I am 20 and in a relationship with a guy 5 years older than me. I live with my parents right now and my dad is being very controlling. He never talke to my boyfreind and doesn't even know him. He forbids me to see him and when I do attempt to see him my dad drives by spying on me and seeing what I am doing. I have to constantly lie to my dad and tell him I do not see him and when he does catch me he turns all my siblings and mom against me. I also recently found out that when I call my boyfriend he records the conversations and listens to what we talk about. I am very much in love with the guy I am with and at the same time my dad tells me I need to choose between him and my family. He is making my life very difficult because I don't want to dissappoint my dad either. What can be done so that I can not lose my family and be with my boyfriend? No talking to him doesn't work either, I have tried that and it just irritates him more. I appreciate any and all advice. Thank you
2007-11-05 08:20:47 · 17 answers · asked by Ann K 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i am in the exact same boat as you and i know it can be very difficult. you need to be strong, it you really love this guy then believe in him and your relationship and see if it has a possibility of working out
why doesnt your dad like him? is there anyone in your family who you can have on your side? i know you said talking to him wont help but ask him what does he want from you or what does he expect...if hes anything like my dad then basically the only thing that will make him happy is if you break up with him. no compromise. u just have to ask yourself, is this guy worth it? no matter what you do ur dad will always be there for you because you are his daughter
dont make any rash decision, make sure if u decide to move out that you do it in the right frame of mind and that you can afford it financially.
it takes time, trust me, me and my bf have been together 6 months and my dad is still pressuring me to dump him and making it very difficult to date him
maybe eventually he will see that you two really care for each other and he will ease up
in the meantime, stay strong and keep fighting if its worth fighting for ...
2007-11-07 09:34:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, when you are under Dad;s house, he does have some obligation to still be your protector. Your Dad loves you and only wants what best and maybe in his eyes, a guy that is 5 years older isn't what is best for you. In order to keep both men happy, you have to take this slow.........Communicate with your family how you feel about this guy and you appreciate their concern. If they guy has not ever done anything wrong to your family, have him over for dinner if that can happen so he can meet the family and really get to know them. You have to be the peace keeper here. Make sure that your commuicating does not turn into arguing because that will just make things worse.
2007-11-05 08:31:55 · answer #2 · answered by Swine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, u shouldnt need to lie to your dad. I know what it's like to have controlling parents. But try sitting down and talking to your dad and telling him how you feel. If that doesn't help, u will have 2 respect his wishes until he lightens up.
2007-11-05 08:26:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ann K - You are 20 years old. It's time to get out from under your fathers thumb and get your own place. Unfortunately, when you are living under someone elses roof, you must abide by their rules. I was 18 when I moved out of my fathers house, mostly because I was paying him rent, and he was still telling me when I could come and go.
Find an apartment and move out.
2007-11-05 08:26:59 · answer #4 · answered by sleepingliv 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If i were you i would sit down with you your dad and your boyfriend and have a talk let your dad and boyfriend get to know each other and let them hang out a little . then maybe your dad will understand that your boyfriend is a reasonable guy.
2007-11-05 08:25:32 · answer #5 · answered by Bam 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Move out. I'm sorry, but as long as you're living in his house, he's going to be all crazy over-protective. Get a place with your boyfriend or a close friend of yours. Or even a sibling of an age to move out. Try to talk to him once you're removed from him.
2007-11-05 08:23:57 · answer #6 · answered by gilgamesh 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
what is wrong with your boyfriend ( in your dad's eyes ) you didn't say....
move out... you are plenty old enough to either live on campus if you are still in college or if not in college you have plenty of time for a full time job...
your dad is border line out of control and until you secure your own living quarters, you are going to have to put up with what ever he dishes out....
2007-11-05 08:30:27 · answer #7 · answered by Jeanette 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a big problem!!!Ok first you should ask your dad if he would like to meet him.And ask some of your friends and family member,but not your dad.Then tell your dad your going to your friend house and instead go to your boyfriends house.Is he in your school,if so try to spend as much time as possilbe!
2007-11-05 08:29:12 · answer #8 · answered by Sara 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
By lying to your father and seeing this boy behind his back you are proving to him that you are immature and not ready for a committed relationship. You either need to - abide by your father's wishes, are get a place of your own and stand on your won two feet.
2007-11-05 08:25:37 · answer #9 · answered by keezy 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
tell him " Dad, I am 20 yrs old! I'm not a kid anymore and you don't have the right to say who I can and cannot see. You can't keep recording my conversations." Hopefully he will listen.
2007-11-05 08:25:05 · answer #10 · answered by Hes just a boy & Im just a girl 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋