VERY upset with my daughter!!!!?

Question

My daughter is dumb!!! DUMB DUMB DUMB!!!! I am so angry right now I could spit nails!!!

She withdrew from the university she is at and is planning to come home next semester!!! She waited so long that it's to late for her to go to a community college!!!

I am disugsted with her!!!
i want her out of my house!!!!

what should I do??!!!!!

Answer 1

Growup?

Answer 2

First of all, calm down. Children often make mistakes, but maybe she has a good reason for withdrawing. Since you didn't say what that reason was, I'm only assuming she hasn't told you yet.

Second, I suggest you tell your daughter that she is welcome to rent a room from you since she isn't in school, but she'll have to get a job until she starts the next semester. You can find rental agreements on-line, but I don't remember the name of the website where I found them....sorry.

Make sure you either include food and utilities in the rent or show what the weekly or monthly charges will be for utilities and food. Give her the option of purchasing her own food. The best way to figure utilities is to divide the utility bill by the number of adults living in the house and letting her pay her portion. Don't forget about phone and cable. Make sure you have her sign a rental agreement with everything on it (rules, regulations, what day the rent is considered late, late fees per day, etc). Make everything legal. Your daughter is an adult and should be treated like an adult first and foremost.

Whatever you do, make it clear to your daughter that you do not approve of her actions and were not included in the decision making process when she withdrew, but since she has asserted herself with regards to her education you are not obligated to allow her to move home for free.

I hope this helps!

Answer 3

If it is too late for her to go to community college THIS semester, insist that she get a job until it starts. Do you know WHY she withdrew from university? You were obviously angry when you wrote this. Keep the lines of communication open with your daughter. Do you want her out of your house because you're mad or because you thought you were rid of her during college? It is a teenagers job to drive us nuts. How we handle it can help determine the outcome. Look at it in a different perspective. If you got some tragic news tomarrow, this would seem very trivial. Things can ALWAYS be worse. Good luck with the situation.

Answer 4

Geee I thought it was really bad. First of all don't call your daughter Dumb. She's not. It's her decision to leave. Her decision not to attend college. Did you ask her why? maybe it's too much for her. Maybe she can take some classes and work part time. when she comes home sit down an just listen to why she decided to do this. have her find a job and if she wants to go to a community college closer to school. Some kids are really homesick and can't deal with doing the college thing far away. Have her get a full time job and be able to get on her feet and move out when she is ready to stand on her feet. (have her save and look for a place to live) but don't just throw her out on her ear.

Answer 5

You need some counseling. I would love my son no matter what decisions he made and I would be by him no matter what circumstances. Did you ever sit down with your daughter and talk one on one with her to see why she left the University. Maybe she was having problems there or she was not fitting in right. You dont know. To call your child dumb is absoluteyl absurd. You have issues you need to deal with...I think you are the dumb one here. She may want to be closer to home, to you even. There is always next quarter to enroll in school. Give her a break. If I had a mother like you I would hate myself. Show her love and compassion. Ask her what went wrong. She can still get a degree at a community college. Get over yourself. You can't make your daughter something you want to be so realize that. I hope your daughter realizes what a ***** you are and moves out of your house and has nothing to do with you for awhile and then you can realize what you have done *****!!!!

Answer 6

Relax and take a deep breath. this is not worth slitting wists over. She can take a break and enter the community college next semester.
It is wrong of you to say she is dumb, I certainly hope you did not tell her that. She may have been overwhelmed at college if it was far from home.
Throwing her out of the house is ludicrous-get a grip! Try being able to listen to her and maybe she will tell you why she left and what her plans may be.

Answer 7

Have you asked her why? (calmly)
If this is out of character for her, it would be my guess that something happened. I don't mean to scare you but when someone does something out of character it is because something major has happened and she may not be able to tell you about it. There are a lot of scary things happening on college campuses today. Try a calm conversation or look for signs of derpression, withdrawal or trauma.

If this is not out of character for her then could I ask you a question that might make you angrier? Did your daughter go to college under her own motivation or did she go because you pressured her. Young people who go onto secondary education under pressure because they have to or simply because it is the next thing your suppose to do, rarely do well.
Does your daughter know what she wants to do with her life? What are her dreams, her goals? If she does not have any self motivation there is nothing you can do to make her succeed. She is an adult now. When she knows what she wants to do with her life, she will then find the reason to go to college.

Now, if she has no intention of going to school in January, then make sure that she gets a job and her own apartment. She may need a dose of living on her own without a college education but please do not rule out the possiblity that she may have experience some major difficulty before you come down on her.

Answer 8

I now it may be disappointing to have this happen. I saw my step parents go through it with their daughter when she dropped out of regular high school to get her GED. I know as a parent you want the best for your child. Sometimes as a parent what seems like the best at the time really might not be what is best. She would be DUMB if she decided she never wanted to go to college. It is possible she doesn't know what she wants to do and wants to take time to figure it out but not waist thousands and thousands of dollars to change her mind 5 times. It is also possible that she was over whelmed. I am at and age in which most of my friends have gone off to college, there are those who have flourished and those who have failed and those who have given up. I would recommend talking to her about what was going on, but if you feel uncomfortable or think she might lie to you there is the possibility to send her an anonomous message using http://hikkup.com to see what really happened. Good Luck in making your decision. If you would like to talk to someone or anything just shoot me a message.

Answer 9

Even though you are very upset with her, you may want to find out the reason she is coming home. There may be something deeper than you think. If you come at her with attitude and find out something serious was going on at school that she may needed to come home, you may regret going off on her and kicking her out or something. She can always go back I'm sure. Maybe she needs some time to decide on some things. Why waste money being in school if you not sure you wanna be there (if that's the case). Calm down, take a deep breath and be prepared to listen to her before going off.

Answer 10

what's her reason for coming home? i ask because i'm currently in a similar situation right now. i'm gonna finish the semester right now, but i don't plan on attending for the spring. i feel as if i'm a huge burden on my family. they're trying so hard to make ends meet and put me through college. it's not fair to them. i can't work while away at college because i don't have a car and my parents have the rule....no working while in school. she has her reasons for coming home. maybe she's homesick. i know i am very very homesick right now. i know i hafta grow up and get over it but i'm close with my family so that's what makes it all the more difficult. there are many reasons why she could be coming home. maybe she's just not ready for college. don't be angry with her. i sure feel bad enough as it is right now. i don't wanna seem like a failure to my parents. i want them to just understand where i'm coming from. talk to her.

Answer 11

So why don't you destroy your relationship with your daughter instead of working things out?

I never understood parents like you. Just because you messed your life up and demand your child to be better than you were, you can't accept mistakes. College is NOT for everyone. You don't know what's been going on with her to make her decide to do this. Accept the fact that she needs to be home, and take classes elsewhere or kiss your daughter goodbye.