My friend keeps going on about how she feels pathetic still being a virgin at 18.I've been reassuring her that she has nothing to worry about and that the time will come but she won't listen!Recently shes been talking about just doing it with some randomer to get it over with!I think she'd be making a huge mistake!!
I'm 19 and only recently lost mine to the guy I love and it was perfect.This is how I know the importance of waiting for the right guy!
I'm so afraid she'll do something stupid that shes going to regret!I don't know what to say or do!
How can I convince her to hold on?
I used to feel like she does now until I met my bf and he showed me what real love is!He was so gentle and the first time with him was really special!
If she does lose it to some guy she picks up she'll be robbing herself of a special first time!!
I don't want that for her!
I just want her to see that if she waits until she meets a really great guy that loves her it'll be perfect for her!
2007-11-05 08:07:23 · 36 answers · asked by Pixie-Flames 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would say remind her that her virginity isn't something that she can ever get back once it is gone.
Also, remind her of all the diseases that are out there, and that the majority of people that have them don't even know and show no effects.
Who cares how old she is, who is she trying to keep up with??
Tell her that it is okay to be an individual and she should wait to do it when she really wants to not when she is just trying to get it over with.
I hope this helps!!
2007-11-05 08:11:47 · answer #1 · answered by Jae Rae 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, this is rather difficult for you to express to her why she should wait, it might help if she understands that (as you mentioned) this is a very special gift that should not be given away at random.
If she has ever had regrets in the past, then she should know that those would pale compared to just giving up virginity to the next passer-by.
Aside from that, there is also the fear-factor:
1. She could get pregnant - and you can assure her that the guy certainly isn't going to stick around to play the daddy-role.
2. She could get a sexually-transmitted disease which she might have for the rest of her life.
3. the random guy could turn out to be a real psycho and a threat to her life.
Yes...sex is great.
I'm certainly not going to lie about that fact.
But it is absolutely wonderful to have sex with someone you care about and who cares about you.
2007-11-05 08:15:59 · answer #2 · answered by docscholl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was like your friend, ready to have sex with no one to do it with. Then college happened. This is when most people start getting action more regularly. However, I want to recognize that you don't have to wait to be in love for your first time. you just have to emotionally mature enough to handle things. I've found (being much older than 18 now) that the reason sex at 18 is better with people you "love" is b/c that's what emotionally you can handle. You can't handle sleeping with someone, and then seeing him with another girl the next weekend. In fact, most grown ups can't either. Thats why having sex only with people you are in a relationship is emotionally safer (generally). Your friend needs to talk to someone older, someone who's had sex in and out of relationships. Tell you friend she could have sex with some random, but would she be able to handle the way some random would treat her afterward? sex can be special, and it can be boring. the important thing is to do what feels right to you, and that usually means being safe, physically and emotionally...and that usually happens most often at 18 with a boyfriend.
2007-11-05 08:17:53 · answer #3 · answered by squeeker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard for young girls to not feel the pressure to be "like everyone else". But the truth is everyone is different and experience things at a different age. You are right to encourage her to wait for love. Once you have lost your virginity, you can never get it back. Innocense is so precious. She needs to realize that there are many, many people out there who are still virgins in there 20's and sometimes 30's. It is nothing to be ashamed about.
If she does it before she has found that person that she wants to share her life with she will regret it, deeply. Because once she does find that person, she will be so glad that she saved herself for only them.
Please share all of our responses with her so she can see how many people agree what you have told her.
2007-11-05 08:16:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her seriously sex is not a joke make sure you tell her that once its gone its gone so she wants to wait for the right guy and time to make it special.Besides being a virgin is not a crime she should feel proud of herself now in days people are having sex with random people and they end up getting hurt,aids, or pregnant so warned her as much as you can.
2007-11-05 08:16:57 · answer #5 · answered by Angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah your friend is being stupid, if she does lose it to some random guy she will regret it for the rest of her life. Your first stays with you forever and if its a bad experience it could affect other relationships she may have. That said everyone has to make their own mistakes so you can only advise her if she wont listen you'll just have to let her be.
2007-11-05 08:14:06 · answer #6 · answered by phunkydiva 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell her what you just told us, if you haven't already. I'd also remind her that she can't get it back once she's lost it! Let her know that there are plenty of 18-year-olds and older who haven't lost their virginity yet either! I'm 18 and am still waiting for the "right" guy, it might help to remind her there are others in the same boat.
2007-11-05 08:45:46 · answer #7 · answered by the_happy_green_fish 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well ask her what if something goes wrong like, pregnancy and/or STDs...wouldn't she want to know who's she dealing with ahead of time? maybe bring out the possibilities of things that can go wrong and if she at least waits for someone she shares a mutual love for then they could work thru these problems together....and losing her virginity to some random guy wouldn't be in vain!
2007-11-05 08:15:28 · answer #8 · answered by KodeNmKidzNxtDoor 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she is going to do it tell her to make sure that she uses protection and is on the pill. It only takes once to get pregnant. Impress upon her the need to avoid getting STD's as they are very real. She is curious. I lost my virginity at 18 and don't feel bad about it. Everyone is different. Just make sure she is careful if she is going to go through with it. She is an adult and can make her own decisions despite what you, a good friend, is telling her.
2007-11-05 08:12:07 · answer #9 · answered by bonstermonster20 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow...
Why do young people have to grow up so fast? There is an entire life out there waiting to be lived. Sex is a great part of it, but she is rushing things.
If she chooses the wrong partner, they may hurt her physically by not trying to be careful. Worse, she could get herpes, or HIV or full-blown AIDS, couldn't she?
As her friend, all you can do is support her, and try to guide her. I was 2 months shy of 19 myself, and I was quite pleased with myself for that.
To be chaste is not as big a deal as it was 25 years ago, but it is important to make clear rational decisions, and not just jump into something as intimate as sex with any Tom, Dick, or Harry...
She should wait for someone she cares about... I wish I could tell you how to help her.
2007-11-05 08:13:53 · answer #10 · answered by Kathryn P 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋