My boyfriend doesn't get that I work full time and after that I need time to workout and spend time with family and friends. He says I don't make him a priority, which is not true I am with him Fri and Sat nights and usually one day midweek. We have only been dating 6 months so I guess I don't know why he is so possessive with my time. He never drives to pick me up I always go over to his house which is 30 min away ( i live with my mom). He is a lot older than me and is financially stable. I like having my own life, my own job and he doesn't seem to understand I need other outlets. He is very good to me in other ways, he is very loving and generous..... I don't want to break up with him, but I am finding that I don't have a way out. If I don't spend my whole weekend with him, he becomes very passive aggressive, will not call me, and I feel like I will never make him happy unless I am with him 24/7. How can I explain to him that I love him but I need to have other outlets.
2007-11-05 11:00:56 · 20 answers · asked by workoutloverprincess 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He sounds needy and insecure. You just have to tell him that it's healthy for people to spend time with other people and for people in a relationship to not spend all their time together.
If he's not willing to accept that, then you might have to leave him.
2007-11-05 11:05:34 · answer #1 · answered by Underground Man 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately you can't. He doesn't seem to need any outlets, you are his priority when on weekends, which means if you do not make him your priority, he will feel unloved and whatnot. I know what you are saying, not meeting him one day does not diminish your love for him, but it is hard to explain this to self centered people. Just the fact that he doesn't pick you up says a lot to me about what kind of a person he is. So, either you cave in, or you move out.
2007-11-05 11:07:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a full time job and I need my own time..
I like having my own life, my own job and he doesn't seem to understand I need other outlets
My boyfriend doesn't get that I work full time and after that I need time to workout and spend time with family and friends.
He says I don't make him a priority, which is not true I am with him Fri and Sat nights and usually one day midweek.
actually THIS sounds more selfish than anything he may be doing...
ARE YOU SURE THAT YOU ARE NOT THE SELFISH ONE??
2007-11-05 11:05:48 · answer #3 · answered by juanes addicion 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My boyfriend is exactly the same. We have to spend mon - sunday with each other and Im not allowed to complain or Im being out of order, I know its hard because im going through the same. I like to do simple things like dance around to my ipod, watch T.V but he says its rude to do that while he's there. Now im only 17 but we are very serious about each other and have been for along time. I also work full time from 9am-5pm and the second I walk back into my home he is there. He meets me for lunch everyday and I canno't say "No".
Im always tense and even got depressed for a while because I wasn't sleeping as he stayed at my house until 2am when I had work the next day and he just got to lie in bed and have all the sleep he wanted. I was really upset and it made me ill.
Now I've gotton used to being trapped, you need to act fast.
Im not so good around other people now and im not getting any exercise and he constanly shouts at me. Don't get me wrong, I love him with all my heart, but theres only so much we can take. My house is messy when my mother doesnt get a chance to clean it because im too busy with him. My mother and father have told him to come around my house less often so I have time do do other things, but he doesn't listen to any of it. I don't really have a solution for this problem, I can just let you know other people are going through it too.
The only thing you can do is speak to him, unless he's like my BF and will take it the wrong way. xxxxxxx
2007-11-05 11:05:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I just love independent women! You go, girl.
Well, sounds like your man doesn't know what to do with himself when he's not with you. You need to keep what you're doing and insist nicely that you also need some "me time" for yourself. If he doesn't call you and pulls one of his stubborn acts the next time, just ignore him, don't call him back and see what he does. I guarantee he will be calling you to see why you haven't called him yet, and you can plainly tell him that you're both adults, he's not 12, and you're not going to put up with his childish antics.
I've been there, done that. The possessive type of boyfriends will soon get old. You'll feel torn and tired to deal with it, and you'll eventually see yourself wanting to spend time away from him because he's so possessive - which isn't healthy for a relationship anyway. If he really loves you and you love him just as much, you both need to sit and talk; compromise. He's got to learn that you have a life outside of him and being away from him for one day won't kill him.
2007-11-05 11:07:56 · answer #5 · answered by foxsuite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have not sat down and told him these things then do that now!
If you have, then you need to be realistic.
Maybe what you want and what he wants are two different things. You can't force him into being something he is not.
If he wants 24/7 companionship and you don't, then it's not gonna work out for you i'm afraid.
2007-11-05 11:08:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you don't spend too much time with him at all. Are you simply not attracted to him? I think that's what you are realizing here.
Because a lot of girls are overjoyed to spend time with their man. You just give him a couple nights of the week.
Time to get a new man. One that you might actually enjoy spending time with.
2007-11-05 11:08:27 · answer #7 · answered by LuckyLavs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't even waste your time with someone who makes you (to any degree) miserable! There are PLENTY of good guys out there. You are wasting your time w/ someone who isn't what you need/want. Because REMEMBER, if he is a pain in the a** NOW, he will only get worse!!!
2007-11-05 11:06:17 · answer #8 · answered by Michelle B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make him understand and tell him that you love him and that there has to be some space between the both of y'all. Tell him to go hang out with his family and his buddies!! that way he can also have something to do...
2007-11-05 11:06:13 · answer #9 · answered by In love! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's financially stable but he doesn't have a job?
I'm guessing that would mean he's living off his parents?
You should tell him to make more of an effort for you. If he really wants to see you that much, is it that hard for him?
2007-11-05 11:04:13 · answer #10 · answered by ♥ Blonde&Intelligent 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋