I am Catholic he is Lutheran, Our baby?

Question

My fiancé and I had a baby a couple months ago. I was raised Catholic. I don't go to church on a very regular basis anymore, but I did go every Sunday and every religious holiday until college. My fiancé is Lutheran. They never really went to church, they just believed. I want my son baptized Catholic. But his father wants us to do non-denomination. How do I reason with him or should I reason with him on this?

I do not and I repeat do not want this to be confrontational. Just reasoning.

Baptism is to cleanse you of original sin.... Hello I'm Catholic He is Lutheran we both believe in original sin.

Let me make something straight my sons father, wants him to be baptized non-denomination. No father-in-law.

Answer 1

Assumimg that you are eventually get married, you've got a lot of work ahead of you, having laid a weak foundation. This means you both are going to have to be open to each other and honestly talk it out. But consider how you as the parents are going to support this decision. If you baptise your child a Catholic, but never do anything to support and nuture that, then what is your purpose or point? Hope this helps.

Answer 2

What's confusing about your question is that "non-denominational infant baptism" is very nearly a contradiction in terms. Seriously: I've never heard of a non-denominational church that did infant baptism. And I thought you said your fiancé was Lutheran.

But that issue aside, on the question of the baptism itself I think you can set your mind at ease in any case. If your child is baptized in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, then it is a valid Catholic baptism. It does't matter who performs it: The Catholic Church will recognize it, though you should check with someone at your home parish to see if there's anything you need to do to formalize that recognition.

The far bigger issue you two need to confront is your son's subsequent upbringing. I would suggest as a starting point that you and your fiancé mutually agree to arrange a meeting with his pastor or another appropriate counselor from his church, and a separate meeting with a counterpart in your parish, to discuss the matter. Make sure both of these parties are aware that you're also meeting with the other, and that they're okay with it. Assuming both are good people who will be fair to the other side, this would be a good way to clarify the issues and help the two of you to make an informed decision together.

If your fiancé is wanting to raise your son in a church that does not practice infant baptism, then baptism would have to wait until after this counseling; and in this case your decision about his upbringing is going to include the very question of whether to baptize him at this time.


Why doesn't your fiancé want your son to be Lutheran? From a Catholic point of view, there are far worse things you could be than Lutheran (like non-denominational, for example lol).


EDIT: I also briefly thought you were talking about a fiancé and a father-in-law. I think the reason is that you are giving what seems to be contradictory information--that your fiancé on the one hand is Lutheran, but on the other hand wants the baby to be raised non-denominational. I personally find this very confusing, as that would not be a typical position for a Lutheran to take at all.

Answer 3

If you are a baptized Catholic and serious about your faith, your duty is to baptize and raise your child as a Catholic if at all possible.

That means that you should try to reason with him and explain to him the seriousness of your duty as mother. Explain to him also that baptism is not just a one-time thing but an initiation into Christ's Church, and to be fully intiated means your child should be part of a church family. That means choosing a parish to be active in so the child's faith and grow and flourish.

For that reason, it DOES matter which church the baptism will take place in. That church will be the beginning of a very long and wonderful journey of grace for your child. Explain to your fiance that your baby needs a firm foundation, not just any place to get sprinkled or dunked.

If you present your child for baptism at a Catholic Church, you will need to show you are a practicing Catholic that attends Mass and you might also need to have an affiliation with that parish (which will be your child's future "church family").

Some parishes also give baptismal classes to prepare parents and children.

I would also suggest that you check into your local Catholic parish for a "refresher" course or perhaps you could sit in on their RCIA program. At the very least, buy a used copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church on Amazon and start re-learning the faith of your youth!

I know it's kind of too late to say this, but this often happens when couples of mixed denominations marry and have children. They think everything will work out until a child is born. Suddenly the question of religion becomes very important and they disagree on what's to be done.

My boyfriend and I were of different religions and we did not marry until we both converted to the same denomination so we could be in total agreement about how the children would be raised and what the faith of our family would be.

Answer 4

the child's grandfather has no say in the matter.

This is very serious. You had a child out of wedlock, and I would presume that you and your fiance continue to have illicit sexual relations. If you truly want your son to not only be baptized a Catholic, but also live a Sacramental Life in the Church, you need to get back into good graces with the Catholic Church. First, you must go to confession, and listen to what the priest tells you. Start going to mass every Sunday, but you cannot receive communion until you are rightfully married according to Church Canon law.

You have to have courage and strength. Ask God Almighty to strengthen and enlighten you. He will guide you in what must be done and said.

Answer 5

You are in a tough spot, not because you are Catholic and the father is not, but because you have little moral ground to base a discussion on with the father because you are not even practicing your faith.

First step is for you to talk with a Priest, that is what they are for, I am not judging you, but is appears that you are living with a man and had a baby with a man that you do not share a sacramental marriage with and you are also not attending mass. These are all considered sins according to the Catholic Church.

The easy step is to just go for faith light, or non-denominational, which is a much better option than no faith at all. I suspect that now as a mother, you are going back to your roots and wanting to do the best job you can in raising your child. Good for you! But, before you can make a rational case for raising your child in the Catholic Church, you first must understand why you want to and convey that to the father of the child. Pressure from your parents is not a good enough reason in itself.

I was the Protestant father and my wife is Catholic, we had the luxury of being able to discuss this issue before we got married and had kids, it most likely is going to be a tougher discussion after the fact, but I agreed to have the kids baptized Catholic.

My #1 suggestion is to get back to Mass, take him along, but don't try to force it on him. Be as sensitive to his beliefs as you expect him to be with yours. Talk to your priest! Maybe even attend some RCIA classes so that you can learn your faith from an adult perspective, so many Catholics go to church as kids, learning the faith from a Childs perspective, then go away to college, quit attending Mass and leave the faith before ever even scratching the surface of all there is to learn about.

But you have to start with you attending Mass, Pray about it, and talk with him.

Congratulations on the new baby!

Good Luck and may God bless all of you!

Peace!

Answer 6

You and your boyfriend need to make this decision, not your father-in-law.

If you want the baby to be baptized in the Catholic Church, that means you need to give the priest some assurance that you will raise him to know and love the Catholic faith. One way of doing this is to start going to Mass again on Sundays. You won't be able to receive the Eucharist until you get your personal life straightened out (get married or stop having sex before marriage, and then go to confession for that and voluntarily missing Mass and whatever else you need to get off your chest), but it's still perfectly okay to take the baby to Mass every week and develop that regular habit of worship again.

Answer 7

Pastor Billy says: you have a responsibility to baptise your child regardless of the way you go but I'd say this is a perfect opportuniity for you to learn the faith of your youth. The child is yours and although he is a grandfather he doesn't have the immediate authority to dictate.

I have to ask if you are going to be wed in a Catholic ceremony? You do realize that as a baptized Catholic the Church will not honor any marriage you have outside the Church. You'll need to do this if you wish to continue celebrating the sacraments ie. Eucharist at some future date.

Take the time now to learn your faith and go talk to a Catholic priest or contact the Bishop's diocese office for a more informative answer to all your question which are sure to come :)

addendum: ignore Pastor Art he wouldn't even share his Christian bible with me so I tell him, hope you enjoy our Catholic book.

Answer 8

The father and mother of your baby need to baptize that child into the community of their shared faith -- That is to say -- Baptism (and this is in the Lutheren as well as Roman Catholic tradition) is about bringing the child into the community of the parents. And it's about the parents' resolution/determination/~oath~ to raise their child in their tradition. This question is about what faith you and your fiance will practice together and pass on to your children.

And so as to not be confrontational (I really can appreciate that) think of the question not as how your child will be raised, but rather how you and your fiance will practice. This is a question of ~you~

Approach it as a question to your fiance about how you will practice and grow together in your faith and love for God. Put God as your mutual primary focus...figure out how and where you will practice together from there and then follow that. That is the community into which you bring your child - and bringing your child into the community is what the sacrament of baptism is about.

Blessings to you both on your newest addition and blessing to your family.

-M

Answer 9

This is why it is best not to bring a child into the world until you are ready for it.

If you two had bothered to get married, you as a Catholic would have made a promise to raise your children as Catholics.

You are the mother- it is your choice. This guy hasn't even made a serious commitment to you and your child. ( actually gettting married). Stand for yourself now or he will push you around forever. You are the mother- it is YOUR choice, not his. He has no room to tell you anything.

Answer 10

if you all are to be married, then it is a catholic LAW that the baby is to be baptized as a catholic, if you wish to show him "papers" pick up a copy of the catachism. you can take him to a nondinominational church all you want. Id recomend against it as it would confuse the poor fella