Can anyone relate? We need some uplifting positive stories!!?

Question

How come the careless ones get pregnant so easily not even trying to (often several times) and the ones that plan and try to get pregnant often have fertility problems or it takes several tries before they conceive? It seems the ones that don't want kids have them and the ones that want kids CAN'T have them...there are so many women on here with questions about fertility issues and sad stories of unwanted "accidents" (no child is an accident, God decides who is created and each person has a purpose!), how about uplifting stories about planned pregnancies that were successful??

My boyfriend and I are TTC #1 (for me, he has kids from a previous relationship) and I would just like some positive words for a change! Thanks!

John N.- Thank you so much! I wish there could be more people like you! And congratulations, I am happy to hear you are getting prepared and are happy also! Best of luck to you.

Answer 1

Well..when I was a teenager I was told that there was a 95% chance that I would never conceive. My endometriosis was so bad, that it would amost be impossible. I met my husband and got married 6 months later, and we decided to not use any protection, and if God wanted to bless us, then it was meant to be. If not, then we would just accept it. I never took any fertility drugs, or anything like that. 4 years later, I got pregnant, and even though I had a very hard pregnancy and alot of medical problems after my c-section, I have a beautiful, healthy 10 month old girl. That's my happy story!!

Answer 2

Well, I may not have exactly the kind of story that you are looking for, but my girlfriend, Heather and I, John, just found out that she is pregnant. It is unexpected and we are not really prepared, but fortunately we have the help of our families and we are going to take it head-on and be the best parents that we can be. We are young, scared and nervous, but not upset, on the contrary, after coming to terms with the huge responsibility we are undertaking and the complete change in plans and priorities that our lives are undergoing, we can now feel pure joy at the thought of our growing child.
I have created a website for dads since, because there is a huge lack of websites/resources for fathers out there. I will have a blog on there, as well as every other registered user, and I will be up all night building the forum tonight, so perhaps this will be a place for you and your boyfriend to find and share advice and stories and I would be honored if you helped make it a place where others could do the same.
http://www.yoozadaddy.com
Best Regards,
John Natoli
[e-mail]

Answer 3

Hi -
sorry to hear of your frustration. I also wonder why so many pregnancies are unwanted when those who really want them have trouble conceiving.
I am one of those who fell pregnant by accident. I never wanted to have children but for me, the minute I knew I was pregnant I knew I wanted her and three years on, she is the love of my life. Earlier this year, we planned our second and were successful, but it ended in miscarriage and the next month I got pregnant again and am now 31 weeks along.
An "accidental" pregnancy for me turned out to be the best thing that could happen for me as I cannot imagine it any other way.
However, in relation to your comment, I had three couples around me who were trying for many years to conceive when I fell very easily. Two couples had been trying for over one year, and the other had been trying for six years and had 2 miscarriages in that time. I was very anxious about telling them of my news because although I knew of course they would be happy for me, there would also be hurt that it had not happened to them. Now the first two couples already have two children (one of whom was born on the day my miscarried baby would have been), and the couple trying for 6 years have a 13 month old.
I know this sounds really corny but my life has been very hard at times and I have to struggle for many things. I have a lot of upset in my life. I am not suggesting those having trouble conceiving have perfect lives but I think that maybe they are stronger and better able to deal with lifes problems. They might not feel like they are, but every dissapointment lgives them more strength and think of the delight at the end of the tunnel when it is their turn for it to happen to them. I really believe even with trouble conceiving, you will get there and while my personal experiene may not uplift you, hopefully that of my friends may help.

Answer 4

I agree that no child is an accident. That said, Hubby and I had a "surprise" baby who was also planned - we didn't exactly try to get pregnant (but didn't try to prevent it, either - we just let nature take its course) and were thrilled from the moment we found out. Some friends of ours (another married couple) had been trying to conceive at the time for over a year. They asked us, quite simply, how we did it. Aside from the obvious "method," we told them to just throw out the calendar, stop using the little tricks and tools that are supposed to help you conceive (some of the ones they heard might help really gave us a laugh), and let whatever happens happen. Lo and behold, they finally got pregnant almost immediately after they stopped trying too hard.
That said, don't take offense to this, but I do agree that God sometimes gives babies to parents who seem unfit for a reason. It doesn't make it right for a parent to not care properly for his or her child, but I think there's a reason God does it. Those children are meant to be born to those particular families, while for whatever reason, He doesn't choose the parents who truly want a baby to have one. Maybe He wants a particular couple to be married before they plan children, or He doesn't give a baby to another because of something that will happen down the road that would make having a child complicated - who knows. But if it's truly meant to be, you and your boyfriend will eventually have a baby. God bless.

Answer 5

i understand the problem my sis in law has been trying for 3 yrs now and cant seem to get pregnant
myself i was married 2 yrs and very ready to have a baby and it only took 1 try to get pregnant and we now have a beautiful 3 yr old daughter and she's all we want so my husband is getting fixed
my cousin on the other hand has 2 kids and isnt married yet and her mother had 2 kids from different fathers and partied all the time and now has a 3rd kid from a 3rd father and has finally decided to settle down (and somehow in this family i am considered the screwed up outcast)

Answer 6

Who cares? Do you think only prepared, married couples should easily have children and the rest of us should suffer? It doesn't work that way. "god" perhaps feels that certain people aren't ready to be parents?

My aunt used to whine all the time about how it took her 9 years to conceive and bla bla bla. Turns out, she had a drug problem and her husband was abusing her as well. I think "god" was waiting for all this to pass.

I doubt WE know what is better for us than god does.

Answer 7

I just get frustrated that there are still kids out there who need adopting, foster parents, or even just caring adults to volunteer or mentor in their lives.