Question for Jehovah's Witnesses...?

Question

Hello my brothers and sisters in faith....
I came to know a sister over some years. She is what we'll call "Spiritually weak". She has a good heart and went through a lot in life. Her desire is to serve Jehovah whole heartedly.
Recently she started dateing a brother who was disfelloshipped twice. He too is a nice person but also spritually weak. They have a desire to get married and follow the faith strongly now. Both of them have been on an emotional rollercoaster and they are stuggling to regain their relationsionship with Jehovah.
I know with God all things are pssible, but is it possible for these two people to work together in building eachother spiritually? Is it possible that when they get married it would work?

I will appreciate answers that would help. No judging of religion please. I'm not the kind to judge other people religions. I need experienced brothers and sisters opinions. Thank you.

Answer 1

Well, first of all i think you should be commended for your concern for your fellow brother and sister and i can appreciate the awkward position you are in as a by stander.

secondly, i think its wonderful that another pair have found love in the congregation. I'm sure Jehovah is very happy and will help them in the future, through hardships and trials. Remember that God is merciful and if they need help he will give it to them. If they truely love him then i think you should relax as chances are they will make it through to the new system. If they are still 'spiriually weak' then i think with constant support and care from you and the rest of your congregation they will be built up and become very strong in the truth.

If you feel concerned go to one of the elders and ask them to help you support them. The elder will most likely help make it a congregation effort. Continue to spread christian love- perhaps arrange a social outing or ministry arrangement-to encourage them and by so doing you are preparing them for marriage life!

I think it is very possible for these two to have a successful marriage in the truth but your imput and encouragement could make it even better.

Hope this helps, very good question btw!

Answer 2

Conflict or anger itself does not have to cause an irreparable rift between partners. With good communication skills and a shared commitment to a marriage, even these are surmountable. How to save your marriage https://tr.im/zzzGc

However, at that point where one partner is at the brink of abandoning the relationship, how can the remaining partner save their marriage? If you are at the point where your spouse has asked for a divorce, what can you do?

You must realize first that, you do have a choice. Often, when confronted by a crisis, we find ourselves backed into a corner thinking we have no choice in the matter. How can we change the situation when it involves another person's feelings or decisions? While we cannot, must not and in no way manipulate, blackmail or threaten our partner into changing their mind, we can actually control how we react to the situation. If anything, you must realize that you still have control over yourself. You have the opportunity to look inward and take responsibility for your own feelings and actions and even have the chance to take personal inventory of what your partner is trying to tell you. Are there points in your marriage that must be changed? If so, respond appropriately and proactively.

Answer 3

Well the equal means that we've got a private title and might love to be referred to as via our title as a substitute of Man, Woman, Boy & so forth is the equal means that God feels. Psalms eighty three:18 says "May persons realize that you simply, whose title is Jehovah,You on my own are the Most High over the entire earth." The incontrovertible fact that his title is stated within the Bible indicates God wishes his title to be recognized & because we're his witnesses or fans, we're referred to as Jehovah's Witnesses.

Answer 4

i think the smartest thing for this couple would be to work on themselves and there relationship with jehovah before they start trying to work on a relationship with someone else. than once there strong be strong together... but in all honestly thats not how it always works out. your friends sound like they're in love. and they are not going to put eachother on the back burner for jehvoah. i think it is very possible that they grow spiritually when they are together. many couples have done so. my parents are a great example. they were always in the truth but maybe not as strong as some can be. they started going out inservice more often and together. we made the family bible study a more regular thing and soon enough my dad became a servant. it can always happen so it sounds like the best you can do for your friend is tell her what she should do.. and if that doesn't work just be happy for her and always suport her spiritually. maybe u can even encourage the two to get out inserivce with you or have some friends over and study the watchtower together and invite both of them. things like that are fun to do!!

Answer 5

Matt 7:17 "Likewise every good tree produces fine fruit, but every rotten tree produces worthless fruit;"

Living according to Bible truth should make one a better husband and a better father. If oneself is not "Conscious of Their Spiritual Need" how can he provide for thier family what is needed?

Luk 6:48 "It is like a person who builds a house on a strong foundation laid upon the underlying rock. When the floodwaters rise and break against the house, it stands firm because it is well built."

If the brother is building a strong spiritual foundation with God and his wife then they will be able to endure anything that comes their way.

My own personal recommendation would be to wait until the brother is strong enough to be considered a candidate for a servant of the congregation. So that if she ever falls, he will be there to pick her up.

Answer 6

I have seen it go both ways that they really help each other and it makes them both stronger. And I have seen it go that they both leave the truth.
That is a decision only they can make. We are told what is good for us but then it is up to us to follow that advice.
marriage is difficult under perfect conditions, it is the joining of two imperfect people. In a society in which most marriages fail. So the odds are against you to start with.
one women I remember her telling the story about her first husband beat her and left her with 4 children to raise alone.
Between working, meetings, studying with the children and not being there for them when they came home she felt she was failing as a mother. She married a much older man who was not a witness. He was willing to support her so she didn't have to work. Promised she could be free to do all her religious stuff. So she was there when the kids came home, rested enough to make meetings. She totally devoted herself to him to make him happy for taking care of her.
After the children were grown he got ill and she cared for him until he died. He said she was the best thing that ever happened to him. She said, "I know he was the best thing that ever happened to me" As a widow she is very active in the ministry. So this is for each person to decide.

Answer 7

Yes.

1 Thessalonians 4:11

http://watchtower.org/e/19990215/article_01.htm

Answer 8

it is hard for a drunk to tell another drunk, no.
i can't say anything else cause it would be my opinion and not fact. Hope the best for them both. who knows they may build each other up and become strong.

Answer 9

Ask the God of the Bible that.

Answer 10

The voice of wisdom says to build oneself up strong w/ Jehovah God first. Also, to look for like-minded individuals, who have done the same, to spend one's time with. Two people who haven't --either of them-- given evidence that they even can be spiritually strong, is a very shaky 'investment', spiritually, & maritally. Emotional Underdevelopment is actually very common. It can also be very difficult to recognize. It can keep an individual from being capable of recognizing true right & true wrong---Instead, mistaking their positive Feelings for True Right, & their negative Feelings for True Wrong. However, feelings often change, especially of those who are developmentally underdeveloped! They aren't capable of being True Adults (no mater what their age), although they can often come across as such, at times. People tend to assume that if they show the capacity Once, that that (& other similar) ability/s are Always available to them. But, their abilities actually Fluctuate, Unreliably. Such ones often need the regular mentoring of a true adult, for the Rest of their lives. This mentor needs to have a Special understanding of their needs, & how to deal with them, to keep their intended help from backfiring, big time. One of the biggest problems they have is that they are actually Unable to reason for themselves on their own, to reach a Wise decision, when this requires them to go Against their desires or feelings. The way their brain works, it often Can't tell the difference between a desire & a need. They can have a very high IQ, & a very good ability to handle communication & language skills. But, that does Not equate with wisdom or emotional maturity. Such things are handled in Very Different portions of the brain. Also, the things that lead to emotional underdevelopment are MANY, Very COMMON, & WIDE-spread.

Mature people don't try to join up with anyone, until they themself are strong, because they don't want to unecessarily risk either their own, or, the other person's happiness. Even more, they don't want to risk their own spirituality, or that of anyone else. However, even more important to them than both of those reasons combined, is whether it would make Jehovah's heart happy or not...

Marriage is Not easy, even for the Mature Faithful.
The best that the emotionally immature can do when married, is --in effect-- to 'play house'. Their relationships sorely lack in communication, as they see no need for it, any more than a typical 7yo does. Their communication skills in public come across as normal, but personal communication with them is very limited. Their depth of understanding is very shallow for an adult, yet typical for a child. This aspect often gets hidden by thier ability to memorize information, & give many of the correct answers to the right person at the right time. They are capable of putting together & giving good & accurate talks. But --if one knows how to question them-- it can be discovered whether or not they actually understand Principles. The ones I have questioned do not: When given 2 stories that are identicle except for the type of items involved, & asked what principles the 2 stories have in common, I've been told that the stories have Absolutely Nothing in common. When asked why, I was told: "One was about cars, the other about bikes." -- The rest of the story was acctually Identicle: the amounts, & what happened with them... The principles --even the situations-- involved were the EXACT same, but they didn't even grasp what a principle was. It was a Real Shocker when I first realized this!

One of the things that can help to identify someone with this problem, is Age Inappropriate Behavior. They may laugh at some things that are very serious in nature, because they can't really understand the depth of the problem. They may also feel insecure, & so laugh... Or, they may view other's seriousness as unecessary & silly, & thus laugh or giggle...
Giggling is not something truelly mature people do, but I know 'men' approaching 50yo --w/ very deep voices-- who always have.

Such one's ability to make wise decisions is very limited.

"But they are JWs!", I've often heard...

There are very good reasons for people who have often been taken advantage of, &/or laughed at or ridiculed (common fare for these people), to want to be JWs. Think about it... JWs are trained to accept others & to not be critical... to be patient & kind & helpful... This is Very Appealing to people who can't understand explanations as to why they ought to do something different, or why they're doing something wrong. They just want to be left alone to do the best they can understand, & often they begin very early in life to 'agree' with --& Claim to understand-- things that they Do Not, because they Can Not. Just to keep the pressure off --the pressure of parents, & teachers, & ministers, who are just trying to help, (but under the Assumption that these ones are normal & can understand them)-- they nod their heads in agreement, or say "that sounds good to me", when they Don't actually comprehend it, or, Totally Misunderstand it. (Those I know also don't care to be questioned about their understanding, so it's very difficult & trying to try to ascertain just what their understanding on a matter actually is. They often answer in generalities, in the hopes you'll assume whatever answer you are hoping for.)

It's very sad for all concerned. Only Jehovah can ever put things right for them. But, the question remains for us... Who is morally responsible for them Now, in God's eyes? Their parents? They often have the same or similar problem. How can a 7yo be expected to shoulder the responsibilities that are expected of a mature person? When they are, they often fail, & sometimes bolt away to relieve themselves of the terrible pressure... Thus results broken families, & multiple disfellowshiped ones...

These ones are often viewed as lazy, weak-willed, willful, undisciplined, etc... They are told that they don't like to learn, or work, & other negative ideas about themselves-- often from early childhood. They are Assumed to be capable, but are Not. They are Misjudged, accordingly. They are often actually very sweet people, who would never intentionally harm anyone, yet when they unintentionally do, they are usually blamed & held responsible as adults... They often don't learn from their mistakes (or those of others), & repeat them... They tend to have both very poor memory for such things, along with the inability to Really understand what was wrong with what they did. Yet, what happens if they don't agree that it was wrong, anyway? And, what happens if they do agree, yet still don't understand? They are 'between a rock, & a hard place'! -- Yet, they are often able to memorize information if they feel they have to, at least temporarily. This is often mistaken for understanding the material in much greater depth than they are actually capable of...

It breaks my heart!

The laws of the land usually don't recognize their disability, so they do not offer them the type or extent of protection that they so often need... The same goes for society, cultural, & religious groups, too. Education is sorely needed.

Please excuse me for venting. I don't know if either of your friends fit the description I've just given or not. If you'd like more information, I'd be glad to share links to some very helpful, on-line info. Just email your request, w/ a link to this Q.

A person should know the facts about their own limitations before asking someone else into their lives, & should openly share these limitations with one another. Obviously, the emotionally under-developed cannot reasonable be expected to be able to discern what their limitations really are, no matter how well explained...

Such ones need on-going spiritual guidance similar to that needed by an actual 7yo child--However, with certain modifications!