Answer: Because they arrrrrrrrrr!
2007-11-05 08:17:39 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."
The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that befo re."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."
"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird sh!t !"
"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."
2007-11-05 09:18:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A young man is captured by pirates and is persuaded to join the crew rather than walk the plank. After a few weeks at sea the captain speaks to the man and asks him how he is getting on. The man replies that on the whole he is enjoying things - the rum-soaked drinking binges, the plundering, etc - but there was one thing missing.
"What's that?" asks the captain.
"Well, there are no women" replies the man.
"Arrr" says the captain "Follow me!" The man follows the captain to what appears to be a barrel, on top of the barrel stands a coconut with a face drawn on and a few strands of wispy straw for hair. On the barrel is a crude outline of a woman's body and between the legs is a bung hole. "We calls her Carmen," says the captain, "and you may take her as you will". The man explains that he was unlikely to make use of her and goes on his way.
However, as the months go by with no respite, Carmen appears more and more attractive to the young man. Finally he can resist her no longer and the man has his wicked way with Carmen the rum barrel. To his amazement the experience is far more satisfying than he could ever have imagined!
The next day the captain greets him again. "How did you get on with Carmen then, lad?" he asks eagerly. The man replies "Rather better than I thought... actually, it was rather good!"
"Good," says the captain, a great beaming smile splitting his black-bearded face. "It's your turn in the barrel tomorrow!"
2007-11-05 08:28:32 · answer #2 · answered by daffydd max 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
0 - 2 we are going to do them even although we are away. Ferguson has purely signed 2 postmen ! He needed new strikers up-front....... to no longer point out a unfastened furnish of brown envelopes !
2016-11-10 09:06:33 · answer #3 · answered by zeh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Silly but funny! 10!
2007-11-05 11:17:42 · answer #4 · answered by cats 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was good Bruce, there are some plonkers on here bjparker is one
2007-11-05 10:46:23 · answer #5 · answered by BRIAN M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh! Mr Forsythe, another old joke!
2007-11-05 10:42:04 · answer #6 · answered by Greybeard 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's the kind of joke my three year old would tell me.
2007-11-05 08:22:05 · answer #7 · answered by top_mumsy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ha ha ha funny
thanks for a laugh
10/10
2007-11-05 08:37:51 · answer #8 · answered by Luck dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this was terrible...1/10...im sorry, not even the least bit funny
2007-11-05 11:01:02 · answer #9 · answered by DBL-G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good one very simple but made me laugh star for you
2007-11-05 08:24:40 · answer #10 · answered by bazookakid381 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋