how can i get my brother to stop picking on me?

Question

okay so my brother is 18 and i am 16 he is constantly picking on me, every single day and i just cant deal with it anymore sometimes it is so bad that i just about want to cry, and apparently i always start the violence because when he makes me mad i am so angry i cant think straight so my reaction is hitting him, however he does not stop the violence he just escaldes it and hits me harder back, my parents say just to ignore it (not the violence, what he says to me) and that he is only doing it because he knows it pushes my buttons, i have tried to ignore it but it is just so hard to sometimes what do you do when your older siblings pick on you? also it makes me feel even worse when my mom is around when we are fighting especially after the fight we just had because she said "why dont we all just say we hate each other" and we dont hate each other it is just that we get on each others nerves sometimes and i just feel really bad that this is how my mom percieves it

are fights are not always this bad, but we usually do have at least one or two "Small" spats a day

*please dont say that we need counselling either because i dont think that we are that bad, and i am only saying this because some of the peoples answers that i have read go to extremes and i know that we dont need counselling thanks

my parents are around but not usually for the big stuff, and if my mom is around especially we dont want to see her said so we usually try to restrain our selves from letting our fights get out of hand

i didnt think my explanation sounded that bad but i am writing this right after we had a huge fight so it my be a little exaggerated

all your answers are great, some of them have even made me laugh and put me in a better mood, and the hitting is just going on between me and my brother

Answer 1

i have two older brothers.. they do this all the time.. they're in their mid 20s now but they still won't stop bothering me. everytime i go to their place, they'd pick on me too. but that's the way it is.. boys are always like that..
if they tease you just be very quiet.. silence will stop them.. they'll get sick of talking and they'll leave you alone
or if they throw stuff at you for no reason.. fight back.. it's fun anyway. my brothers do this all the time. we even do a bit of wrestling sometimes.. i used to get very upset when i was little but i grew up enjoying getting back at them as well..
if they steal your money, steal their money next time.. take more.. this is probably a bad advice
anyway, the main thing is... take it easy.. learn how to be more fun and get your revenge... trust me, it's fun.. no one gets hurt.. cos if you do get your revenge, boys usually just laugh at how evil you can be.. then you'll be friends.. like me and my bros.

Answer 2

One of the first signs that a young person is becoming a young adult is that they are able to exert self control. It is a known fact that girls mature faster than boys and so although your brother is your older brother he is actually about your age or maybe even a little bit younger. One thing you can do is "consider the source" and give yourself a time out ( or a kit kat break HA) and think about it the next time he starts in. One thing for sure kiddo you don't want to hit him you are both too old to be hitting one another. You are both too close to starting relationships with other people and you don't want your brother to get the idea its okay to hit girls. It really is a soap box for me but hitting is a bad thing to do.

At any rate exert your self control ; look for triggers. What sets a spat off?? Do you recognize a look about your brother when he is looking for some extra stimulation? Think of something you can do with him to burn off some energy. Don't know if you are into fitness but if you like to run or even just walk invite him out for one or the other for fresh air, etc. For sure he is less likely to hit or get violent out in public, at least one would hope so.

You need to figure out what makes you so mad about the situation and decide if that level of anger is worth any of the consequences. It doesn't sound like it. Many times in family we are so close to the situation it is hard to recognize the problem. For all intents and purposes your brother should be setting his sights on moving out of the house or getting ready for college or something rather than picking on you.

You might also want to sit down and have a serious visit with your Mom about the situation and tell her how hurt you are about the response she gives you. If you are living in a family where hitting just goes on between all members then you probably do need to talk to someone; but if it is just you and your brother battling it out then you need to ask your Mom to step in and stop the fights before they escelate. But I promise if you can learn to redirect your brother away from the fight then he will soon find the stimulation he seeks elsewhere. Unless you live in lock down, you can always walk away and you cool off outside or in your room or whatever. If you want to be stubborn and think your rights about whatever are more important than whatever it is he wants then the fights won't stop. An adult knows when to just walk away. Like I said earlier; consider the source and move on.

Answer 3

Your brother gets his kicks by pulling your chain... period.
You have to learn to NOT give him the responses he is looking for.
If he says something cruddy, you just say something like "well if you are going to be like that, I don't have to put up with you!" and then you make yourself scarce.
You will cease being his target and he will move on to another target.
If the majority of this activity happens before your parents get home, consider getting into some after-school extracurricular activities, or going to a friend's house to do homework, just so you have a legitimate excuse to not be home until after your parents have arrived.

Answer 4

He's 18 you would think he would of grown up by now, tell your mom you're fed up with the way she handles this situation. Tell her she really needs to come up with a solution before something bad happens. For example she need to tell your brother he's an adult now and if he can't get along with members of this family he need to find some where else to live period!

Answer 5

Try to exert some control and ignore him! It might take awhile but once he realizes he isn't going to get a rise from you he'll stop. Consider it practice for the big bad world you'll be joining upon graduation.

Answer 6

Where are your parents in all this Yes its a our jobs as p arents to make sure brother and sister respect each other

Answer 7

I think you should realli heed your parents advice to ignore him... I mean, i'm sure he's bored to death, or is trying to find something new about him... uhm... juz ignore him, pretend tht he exists... Tht's wad i do !!! BTW, you don't need counselling...

Answer 8

give him one tight big slap and tell him 'dont u ever come near me again' :)