A little over a year ago.. i FINALLY found the guy of my dreams! He is absolutely absolutely the best thing that has ever happened to me and even over a year later every week just look at each other and say "how on earth did we get so lucky?!"- its like we never left that honeymoon stage.
Well.. im getting "older" ( i know i know.. 24 is NOT old haha.. but i finally feel like an adult. He just turned 23.. so hes a little younger.
Anyways.. my point is... i suddenly have wedding fever! I seriously CANT get married fast enough lol! Ive always been the girl who dreams about her wedding.. but now its like.. i want it to happen SOON!
We talk about marriage all the time.. but im always scared to flat out ask him "so .. how soon are you thinking"- i dont want him to feel liek im rushing him you know?
Any girls ever feel like this? Am i crazy lol? Should i approach the subject or just sit back and enjoy this great relationship?
2007-11-05 08:24:14 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Girls.. when you found "the one"- did you feel like this? Did you sit back and wait for the propoasl or actively seek it?
2007-11-05 08:27:07 · update #1
It's only been a year... there's no need to rush it. :) Believe me, I can relate... my husband and I got engaged at 1 year 8 months, and I'd been dying to marry him for what seemed like ages by the time he proposed. However, it's really a good idea to wait at least a year and a half before getting engaged. Also, keep in mind... he's only going to propose once,and then you'll have the rest of your life to be married to him. Just try not to obsess, and enjoy this exciting time in your life!
2007-11-05 08:30:52 · answer #1 · answered by greeneyes_bjb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit back and enjoy the relationship. Honestly, if marriage is in the future then it will come at a time when you are both ready to take that leap.
My (now) husband and I dated 3 yrs before a proposal and we were both older than you when we started dating, never mind when the proposal came. Trust me, I was anxious to find out if we were on the same page with our future plans. But when he proposed, it was amazing - truly the BEST surprise of my life. And we had a nearly 2 yr engagement and everything was amazing. We just married in Sept. and I feel so great knowing this is what we BOTH wanted and I never once pressured him into anything.
Honestly, you don't want to rush things. I have friends that put some pressure on their boyfriend's and it never turned out well. Men will marry when they are ready. If you push them too early, you may spend your whole engagement wondering if it was really what he wanted to do. Let it happen naturally and it'll be all the more special. You have plenty of time.
Also, as a previous post mentioned - the first year is really just a time of discovery. You don't realize it until you are with someone for a few years that there are A LOT of things you don't know about your significant other in the first year or two. I've been with my husband for 5 yrs now and there are things I learned about him in the last couple of years (traits, etc) that I didn't know about in the first year or two of dating. It's amazing how much you learn after that "honeymoon" dating phase is over. :) The good, the bad and everything in between! And if you're still with him after all of that, then that's a fabulous sign!
Someone once said, "You shouldn't marry someone until you have seen them with the flu. Once you've seen them hovering over the toilet, with a 102 degree fever, pale and sick as a dog - and you still love them, then you know you can marry them!" :o)
2007-11-05 08:57:43 · answer #2 · answered by PT&L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm maybe not an expert on how to solve this but I'll try... I'm 26 (and so is my guy), we've been together for 3 years now and we're very happy. We recently bought our first house together even! I'm very happy but now I feel like marriage is next and he's in no hurry (he was married once before), so I have marriage fever a bit myself.
Communication is the most important thing in a relationship, it's so true!! So, I know I just need to talk to my guy about it. You should do the same; I don't know if a year is long enough to be sure, honestly, so maybe cool it for a while... but, do talk to your guy & maybe talk about a timeline, like say we'll talk it over again in 6 months. If you just let him know how you feel that might give him confidence to ask.
2007-11-05 08:38:15 · answer #3 · answered by Snugs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh girl been there done that! You think it was bad that you were 24? I WAS 20!!! I wanted to get married SO BAD. He is the love of my life. We are perfect for each other. I finally just said "so when are we going to get married?". And as it turns out, he proposed two days later. HA! He just wanted to make sure I was as ready as he was! The way I figure it, if you are in love and ready, then do it! You're not crazy at all. Yes enjoy the relationship, but ask him when he is thinking of asking and all that. Good luck to you and congrats to finding the one! Its an amazing feeling isn't it!?!
2007-11-05 09:06:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ha...I think almost every girl can relate to this! I certainly had wedding fever. My husband and I were together for 5 years before getting married this past July (we were waiting for him to finish school). I wouldn't push the issue!! Don't get me wrong. You can casually bring it up in conversation and "talk" about marriage and try to pick his brain. But don't make it obvious that it's all you think about. You two will be together forever so waiting until the time is perfect makes it all worthwhile. Take your time...enjoy each other and being together. When the time is right for both of you...bask in it!! But don't risk anything by making him feel uncomfortable!! Good luck!
2007-11-05 10:36:50 · answer #5 · answered by crazy_monkey_33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I knew my fiance was 'the one' right away.
We've been dating 2 and 1/2 years now and I got the fever (I'm 32 and he's 35 - - so we've both been waiting a while longer than you) a short time ago.
It just hit me that I really want to marry him and that I'd really like to be married before I hit 35. I don't know what it is about that age, but being a single 35 year-old bugged me for some reason.
All of our families have asked about it but up until a few months ago I was very easygoing about it and very "we will when we're ready".
Then I got a little more aggressive - - bringing up marriage, talking about it, talking about why it was important to me,etc.
I think at your age and this early stage in your relationship you should keep yourself a bit in check. Its ok to inquire when he talks about it, but don't go overboard or be so pushy that you frighten him. Maybe talk about what HE would like and say things like "how long do you think it would take us to save up for that".
2007-11-05 09:01:33 · answer #6 · answered by nova_queen_28 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was just like you!!
My now husband and i bought our house 1 month before our 1 yr anny and after that i was soooo having marriage fever. We didnt get engaged until we were together for 1 yr, 5 months!
I had NO idea my purposal was coming but it was amazing and we were married 6 months later.
Now here was are 6 months married and trying for a baby!
Whatever you do...do NOT rush him because it will only make him take longer to ask you but there is nothing wrong with finding out if he wants to get married. I told my husband when we first met that after 2 yrs of being together we weren't engaged or married then we would decide then if it was something worth continuing and then BAM i was getting married on my 2 yr anny of being with him!
There is nothing wrong with wanting to marry the one you love....being married is amazing and I just wish we would of gotten married sooner!
2007-11-05 08:42:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
in my opinion, I evaluate marriage a in many circumstances old enterprise - to me it has no fee. Love is something else, and in case you're pleased with a guy, the massive exchange is bearing his infants and procuring a house jointly... construction a existence jointly, and turning out to be as a pair. i'm no longer religious, so the godly union isn't a controversy for me. And on condition that fifty% of marriages dissolves, why upload insult to soreness and rigidity human beings to bypass by a divorce, fattening our attorneys and slowing down the justice device??? this is going to likely be a 5 years settlement, renewable on the tip upon difficulty-unfastened settlement.... so in case you renew, you throw a clean occasion, in case you do no longer, no-one has the soreness and betrayal. in case you do get married, do merely no longer overlook the marriage settlement... think of a ways interior the destiny, to stay away from being caught interior the present.
2016-10-03 10:17:28 · answer #8 · answered by doloris 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im 22 im getting married. my fiance is the same age. im like you. i've had marriage fever since i was born ( now i've moved on to baby fever)
anyways, i knew my boyfriend was the one on our first date and so did he. ever since then marriage has been a daily topic. he wanted to move in with me so i told him i need to be at least engaged. also, everytime we were at a store or a mall,i would go up to the rings and say""' ohhhhhh, i love THAT ONE"""
he got the point. we have been dating for 3 years and will be married a week before our 4th anniversary.
good luck. be clear and up front. if he really loves you and wants to marry you, he wouldnt care when.
also, i recently asked my fiance if i pushed him to proposing early and if he has doubts and he said no. he said if he wasnt ready, he would nevee had done it.
2007-11-05 08:41:34 · answer #9 · answered by bar22bie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't ask him for a timetable. this WILL put unnecessary pressure on him. now, from a sociological perspective, it is typical to still be in the "honeymoon" phase for up to 2 yrs. this is referred to as the social contract. it is the idea that in the beginning of a relationship (for up to 2 yrs) we are trying to woo and impress the other person and to make them want to stay in the relationship. so, you shouldn't base this initial time period on your fitness as a couple.
i think most women start to want to settle down and get married. you are just starting to come into your own and feel like an adult, so you naturally feel that you should make the next adult step. that's not unusual. i think that your man (like all men) propose when THEY are ready. so, either you will suggest a timetable and he will feel pressured/smothered and distance himself or he will buckle under the pressure and propose. both of these situations are bad, because he might not be ready. you should want you to both be anxious and ready to marry.
get financially prepared for marriage, consider taking pre-marital counseling classes through your church or other community center, and start thinking about the practical issues surrounding marriage (paying rent/mortgage, paying for health insurance, life insurance, car payments, bills, etc), not just the romance of it all.
2007-11-05 08:44:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋