help with family please!!!!please!! :0)?

Question

My mom was getting really angry one night and kept lashing out on me. Then my other younger brother idk was just being a little 13 year old boy and messing around with his friend. He was cussing and being a little brat, honestly nothing out of the ordinary of a 13 year old boy. So she went off on him and lashed out on him. She said that he was disrespectful and out of control because he does this... Then my dad was ease dropping and butted in and started going off on my 13 year old brother and kicked him and started yelling at his face in a corner. I could not believe it! I absolutely felt horrible for him(my brother). My younger brother slammed his door and kicked it then started yelling he wanted to kill himself. I feel so bad for him! I got really upset at them and told them it was rediculous what they did. So basically they got really mad at me, cursed at me and told me that I was disrespectful.Then i said i will move out and they said well fine wont pay for anything.school etc.

here are some insights... my parents are very strange and like to figure out everything for some reason. I honestly I just wish my brother would have a happy life. They are always on him about his friends getting into trouble and he can't hang out with them. he never gets to hang out with his friends ever. he is always at home. I think thats why he is so unhappy because even if he has good grades he is barely allowed out of the house. Trust me I was an honors student in high school and my mom would always say things like well school isn't the most important thing some people arn't that great at it. But then yet I wasn't really allowed out of the house either. I was a senior and had to be home at 10!Basically I just hung out with my boyfriend because my mom would be weird when I tried to hang out with other people.. when all of my other friends had to be home at the soonest midnight. So i see how my brother feels. it sucks and it's so hard. At least thats how it was for me.

Answer 1

From your shocked tone, it sounds as if this anger and aggression from your parents just came out of the blue, with no warning, and it's not their usual behavior.

If that is the case, maybe money problems, or problems in their relationship or something else you don't know about has been causing a huge amount of tension between them, they are not handling it well, and they snapped at behavior they would've ordinarily ignored.

If your description of your little brother's behavior is accurate, there is no excuse for your father going so far as to back him into a corner, scream at him and kick him.

You don't mention how old you are, but don't move out. Here's why.

First, if you move out now, you will be forced to pay for everything yourself, which you won't be able to afford. Even living with friends, you won't be able to. Stay at home and get financial help from your parents for school. When you do move, you will move with an education and be in much better shape to live successfully.

Second, your little brother needs you. If you move out, no one will be there to run interference between him and your parents. It sounds like he pushes their buttons a little more than you do.

When everybody calms down, you need to get to the bottom of what happened and why everyone blew up. You need to figure out why emotions are escalating to such a degree around your house, and you need to do so, as a family. Try to ask your mom and dad what is going on with them, separately. They probably won't tell you everything (some things are their private affair), but they will probably give you some insight. Stay respectful and try to avoid accusing them of losing it.

A school counselor can help, if only to talk to, and can recommend a family counselor for some or all of the family to discuss relationship difficulties with, as well.

Hang in there. It's not gonna last forever, although it feels like it. You are going to make a good parent yourself, one day.

Answer 2

Well... sounds like your parents are really on edge. There is obviously a lot more going on. You don't mention your age.

Perhaps your mom is going through that menopause thing, which will put her on edge, keep her from sleeping, and have her feeling physically and mentally miserable. Your dad will also feel bad as a result.

You and your brother need to get together and come to a meeting of the minds. You know your parents are having a tough time.

Your parents are supporting you, giving you a home, clothes, food and the opportunity for an education... all they really ask is that you pick up after yourselves, go to school and do your studies, do the few chores your parents ask you to do, have some respect for them and generally stay out of trouble. If you and your brother are not holding up your end, your parents have a right to be upset and to express about this.

What I am saying is to try to make sure you both do the right things to prevent blow-ups like this... and perhaps learn to keep a low profile around the house.

Answer 3

OK first there is abuse going on in your home. You need to tell an adult you trust-teacher, doctor, minister. Unless your parents get some help in learning how to deal with their anger, the abuse will not stop it will only get worse. They don't want to do this, they just don't know how to make it stop. They, and you will be much happier (not to mention safer)i if they get some counseling. Do not wait until you or your brother get hurt bad before you seek help. Running away will only put you in a different kind of danger.

Answer 4

You need to tlk to your p;arents...there is no need for yelling, or kicking for that matter, thats actually called child abuse, I think maybe your parents need some help on dealing with some underlying issues, there is absolutely no need ever for their behaviour. Talk to a counsellor, before it gets out of control.