Warning to ALL men with Delusions?

Question

Workplace Hazardous Materials Information Sheet

Substance: Woman
Chemical system: Wo
manufacturer: God
Typical size: Average weight 115 lbs; specimens can vary from 90-200 lbs.
Occurrence: large quantities found in urban areas and shopping malls


PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Surface tension – soft and warm.
2. Exposed surfaces usually cosmetically enhanced.
3. Boils at nothing.
4. Freezes without reason.
5. Melts with special reason.
6. Flavor initially sweet, becomes bitter if used incorrectly.
7. Found in various states of purity from virgin metal to common ore.
8. Yields to pressure if applied to specific points.
9. Sometimes enlarges alarmingly with age.
10. Even brief linking with male substance can cause substance to reproduce with marked physical and mental changes.


CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Has affinity for gold, silver and precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. Highly volatile for reasons not clearly understood.
4. Verbal activity greatly increased by alcohol saturation.
5. Most powerful money-reducing agent known. (See HAZARDS #3).


COMMON USES:

1. Highly ornamental.
2. Relatively brief exposure can be a great aid to relaxation.
3. Pleasurable companion until legally owned.

SUBSTANCE VERIFICATION:

1. Pure specimen turns bright pink when observed in natural state.
2. Turns green when compared to better specimen.

HAZARDS:

1. May explode spontaneously without cause.
2. Illegal to possess more than one specimen at a time.
3. Avoid specimen contact with plastic credit cards.

From the man? called Theo this is called Jokes! can you get that, if not p*ss off

Answer 1

go get em bri,
starred

Answer 2

This is an MSDS - Material Safety Data Sheet Good one! Have a star!

Answer 3

Average weight of a woman is not 115 lbs. If you consider women to be females who have gone through puberty. And the other weight specifications are a lot off too.
Also, since you seem to be going for the All-women-are-gold-digging-bitches thing, you may as well also go for the oh-so-kind Common uses of Cleaning aid, and Stimulant.

Answer 4

I'm a woman and i found that hilarious!!!
Especially this one: 7. Found in various states of purity from virgin metal to common ore.

You get a shiny star for that!!!!!

Answer 5

Funny! Good one! 10!

Answer 6

youre going down into a slump if you ask me but technacly you are lol yeah im not funny its a question in poitics

Answer 7

average wieght 115 pounds?? yeah, in china. whats your question?

doesnt look like christin has a sense of humor.

Answer 8

luvvvv it 10

Answer 9

Funny... Except for the parts about 'owning'...

Answer 10

Hazardous Materials Information Sheet

Substance (or rather lack of): Man

Physical Properties:
1. Cold and (if lucky) hard
2. Exposed surfaces should be cosmetically enhanced
3. Freezes when needs are met
4. Melts with enough beer and Monday night football
5. Flavor initially pungent, occasionally becomes sweet when wants another beer or sex
6. Yields to pressure if wants something (see 5)
7. Certain parts tend to not enlarge with age

Chemical Properties:

1. Often runs hot and cold
2. Highly reactive when presented with the words, love, commitment and children
3. Most powerful mood-reducing agent known to female substance

Common Uses:
1. Sperm donor
2. Occasionally buys drinks at Happy Hour (see 6)
3. Substitute for more fulfilling activities (shopping, having fun with friends, almost anything else)
4. Mildly interesting companion until needs are met.

Substance Verification:
1. Commonly disappears when pressure applied

Hazards:
1. Can cause lack of sleep, irritability, loss of appetite, low self-esteem, and frequent tearfulness (see DSM-IV criteria for causes of mood disorders)
2. Tends to revert to infantile behavior when needs are not met (see #s 5 and 6 under physical properties)
3. Tends to revert to base, animal behavior around species of its own kind, especially in large numbers

Answer 11

I'm a woman but that made me laugh. I see you know all about MSDS!! I'm starring this one....a lot of it is true -- too funny :)