My boyfriend with whom I have been together with for just over three months is going away for a month with his female friend to Argentina for traveling. She is just a friend but not a very close one. They just had the same idea in their minds and decided to go together long ago.
The trip was spoken of long before our relationship and a girl pre booked a flight already. Now he needs to arrange his flight. Some time ago he asked if it is fine with me and obviously I didn’t see anything wrong at first. But now I just do not think it is ok anymore, I suddenly started feeling that I might loose him a I am so much in love with him.
He also suggested me going with them but I cannot afford it now as I am in the process of changing my job. I just feel so silly, afraid and bad and I now I can’t ask him not to go.
Just can’t understand why I am feeling like that…. I do not have any right to change his plans, am I? I certainly wouldn’t want him to stop me from going anywhere. Wh do u think?
2007-11-05 09:11:07 · 10 answers · asked by Sandy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I see where your hesitation lies. A month is a really, really long time. I wouldn't worry about him leaving you for this girl or anything like that; it's been planned since before you were dating, they're just friends, you knew about it ahead of time. But this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for him; don't you want him to experience that? A month is going to be hard, but he'll have a lot of things to share with you when he gets back, and he can keep in touch with you while he's gone. (Buy him an international calling card as a going away gift.) You'll be able to focus on finding a new job and making more money so the next time you can go along.
I would be heartbroken if my boyfriend left for a month, with another person or not, so I can relate to you feeling like that. But don't let jealousy cloud your judgment; you'll miss him but he'll be back.
2007-11-05 09:19:25 · answer #1 · answered by xK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, since you feel that you wouldn't like to be stopped doing what you want, then obviously you have no right to prevent him doing what he wants.
You can still tell him how you feel and let him make his mind, but sometimes, it's true, people have to follow their destiny.
I understand your fears.
A woman and a man travelling together in difficult conditions, are bound to get closer, even if they were not at the beginning. They will be sharing experiences where they'll get to know more about each other, and they'll need to get on as they'll only have each other to rely on.
So, something may develop, or may not.
They may become best of friends.
They may not be able to stand each other after spending so much time together.
They may develop more than friendship.
So, it's a risk.
Now, since it's only been 3 months that you've been together, maybe you don't feel that you have the right to stop his plans.
But, he's been asking you.
Well, a month is a long time, but then, when he comes back, you'll know for sure whether he wants you and only you!
Good luck.x
2007-11-05 09:21:38 · answer #2 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it all depends on what type of trip it is. I can see if it's a business trip then that would be fine. But a month is to long be around somebody plus on top of that they both are the opposite sex. If you feel that your man can go a whole month without sex then I guess it will be o.k. Plus this will be a test for you both because you'll only been dating for 3 months. This might bring you to closer. Like you said you wouldn't want him to tell you can't go no where. So I would put this in the lord's hands.
2007-11-05 09:24:40 · answer #3 · answered by shadow2400 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you could ask yourself this question - how do you think he would react if you asked him to stay?
The trip was planned prior to him meeting you and if its something he always wanted to do he might end up resenting you. You should speak to him and let him know your concerns - if he loves you as much as you love him he should be able to put your mind at rest. A month isn't a long time to wait for his return and with today's technology you should be able to keep in touch almost daily!! What you're feeling is normal and you're only human but if you love him like you say you do you should let him go.
2007-11-05 09:24:03 · answer #4 · answered by ac 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's natural to feel the way you do but you just have to trust him. He'll think you're a cool girlfriend if you do, and imagine how happy you'll be to see him after a month apart!
Plus, if he does leave you for this girl or whatever, it just means he wasn't the right guy for you and he'd leave eventually. You can't prevent destiny, after all. It would be better if it happened earlier on in the relationship rather than later.
so just have faith and let him go!
2007-11-05 09:19:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all you're being a splash paranoid. that's widely used, based in the journey that your boyfriend is clever or not he might have reported "i like YOU" by using fact he knew you have been being paranoid approximately giving him her quantity and had to reassure you. For all you already know he desires to communicate to her approximately you, perchance he's thinking taking your relationship better yet desires advice and doesnt wanna get rejected. Who greater constructive to ask than a girl you communicate in self assurance to? yet likely if he grew to become into "friends" with Becky first earlier he met then you it grew to become into "intimate friendship" of a few style. Dont supply him the quantity and be a ***** LOL!!!
2016-10-01 22:55:22 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i will start by saying ur relationship is i very high risk zone right now. so just hope (and if u r a christian praya) that he comes back to u in one piece. i mean because if a sudden bit of romance falls between they will have sex . pasionate sex. thenafter that they will be like omg gosh we are friends what happened. then they will try to hide it from you. now you have to hope again that they get over it. because if they dont one day he will say something mean to her and she will go r u trying to say i am not as good. did u not like what happen in europe what ever. now he is on blast. he is forced to say yea. then u are really at risk now. u could email me to give you more info on how you can avoid all this from happening
2007-11-05 10:27:44 · answer #7 · answered by snowman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately honey he had a life before he met you ...but you're in his life now. Believe me he'll love you more if you let him have his plans that he made before he met you. Encourage him, tell him it's really exciting - if you act clingy after just 3 months it's more likely to push him farther into someone else's arms. I know it's hard, but loving somenone isn't always easy .
2007-11-05 09:19:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should let him go and be happy for him because he's probably going to have the most fantastic sex he's ever had in his life with her.
After all that's what we all want.
He's a man.
He's going to get drunk.
He's going to have a good time.
Then he's going to tell you about it afterwards that it was a mistake, that he's sorry, etc. etc.
Nevermind if you trust him...can he trust himself? Plus he might think if you let him go that you weren't that in to him....he might even throw that in your face one day.
2007-11-05 09:43:25 · answer #9 · answered by mellow yellow 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would tell him your thoughts, explain to him exactly what you have posted above about your fears.This relationship will not last if there is no trust between you. Relationships are also about talking through issues and coming to a realistic compromise.
2007-11-05 09:20:25 · answer #10 · answered by the_windz_of_change 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋