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okay, so met this amazing guy this weekend (actually is a friend of mine, but i never really hung out with him before) and we hit it off fantastically. whe his friends and i were hanging out, the one girl mentioned something to him about some girl that he got pregnant and everyone got quiet and the one guy said that was a bad topic. i guess it's true, but from what i gathered the girl is married to someone else now and i guess they have a daughter together. i'm only 20 and he's 25, so i dont know if i could handle a guy that has a kid. call me immature, but i just dont want to get involved with that drama, but on the other hand, he's such a nice guy and i shouldnt judge him on his past. i dont know what to do! i need advice ASAP

2007-11-06 01:16:07 · 12 answers · asked by Britt 3 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

sorry for my poor typing skills...i was on the phone while typing. :P

2007-11-06 01:21:07 · update #1

12 answers

You answered it yourself. You are mature enough to admit you dont want to be involved with a guy with a kid yet. Thats a plus that you can admit it. Just be friends with the guy, and if things go good, then you may just realize that having a child isn't a big deal. Alot of people marry folks with kids. They love them as their own. If you're not ready for a relationship then you're not ready. Why rush anyhow? You're 20. You're friends with the guy already, and so just see what happens. You don't even know (didn't say anyhow) that the guy wanted one with you. No need to rush into anything at this point.

2007-11-06 01:23:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3 0

Yes darl you should not judge him because you dont know the
WHOLE story! Can you trust the people got a girl pregnant>they know first hand that is the case?dont
surmise anything,you & him have hit it of ok,now him being a
friend and knowing each other YOU & YOU alone have to go
front him about this situation,talk about this and believe me it
can really bring the both of you closer,he has a responsablity
to his sibling and be there when he needs support
this is a challenge for you & him,so dont be scared as this is
called growing up and you will come across these situations
through out your life,So Darl be there for support and you can
handle what ever is thown at you! All the Best.

2007-11-06 10:35:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

my best friend has a little girl,now 2, and her boyfriend just loves her daughter. Sometimes they can be a good thing.

Another friend married a guy with a 3-4 year old son. Now they have a little girl together. The mother of the little boy isn't in the picture anymore, she dumped the kid onto him.


But people with kids shouldn't scare you away. Get to know him if you want a relationship with him. It'll happen if its ment to be.

2007-11-06 09:25:26 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Brown Eyed Girl ♥ 5 · 1 0

First off he doesn't want to talk about a child he gave life to, it doesn't matter who the mother is, just that he doesn't want to accept his child. That is not a nice guy. He can have all the charm, and grace, but when you denign your own flesh and blood, then you are out only for yourself. You are not willing to accept his child either, so this child is doomed to have a relationship with her biological father. I sure hope the step dad loves her, or she is going to be hurting for the rest of her life. Do yourself a favor, and just have fun and be friends with no involvement, unless you want a child without the father being around.

2007-11-06 09:38:15 · answer #4 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 1 0

Most likely the child wouldn't be around too often think everyother weekend or something like that. You don't even need to be introduced to the child until things get serious, so it's really a non-issue, unless you have a problem with him sharing his affection with his child. In that case don't bother.

2007-11-06 09:20:50 · answer #5 · answered by webjen26 3 · 2 0

I never say never, but I can't see under what circumstance I would be with a man who has a child. I'm not ready for that, if I was I would have already been knocked up myself. It's a lot of drama, a lot of baggage, I'd cut it off.

2007-11-06 09:21:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

well it will be alot more diffucult dating a guy that HAS had a child vs NOT having one
so if you think you are up for the challenge then go for it but there might and probably be a lot of drama

2007-11-06 09:23:59 · answer #7 · answered by The_Truth_Finder 3 · 1 0

Having a boyfriend with a kid doesn't have to be "dramatic". Children are a fact of life, so either accept it or move on.

If you don't have patience for a child, maybe it's best to move on, anyway.

2007-11-06 09:19:43 · answer #8 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1 0

if u want him u have to take the whole package that kid is part of him if u cant except him for him then theres nothing there for u

2007-11-06 09:27:46 · answer #9 · answered by Don't take life 4 granted 3 · 0 0

He has a kid? WHAT???

Gurl, you don't need no baby-mama/daddy drama. Get out now!

2007-11-06 09:20:16 · answer #10 · answered by Raquel 4 · 2 0

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