At what moment did you realize that you were never "changing" and/or "becoming something new," but rather, ...

Question

...readjusting and settling into what you have always been?

And, what is it about "what you've always been" that can seem so difficult to "see," when it's always right there within you?

{{{{{{{{{{{ cosmic hugz }}}}}}}}}}}

Answer 1

Great question (as usual) Cosmic C.=)

After years of 'searching', tons of questions and some pretty amazing spiritual experiences, my big "ah ha" came at a week long retreat. We were in Ojai, Ca. and I was feeling frustrated by the "Who" wants the answers question. I got into a conversation with a 'sage-like' fellow student. He seemed to have the peace I was looking for.

I said who is this "who"? Why does the teacher always ask the question "Who wants to know?". I explained my frustration by telling him that it was ME that wanted to know...who else????

My fellow student asked me...who is this "me". Funny question! I wriggled around with this for awhile ...getting nowhere. And said something like, "Well, it's just me...I don't get it! It's me asking the questions!" lol

The rest of this is hard to describe, but I will attempt it. He said something like..."Your past is a load of memories that you carry around...it does not exist except in your mind...phantoms of sorts. Your 'future' has not happened and only lives in your imagination, it is also a phantom of sorts. There is only 'you' here,now, that has any substance. When you realize that the 'you' character that you think you are does not exist except in your mind/imagination, then you have a new freedom...just to be.

Well, something clicked inside of me and I flipped! It dawned on me that I had been carrying an imaginary Eve along with me and, somehow, referred back to this non-entity constantly.
I felt a new freedom. All the old 'stuff' seemed so insignificant. Wow! What a joke!

He went on to say something like, "Your mind will continually pull you into the old dreamworld and the one choice you have is to not attend to thoughts. When you ignore the old thought patterns (karma) the 'old you' fades into no-thing-ness.

It is up to you. You can choose to remain in the suffering habits or you can choose to be right here, right now. All of life can be 'handled' from this place.

When sadness arises, it is there...in your face. It is what is. It feels bad...bad happens. It fades. Laughter/joy arises, it is there...in your face. It is what is. It fades. YOU ARE CONSTANT. You are the only constant.

We are brained washed to think of time as a linear, ongoing, everchanging newness. To think of being 'stagnant' in the here, now is repulsive to the ever active mind. Eventually, however, one grows more accustom to handling life as it appears. The old habits of extending into the 'future' or digging up the past falls away. Suffering may arise, but it's sting is lessened because thoughts are not fed (given energy) to survive. The 'karmic; story telling is no longer attractive. the story teller has gone "poof".=)

(((Big hug from 'me")))

Answer 2

It didn't happen in a moment, but rather over the past 2 years, since I took early retirement and have actually had time to take stock. In fact, I'm not sure the dawning is quite complete - nearly there, but not quite arrived and not sure when I ever will! What I've always been is a dreamer and an adventurer, always believing that a life-changing occurence is just around the corner - when I'm going to 'arrive' at my real destination. The years have passed too quickly, but now, in my later years, I've come to understand that others view my life as having been very eventful, so I'm starting to look at it from a perspective outside myself. The result brings some degree of contentment, but also the realisation that the very nature of what I've always been means that I shall probably never completely 'settle in', unless I live to be 80 maybe, when I look forward to arrving at the place described in September's answer!

Answer 3

Well, I have had something like that in the last couple of years. My Steve committed suicide on December 16, 2005. I had been almost entirely defined by my relationship to him, and I knew I'd have to re-evaluate everything. Much of the "changes" I have made are actually back to the way I had been before I met him. Not that I didn't like the 20 years we had together, but now I'm more myself and less Steve's concept of me.

Of course, moving 2,000 miles across the country also changed a lot of things.

Answer 4

Ah! "To arrive there and to know the place for the first time" (the clear,childlike place we started from, before all the doubts and fears took over) I am paraphrasing-borrowing T.S. Eliot's words. Settling in can happen towards the end of a life, ha ha. But so much better to gain the insight and the wisdom to know the difference late than never, I say, for "even "the aged eagle (can) stretch its wings."

Answer 5

Yes. First of all, of course universal health-cover sucks. That is why we in Western Europe have it. We think, hmm, our healthcare system sucks. I know, lets keep it. I guess that is the same with Japan and Canada as well. Second, Obama is not going to bring in universal healthcare. He wants to make insurance more available to all. FACT - the USA spends more on healthcare PER PERSON than any other nation on the planet. FACT - the US has higher death rates for kids aged under five than western European countries with universal health coverage. That means that a dead American four year old would have had a better chance of life if they were born in Canada, France, Cuba, Germany, Japan etc, all of which have universal health coverage.

Answer 6

Well this one is actually easy for me (whew! I can keep some brain cells this time =)

Actually, I read a series of books called Conversations with God and it was like an epiphany.....I am not my "self".....there are 2 of me....and behind the "self" where I hid I realized I AM the I AM. The "self" is just an illusion....that is not who I AM.

For the first time I know who I AM. I know the divine me. It took a long time, but I finally got past that false self or ego (which doesn't mean that it doesn't pop up every day; it does!)

Answer 7

Great question! Maybe this is that moment...and I have you to thank for that. I would not have thought of "readjusting" and "settling in," but that is exactly how it feels. Was that a Zen moment? We've been hugging all along and I just realized it... I am Sirius

Answer 8

When I realized that I really didn't feel the religion I was raised in, I did some studying and found who I really am. Now my entire life is about changing and adjusting for the higher good of myself and learning more about what is really out there. I feel like I am finally admitting who and what I am and I am much happier for it. So, yeah -- I guess I am realizing who I always was, but who I was not allowed to be through suppression by another religion. Makes total sense now! ;)

Answer 9

Just now, it has never been clearer to me and your question was the epiphany. Thank you! I have always been a child of the universe but I never realized what that meant until now. I recieve all the promises of all the rainbows and still I worry and doubt, cry and shout. No longer. I will try harder to remeber who I am and what it means to be me.

Answer 10

hahaha It isn't always easy to accept ourselves as we are. I think we spend the first half of our lives at war here. You get really comfortable in your skin when you do accept yourself. Then and only then are all possibilities open to you.Even change. It is readjusting and settling. Now you're ready.