I am christian and my boyfriend is athiest and I want to have a wedding. But I dont want to make him upset by taking about it.
2007-11-05 08:03:44 · 22 answers · asked by bloody tear 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
No you're not denying your faith..what you believe in is between you and god. Nobody else! And what you choose is just so that things go smoothly but what you should think about is what are your kids going to believe in. Because having two faiths can be very complicated especially when it comes down to what ur kids are going to believe in.
2007-11-05 08:09:45 · answer #1 · answered by Elvia C 1 · 5⤊ 2⤋
We atheists have weddings too. :-) You can have a nice non-religious ceremony that celebrates your love and commitment for each other, but leaves out any references to religion. You can have your wedding in a venue besides a church and still have a lovely ceremony.
Presumably you two have discussed the religion issue enough to reach a good level of compromise. HAving a non-religious ceremony will not deny your faith. Leaving religion out of the ceremony simply removes something that could possibly divide people rather than bring them together to celebrate your marriage. You can honor your faith by wearing a cross pendant or something like that if you want. That would be nice.
Good luck.
I should say, for the record, that you and your partner should probably do some pre-marital counseling to be sure that you can handle your religious differences. As an atheist, I know I couldn't marry anyone who thought I deserved to spend eternity in Hell. And as a Christian, you need to be sure that your partner is respectful of your beliefs although he does not share them. You also need to have serious conversations about these things and make sure that you're compatible. If you're afraid of upsetting him simply by bring up the subject, you need to think long and hard about whether you two are right for each other.
2007-11-05 17:09:41 · answer #2 · answered by SE 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why are you marrying an athiest? You will have trouble after you have children because he will probably be against you bringing up the children with organized religion. If I were you, I would not compromise my faith for someone who doesn't believe in a higher power. Tell him that you want a religious ceremony, maybe by a minister, but not in a church. This is a compromise enough. Why are you worried about upsetting him, when you are so stressed out over this and he couldn't care less. Tell him you want a minister to preside over your ceremony and that is it!
2007-11-05 16:17:54 · answer #3 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends. Something more you should be concerned with - more than just the ceremony - is what your lives will be like together in regard to faith once you are married, and especially if you plan to have children.
I wanted to have a husband and a family to be of the same faith as me, so that's why I chose a husband carefully - of similar background, values and morals - so our future would be harmonious, because those were important things for me.
You have to think of - how will you be able to handle not celebrating Christmas, Easter, other holy days? Not being with your family for those events, because your husband isn't a believer? How do you want your children raised? Does he promote abortion? There are MANY things you and he have to get straight way before you get married!
2007-11-06 06:52:50 · answer #4 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel like you would be giving something up by having a non-religious ceremony, then you should rethink the marriage. Religion is a HUGE factor in a relationship, and rarely do two people with very different religious views create a healthy marriage. I'm sure that you love him, but one of you will have to "convert", or at least be tolerant enough to take part in a ceremony that expresses the other's beliefs.
2007-11-05 16:12:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
The only way you would be denying your faith is if you allow your boyfriend to control what you believe. Having a non-religious ceremony doesn't do that.
You do need to talk about these things before you get married. After you get married, you're going to have things come up that you will have to discuss with each other and they won't always be easy or pleasant.
2007-11-05 17:52:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You two need to discuss this. If you are afraid that it will upset him, then you need to seriously reconsider marriage.
It is up to you how important a church wedding would be. If it means a lot to you, you shouldn't just give up on the idea simply because you are afraid it will upset your boyfriend. That is not a good way to begin a marriage! If he loves you, he will understand and you can both discuss what you want and hopefully find a happy medium (perhaps a JP officiant with a prayer during the ceremony?)
2007-11-05 16:16:55 · answer #7 · answered by elsie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get down to basics, is marring an atheist denying your faith? Your fear to take up this question with him has me worried. Usually, I would say,"nope, no worries". You can have a non-religious ceremony. But it seems to already be bringing up basic questions on how you will live your married life. Is he a true atheist? Does he completely reject the idea that there is no God, no higher power? If so, then there is a bigger rift between you two that needs thought and discussion. Blessings to you, Chaplain Debby If you would like, you can e-mail me at any time!
2007-11-05 21:18:31 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is NOT said at your wedding does not deny your faith. You know what you believe and that hasn't changed.
However, is your boyfriend unwilling to allow you some expression of your faith? It doesn't have to be a sermon, or a "beat everyone over the head" with Scriptures.
Of course, I don't know you and the whole story, but is this going to be a one-sided relationship?
There's the old joke that in marriage two become one, and it's after marriage that you find out which one. I'd say it's much better to find out before the marriage which one. And should it be one or the other?
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2007-11-05 16:19:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that might be the first of many religion related problems. Is your faith non-negotiable? How important is it to you? Do you want your children brought up with the same faith as yours? If you answered YES to any or all of these questions, better think again about getting married. Like the other posters said, a wedding is for ONE day only, a marriage is for a lifetime.
When my fiance was courting me, he was a non-practicing Catholic (about to convert to another religion) and I am a Baptist. I told him straight up that I could not see myself with anyone who was not a Christian. Now, he is the one reminding me when our growth group meets and what church service we will attend.
2007-11-06 06:24:50 · answer #10 · answered by doktorangbaliw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're going to get married, you need to have an open system of communication, and it also means making compromises for one another. If you want a religious ceremony, you should tell him. If he says he doesn't want one, then you have grounds for a discussion.
Whether it will be denying your faith, that depends on your faith. If you're catholic, then you're not adhering to the rite of marriage, and yes you are denying it. If you're protestant, I think they're a little more open about it.
Nonetheless, if you want to marry this person, you need to be able to talk about these sorts of things. My first point of action would be to talk to him about that.
2007-11-05 16:23:44 · answer #11 · answered by strictlyrouge 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋