I have been caring for my 3 year old niece for a year because her mother neglected her and let her boyfriends abuse her. No her mom claims to be a changed woman, but I don't know. She flew up yesterday with her new man and my niece HID from her when she heard her voice and she does this to know one else. We went out to lunch and my sister and her boyfriend were very lovey dovey and kept on saying very nasty things that a 3 year old shouldn't be hearing. I secretly recorded them with my cell-phone because I was really suspicous of her. My sister is staying in a hotel with her boyfriend until we meet in court on Saturday. Can I use this evidence to prove that she is still too wrapped around her boyfriend and that her daughter is still scared of her? Or is this useless?
2007-11-05 09:53:07 · 8 answers · asked by Jasmine 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adoption
She has been quiet as a church mouse since my niece was taken away she just started this 2 weeks ago.
2007-11-05 10:05:21 · update #1
I just want her to be safe because of her age and how clingy and dependent she is. For a few months after she came to me she was very shy and wouldn't talk to anyone but me. But now she plays with my kids and my fiance's kids and is in a wonderfull daycare where she has made so many friends. She seems so happy!
2007-11-05 10:09:22 · update #2
No, I do not think recording someone with out their consent is legal. Try it though. And
I would try to find someone who overheard their remarks. That would be better.
Has her mom tried to get in touch with your niece within the last year?
Month? or did she just decide that she wants her back and come up for the court
date?
It is not useless when a child is concerned, you have your doubts about the mom and
if she has not proven herself a fit mother, you should bring it up in court or with your lawyer. The more people you can get on your side that know what is going on, the better for the child.
2007-11-05 10:01:16 · answer #1 · answered by Blessed 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I know your intentions are good, but I don't think that you will be able to use it as evidence and they will most likely throw it out in court.
http://www.callcorder.com/phone-recording-law-america.htm
It doesn't matter if her mother states that she is a "changed woman". She needs to prove it. If DCF is involved....then there are things set up for her to do etc etc and if she has not completed them, and it has already been a year...then you won't really need the tape anyway because she will prove it to the court herself.
And if she is just staying in a hotel, then that will not be in her favor either. So even though you will most likely not be able to use that recording legally in court, it seems that your sister will prove to the judge herself that she is still wrapped around her boyfriend and not committed to her daughter at this time. The judge might ask to come up with a concurrent plan, which means that if mom is not able to show that she has improved and can take care of her child, then what the 2nd plan is for her daughter. This will hopefully mean that you would be willing to adopt if need be.
Hope this helps and good luck!
2007-11-05 13:16:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know that they'd take that as evidence, but they will take into account her past actions, and the way her daughter reacts to her. It'll probably start out with supervised visitation from the mother to make sure they are interacting with her in a positive manner. Then from there, there will be reassessments and if everything is going okay, it'll go on to non-supervised visits.
Right now, you just need to be honest with the judge on what you see and what you hear, and how the daughter reacts. That's all you really can do.
2007-11-05 09:58:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I am going through something similar except it is my nephew and he is 3. Isn't it terrible and hard? My brother and sister-n-law are claiming they are trying to change but I don't think so. I am so worried about my nephew going back to them. They are so dumb. Oh, I could tell you horrifying stories all day long. I am just doing the best I can with the heartbreaking situation. I will always be there for my nephew. I love him soooo much, my god. I don't think that you can use the cell phone as evidence but I am not a lawyer or anything so I really don't know. GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND GOD BLESS!
2007-11-05 10:05:55 · answer #4 · answered by xoxo 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
That is so sad! I think you need to try to act on this quickly. I'd take it to a social worker/CPS & let them hear it, who might be able to get it in front of a judge. If you privately recorded them, it's not admissable in court.
Bless you for what you've done & are doing & good luck (this goes to you too Chrissy, I admire both of you).
2007-11-05 10:10:50 · answer #5 · answered by noodlesmycat 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I would try anything to protect a 3 year old from a woman like that. It is obvious that she is not ready for her child if she can't talk properly in front of her. Poor baby, hiding from her. OHHHH, that makes me mad. Try it if you can and see if it works. I will pray for you and your niece, GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS
2007-11-05 09:59:40 · answer #6 · answered by Ivan and Marko's momma 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
i am agreeing with you but in the law of minnesota ; it is illegal for both parties to NOT know they are being recorded...if it was just you talking to her it wouldn't be illegal because you knew it was going.. but to record the both of them... it is... unless a police officer tapped their phone or someing
2007-11-05 12:59:12 · answer #7 · answered by murr 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do everything you can to protect that poor little girl! she deserves better than that!
2007-11-05 10:00:32 · answer #8 · answered by Rita 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋