been with my bf for almost 3 years. we don't live together yet. i have 3 girls part-time and i'm 28. he's 29, never married and no kids.
over the past few months i've had to borrow money from him b/c my car broke down and it cost about 200 to fix it. he loaned me the money to get it fixed. this past month, my check was short so i had trouble paying my rent and keeping gas in my car. i told my bf and he helped me again. the total i owe him now is 283.00.
tonite was stressful b/c right as we were getting ready to go to work, my ex called me telling me that he couldnt pay for our daughters' cheer classes so i had to pay it-this caused me to have no gas money. so i called my bf asking him if he could leave me his bank card so i could get gas. he called back frustrated saying to meet him at the gas station b/c he needed gas too but he was also going to drop movies off that were due. he met me at the station and filled my car up.
more below
2007-11-05 23:30:47 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i emailed him later to tell him thank you for helping me w/out hesitating or complaining about it.
several hours later i get an email from him telling me to email him all of my bills and what i make so he can help me w/my budget b/c the last second needing help frustrates him and causes us headaches. he said he was happy he was able to help me but said i should have known a few days ago that i was going to need gas money. i called him to tell him he was a little harsh about it and he said he wasn't trying to be mean, just wanted to get his point across. he said he feels like he shouldn't have to give me money every week and wants to help me.
am i wrong to be hurt by the way he responded or should he have been more gentle about it?!
2007-11-05 23:33:41 · update #1
He seems like he just wants to help... it's a little unfair if you think about it, look at it from his point of view. He has to give you impromptu funds when he could just be helping you manage your budget better... maybe you could ask him to teach you? I understand how you could be hurt, but I also see what he means when he said it was frustrating. He wasn't trying to sound harsh... just trying to help is all.
2007-11-05 23:38:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. Do not feel hurt. He is frustrated because he does not understand how you plan your finances. Yes, you knew you where going to need gas money, but the majority of mothers would do as you did. Give your child and then make a plan later to get money.
Accept his offer of helping you to create a reasonable budget. Be honest about your expenses and do not take it personally.
As the saying goes - give a man a fish and he'll have supper for a day. Teach a man how to fish and he will have supper every day. Instead of him giving you money (a fish), let him help you to learn how to manage your money and plan for emergencies. The hard part of it all is to learn how to say no to your kids when you really cannot afford something.
2007-11-06 07:46:04 · answer #2 · answered by Supergirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl you are wrong (beggers cant be choosers!) Obviously you have a budget problem that he is TRYING TO HELP! I wish there were more people like that! dont you?!
I mean, its pretty obvious that you leave with no budget whatsoever and go by a day to day basis check. Which really is not prudent nor wise with 3 girls, an ex and putting all of that to your new bf of 3 years.
Now, I will really listen to what this guy has to say, cause at the end he WANTS to take care of you!
Its ok to feel hurt from pride, but try to hide it and be more understanding about what he is trying to do....help!
2007-11-06 07:37:06 · answer #3 · answered by Omar C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well he is a man and bein on myself words can come out of our mouth with goin to the brain first so its not always the way we want it to come out so we go over board and its ok to be hurt u cant stop it and he prolly thought if it was said any other way it would not get his point across so thats just the way it came out.
2007-11-06 07:40:30 · answer #4 · answered by jon_clements2008 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
think about if it was you and some guy called you all the time needing money get a second job stop being SO needy
2007-11-06 07:38:40 · answer #5 · answered by Marvin H 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i don't know what the question is, but it's not a good idea to continually borrow money from your boyfriend. he's not a walking checkbook.
2007-11-06 07:34:50 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋