good grasp on just how much it costs to live on your own. You can always go to school part-time and work full-time. My sister did that for 3 years or so and now is going full-time and will graduate in May.

Hope this helps. The most important thing is to get your priorities straight and decide what you can and cannot live with.

Answer 3

A 3.0 is fine in college. High school is much easier, so a higher HS gpa is expected. Get a job and move out. Having your own place is pretty sweet. I'm 20 and live on my own 3.5 hours away from my father while I go to school. Maybe see if you can get a dorm. It's better than living with the folks. It's also generally cheaper than getting an apt. Student loans will cover it. Break free. It's your life, no one elses.

Answer 4

Your dad does not trust that you can take care of yourself... he sees you trying to party hearty and you are wasting money on an education you don't want to apply yourself to. If you don't have the common sense to prioritize and use moderation, I can see why he thinks you don't have the common sense to run your own life. Consequently, he is treating you like a child.

You are just throwing money away if you don't care enough to do the work to get good grades in college.
Your dad has a point there.
Maybe you need a break... perhaps take a semester off.

You are plenty old enough to get a job and live on your own. You may have to share an apartment. I think it would be a refreshing change of pace for you.

Answer 5

He's right in some ways. You should get your priorities straight and bring your GPA up. You have to understand that you are living under his roof and he makes the rules. If you do want to move out then go for it but do you have a job? Do you realize how expensive it is to live on your own? Maybe you should talk to you father and ask him to compromise with you. Tell him you won't go out on the days you have school but on the weekend or whenever your off is a free day as long as your studying in between. I would just start there.

Answer 6

I can understand that very clearly with you. Becasue i didn't move out the house with my mother when I was 22 years old. and I have moved other state with my best friend and we been roommate. Sometime it great sometime not. I didn't get my Driving License until I was 25 years old. You know I learn alot and When I ready to move out I told my mom.

You know what she said to me? She said one simple word "WHY?" I told her If you dead tomorrow or next few hrs how in the world will I learn to live on my own? How would i Learn to drive, Budget stuff like that? She looks at me and said you are right. and Finally I moved out and now I been out of the world for long time now married and have 3 kids and been married for 10 years. October 31st, 2007. Really can't really see the Future. Only thing is that you have to make the difference.

That how I did. If I didn't and wait until I was marry then moved out ... you know what wil happen to me? Be a momma boy. i don't want that to happen smiling.

I do know you can make thing easier and talk to your dad about this if he can't communicate with you then you know that there no way to solve it then moved out find friend wnat to be roommate and learn how to do it. I believe you can do it.

Answer 7

Sounds like it's time for you to grow up. You want your freedom, but aren't willing to do what it takes to get it. Legally, you are old enough to do what you want, but that also means supporting yourself. If your dad is supporting you, it's his way or the highway. If you really want to move out, go ahead. Just make sure you have a job, a place to live, insurance, etc. Otherwise you'll have to suck it up for a couple more years under dad's roof.

Answer 8

Well, if he is paying for your college and your food and your "home" you need to compromise... I think he might be a little to possessive, but I'm sure he just wants to make sure you get a good education and focus on that rather than on parties and stuff... Talk to him - try to compromise and proove to him that you are a / or can be a responsible adult...
You say your grades are bad - well its hard to say he is wrong when that is the case...

Answer 9

I moved out at twenty myself and I believe it was a good decision in the long run but I wish I was better prepared financially sooo make sure you get ready financially cause once you move its a whole new world. Try to come to a compromise with him cause when you get those real bills coming to your mailbox you might regret it. And get them grades up!!!

Answer 10

Well, unfortunately he's right and you're right. basically, you are an adult and should be able to have a lot more say in your life but also he is concerned for good reasons and you live in his home. but your and his relationship sounds like he should have been giving you a lot more choices and freedom a long time ago. he's not likely to change. you need to grow up a bit and make ur own way. start thinking like an adult and changing your life to where you don't depend on him for anything even support financially. then move out. also, don't let this make u rebel. get your priorities straight when u do get out on your own.