My best friend has had something going on with this guy for ages, and they started dating three years ago. We're 19 and he broke up with her earlier this year. He and I are also best friends. I hit on him when they were thinking about getting together in the first place, and because him and I are so close she's had trust issues about us ever since.
My boyfriend broke up with me earlier this year and my best friend has just started seeing someone else. I know I want to end up with my ex boyfriend. When I've tried to raise the fact I want to be with my best friend's ex with her, she gets really angry and upset. She has said now that if I really want to be with him, then I should do it, but that she doesn't want to be friends with me anymore. This makes me really angry because I don't think she has the right to feel that way now that she is seeing someone else. I haven't had much luck with boys lately, this could be my chance to move on. What do you think I should do?
2007-11-05 08:32:53 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
They dated for 3 years? That's a lot of history to get involved in. If I had that much history with a guy and he broke up with me, I would be upset if my best friend started dating him. Friends don't do that. I couldn't be around them because I would know things about him, imagine him doing things with her, and we could never get together as a group.
No, you should seek out someone else. Be friends with this guy, but don't take it beyond that. It's disrespectful, and you'll most certainly lose your best friend because of it.
2007-11-05 08:39:39 · answer #1 · answered by xK 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Try and look at this the other way around. If it was your ex. You wouldn't want her to be with him either.
He broke up with her, and hurt her feelings very badly.
By wanting to be with him, you pretend that her feelings don't matter.
In a friendship, that is the worst thing to do, discard what the friend is feeling.
If your feelings for this boy (the ex) are real. Give her time to get over this relationship (Even if she is in a new one right now, it takes time to get over these things!!). And see were you guys are then.
My advice, stick with your best girlfriend right now, she needs you. As for the boy, give it time, you'll know what to do, in time. But do not rush things, or you could end up loosing both.
2007-11-05 08:41:15 · answer #2 · answered by lovelyglamour 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I found out a good friend of mine started dating my ex. When we broke up, she broke my heart and my friend knew how much I cared for her and did it anyway. Since he clearly has no regard for how I feel, I have not spoken to him again and never will. That is not a "friend". Now, if he had come to me and asked if I would be ok with him dating her, I would have respected him a lot more, and it would have strengthened our friendship. I think you should make another communication about this to your friend. Let her know that your friendship means more than this potential relationship so you will not do anything to jeopardize it, but you mean her no harm and would really like the opportunity to date him since they obviously are finished anyway. If she says no, respect that and don't cross the line. If you do cross the line, you aren't much of a friend because you clearly don't care much about your friend's feelings, just like my Friend did not care about me and my feelings. Breaking up hurts and your friend obviously cared for this guy. Don't hurt her like he did....
2007-11-05 08:49:14 · answer #3 · answered by Clay C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I see what she means. Together for that long and he broke up with her. I'd be pissed. I'd say go for it, but the fact that he broke up with her means she didnt want to end the relationship. So she might still have feels for this guy. But on the other hand she is your friend and she should want you to be happy. Maybe she is still heart broken. I would talk to her about and tell her everything and all, but she is your friend and would you really let a guy ruin your friendship?
2007-11-05 08:40:28 · answer #4 · answered by katelyndanielle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a bad idea to date someone's ex. Chances are it won't work out in the end anyway. So then you've lost a boyfriend and a friend. Keep your friendship and find someone else.
2007-11-05 08:36:26 · answer #5 · answered by meandmike 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You still want to end up with your ex? Then what are you gonna do with this guy just use him. I'm 30 yrs old and had two best friends and we made a pact to never date the others ex's and one married mine and I dated two of the others. I really wish we would have kept the pact it would have saved some trouble! How good of friends are you with her?
2007-11-05 08:38:01 · answer #6 · answered by Frog72 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
attempt and look at this any incorrect way around. If it grew to become into your ex. you does no longer prefer her to be with him the two. He broke up together with her, and harm her emotions very badly. by wanting to be with him, you fake that her emotions don't count number. In a friendship, this is the worst element to do, discard what the chum is feeling. in the experience that your emotions for this boy (the ex) are actual. provide her time to recover from this relationship (despite if she is in a clean one precise now, it takes time to recover from those issues!!). and notice have been you adult males are then. My advice, stick jointly with your superb lady chum precise now, she desires you. As for the boy, provide it time, you will understand what to do, in time. yet do no longer rush issues, or you are able to desire to wind up loosing the two.
2016-10-03 10:18:17 · answer #7 · answered by doloris 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope you are reading the answers carefully. As everyone else said, don't date him, out of loyalty for your friend. It's just not right. Is this guy worth losing your best friend over?
2007-11-05 08:45:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be a better friend. Girls don't mess with their friend's ex-boyfriends. It's too complicated. You are the one being selfish and unreasonable. You need to apologize to your friend and keep your hands off her ex.
2007-11-05 08:38:54 · answer #9 · answered by butrcupps 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Realize that you are the one being selfish.
Admit that this guy is more important than your friendship. Lose the friend..date the guy..have the guy dump you and lose him then grow up and move on with your life.
enjoy being 19!
2007-11-05 08:37:46 · answer #10 · answered by foxinsox 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋