How to acknowledge someone with cancer when they don't want to be treated differently?

Question

I have recently been informed from my mother that a relative of mine has been diagnosed with cancer. We've been told that this person didn't want to tell anyone and doesn't want to be treated differently. How can you support this person during this time and acknowledge the fact that you know without treating them differently. My heart goes out to this person and I'd like to do something but don't want to make them feel bad. Please tell me what I can do?

Answer 1

They may feel that people act differently towards them. They don't want anyone to feel sorry for them. Possibly they have not come to terms with what is going on, yet. They also could be embarrassed that they are in this situation. Just let them know that you are there when or if they would like to talk about how they are feeling. When the time comes if they need help tell them to just ask, other wise go on with your normal life and act as you normally do towards them. In my situation I didn't want anyone to know until I was sure what was going on. But for me helped to talk about how I was feeling and my fears. But please don't ask every time you see them how are they feeling today. I get so tired of that. My parents never before asked how I was feeling everyday, now they do. Just treat them normal, because we are, we just have a disease that we cant help that we have. If they want to talk about it they eventually will. Sorry that you are having such a difficult time trying to relate to them. Be yourself. God Bless!

Answer 2

just respect their wishes as best you can.many people with cancer automatically feel isolated, and frightened that people will back away and be too scared to treat them normally.this person knows you know about the cancer and can therefore approach you about it if they so choose. as hard as it might be for you now,don't avoid this person.each time you consciously choose not to see them,the next time will only be that more difficult.if its appropriate to do so,hug them when you see them.don't do that obviously if its not the norm or they will feel a bit weird.my dad has been diagnosed with lung cancer and he also doesn't want people to know or be treated any differently and mum and we have been as true to that as we possibly could have been. its been hard,but i could never betray my dad's wishes.if you need more support,contact a counselling service such as Macmillan nurses or macmillan.co.uk.good luck.

Answer 3

Do as they ask, they will trust you and when they are ready they will / may talk.

If they do talk, let them dictate when and how much. That is the best you can do for them.

Lots of people need time to come to terms with their 'new' life.

Answer 4

when you see them give them an extra long hug thats really all you can do.
and pray for him/her