which part of me is right?

Question

every year my dad gets a real christmas tree. its our tradition.
this year my mom and dad split up. and my dad does not live with us any more. so for some reason my mom decided to get a fake christmas tree. at first i didn't want to because it was braking family tradition. but now that my mom has allready got one, i really like it because, it was soooo... much easier. i mean there was no pine needles to clean up, we didn't have to trim it, and we don't have to water it. is it wrong that we are braking family tradition? but then again i miss the smell of a real tree, the feeling that we have one and the fact that it was family tradition. which part of me is right? please tell me how you truly feel because i really miss my dad but nobody seems to take me seriously.

Answer 1

your feelings r quite true,but u cant hurt others only for ur feelings.sometimes u need to compromise also and this is what is life.
hope this is clear to u

Answer 2

Change is part of life. You'll probably always feel nostalgic for old family traditions but you can start new ones. Think about the real meaning of Christmas and develop some new traditions honoring ways in which you can celebrate life and love.

Christmas isn't all about trees and presents. I come from a very large family and, like you, my parents always had a real tree. I loved the smell and the tradition of decorating it every Christmas Eve. Christmas morning was always a chaos of wrapping paper and toys and gifts. That was our tradition.

My best Christmas turned out to be my first one in Florida. My entire family was back up North. I took my dog to a local park and enjoyed the decorations and the cool, sunny weather and everyone smiled and said hello. I met a woman there who makes it a tradition every Christmas to feed the homeless. That was my best Christmas. It meant more to me than any other before or since.

Do I miss the old traditions? Yes I do. But I've also come to realize that there's more to our holidays. Experiment with new traditions. Find something that's meaningful to you. Does your Dad still get a real tree? Can you visit him and take in the smell of the real tree? If not, take yourself to a place where they sell real trees and enjoy the smells and pick out one you would want to buy. Do the shopping for a tree thing without actually buying one. There are ways to hold onto old traditions while building new ones. Just use your imagination.

Answer 3

Due to your dad moving out, the whole family is in turmoil and everyone has conflicting feelings running rampant through their thoughts. Your mother may have always wanted an artificial tree or she may not want the work of a real one. OR she may be breaking tradition as a way to help her move on. There is no right or wrong here. If it's the fragrance of a tree you want, cut some pine branches to make a pretty decoration on a fireplace mantel or on a coffee table. Add some small ornaments, some candles, and a few red bows. It will be beautiful, not so hard to clean up, and the fragrance will fill the room. Be gentle with everyone in the family even if they don't seem to be thoughtful of you. Just getting through this first Christmas without your dad's presence will be difficult enough without adding stress by quarreling. Good luck to all of you. God bless.

Answer 4

both parts are right. It's alright to be upset about the changes, they are a reminder of the very real big change that happened when your parents split up. Your mom may be looking into doing different things because it may be painful for her to do some of the old traditions. Look at the changes that you are doing with your mom as a way to bond with her and to create new and happy memories for this phase of your life. If there is a tradition that you really liked, then tell your mom and ask her if you can do it this year.

When my parents split, my mom started a new tradition where each family member made 2 or 3 ornaments for the Christmas tree each year (it was an UGLY divorce--my father smashed all of the ornaments rather than split them up).

Answer 5

Well, tbh, my Dad threw away the tree we'd used every yr since I was born the yr Mum died & I don't know what I missed more. The tradition of the tree or the tradition of my Mum sitting next to it. I kinda got messed up & didn't even want to go to Dad's as normal.
But this could become a new tradition, getting the tree out of the loft, helping your Mum put it up & decorate it, a new tradition to go with your new homelife circumstnaces.

I'm truely sorry to hear about your parent's but it will get easier.

Answer 6

If it was a family tradition from your Dad, I think your mom did it just to show she is getting away from all things involving your Dad. She should however realize that even though they are not together, he is still your father and that you do have a right to spend time with him. Good Luck , this is a life changing experience for you and you'll need both your parents in life even if they are not together.

Answer 7

Because of your parents split, I'm sure the holidays will be hard. Try to focus on building new traditions with each of your parents. It is okay to miss the way it was and those memories will stick with you for life, but life is going to be different now in lots of ways, and it is good to embrace as much good from it as you can.

Answer 8

maybe mom wants to start her own tradition!and cant bare to have a real one cause it reminds her of being with ur father,yeah real christmas tree does smell good and yeah it is easier to have a fake one.right in both ways

Answer 9

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Answer 10

try create a balance and make the best of the two worlds.

most times life doesnt always go the way we want