My senior son, should you let them drink at home and be safe, or say no to drinking and be very strict?

Question

I am not sure if their is a right or wrong, of course the drinking age is 21 and he is breaking the law....I just worry if he is not at home.

Answer 1

I understand the worry about being away from home. You do what you think is right, but I read somewhere that a man went to jail for 2 years because he let his kids drink at home. I think too many people knew about it and someone turned them in. So keep it quite if you do. We do.

Answer 2

Condoning a child's breaking of the law will not help anything. You are the only person to set an example for your child of what is right and if you let him imbibe at home, you are telling him that drinking is OK. For some people, drinking is NEVER O.K. Some people are genetically inclined toward alcoholism. The least often your child is exposed to alcohol, the better it is in the long run. Also, allowing minors to drink in your home is usually against the law, so you may be breaking the law as well. And you should absolutely never allow other people's kids to drink in your house. If they drive and something bad happens, YOU could be held responsible. Tell your son that the drinking age is 21, that alcohol tastes bad anyway and makes people act like idiots, so there is no reason to drink at all except to try to prove something to dumb friends, and that you do not want your child to drink, and that you would be a very happy parent if he never drank alcohol at all. BUT that when he is 21, he is free to make his own decisions and that you will hope that he makes responsible ones. Allowing a minor to drink in your home is not being responsible yourself. And if he comes home with alcohol on his breath, then there should be repercussions. Better that you punish him than the police.

Answer 3

I don't think allowing him to break the law at home is the answer either. I think the message needs to be loud and clear. Drinking before the legal age is unacceptable and even then, must be in moderation.
Explain to him your concerns and the dangers. Explain to him what one DUI or one public intoxication, or one minor drinking arrest can do to the rest of his life including college. Explain how alcohol isn't necessary to have a good time.

Also let him know that if he makes a poor choice and drinks, to call you or someone else you trust to pick him up. No questions asked and no punishment. Let him know if he is driving with someone who is drinking you will come get him anywhere, anytime night or day.

Answer 4

You are breaking the law and definitely setting a bad example if you allow your son to drink before he is 21. Explain to him that certain things come with experience and responsibility and drinking is one of them. He can have friends over and have a party without alcohol being involved, and in certain areas there are nightclubs that are just for people under 21 that don't serve alcohol but have dancing and bands/music for kids 16-21, check out your area to see if there is one nearby. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 5

Well, that's a tough one. He is a minor and you are the guardian. If you choose to let him drink in your home, alone and he doesn't leave, that's fine.

If you choose to allow him to drink with others in your home, you can be charged with felony child endangerment. You can be sued civilly too. As you do not have the right to decide that others children should drink in your home. And God forbid someone dies or gets sexually assaulted. You will lose your freedom, and your home. And every penny you have.

It is up to parents to teach our children that the law is to be followed. When you start down the slippery slope of drinking is okay at home even though your a minor or speeding is okay as long as you don't get busted or it's okay to cheat a little here and there, a lie occasionally, you have done your children irreparable harm. You have taught them the rules are for others, not them. Even the bible says to obey the law.

Answer 6

Setting or bending rules is a parent's perogative, but it's far more effective if the teen can learn to self-regulate. Once he turns 21, you won't be there to discipline him, so he needs to learn how to discipline himself.

Talk to him honestly about alcohol, both the pros and the cons. Ask him to think about (without you telling him the answers) how to stay safe and healthy while enjoying alcohol. Coach him on how to recognize his limit and frequency, how to spot the signs of binging or addiction, how to designate a safe driver, how to resist negative peer pressure and how to use peer pressure for positive results.

Ask him to honestly suggest what he thinks are reasonable and safe guidelines for his drinking. He's much more likely to follow rules that he helped create. Agree to reasonable compromises, and then make the agreement a badge of honor - if he sees how much trust and respect you place on his actions, he'll think twice before breaking his own rules.

Answer 7

If you allow him to drink at home, you are condoning his breaking the law and opening up the door for him to become an alcoholic. Alcoholism happens whether it's at your house or someone else's.

If you can't keep close enough tabs on your kid to know if he's drinking at someone else's house, then maybe it's time to pay more attention.

Answer 8

If he breaks the law and the cops end up picking him up, let him sit in jail where he can think about that. Or if the cops arrest you for allowing a minor to drink in your home, you can think about that while you're sitting in jail.

Answer 9

I won't allow it. Even though I know,he smokes and drinks,but keeping a low profile prevent him at least from causing more harm to his health. I always give hints abt it though, and the bad side effects of it,he won't care maybe,but he won't get my consent on that!

Answer 10

Stick to no drinking and be very strict with it. If you don't you are encouraging him, and he may not be able to handle it when he is out with friends.