Me and My Boyfriend broke up and a week later I find out Im pregnant!?

Question

Me & my bf just broke up last wk. Fri i find out im pregnant. I text my ex to see if he could come by to talk but he said he had plans, i promised it wouldnt take long but he didnt respond back. Later I text again & he called back. I told him the news an he was shocked! i told him to think about it an call me later or come by. An hr later he calls back & asked what im up to but never brings up the situation. We talk a few mins then he lets me go.Then he texts sayin he loved me but for 2 ppl who couldnt get along for a wk for sure didnt need a baby! I text back tellin him i loved him too and that we could make it work an that i didnt believe in abortion. He said he didnt either but sometimes we got to think like adults. I text an told him to be an adult an come talk to me n person instead of textin. He txt back sayin he was sorry an that he wished he could be more responsible. Fri night was the last time i heard from him and today is Monday.

The reason we argued all the time was b/c he never let me know when something was bothering him, he always tried to avoid the situation just like this one. He would text me but not face me n person to talk about it. Im just gonna give him time to think about it. Im not gonna call or pressure him b/c i know its alot to take in. Do you think he will eventually call me back to talk about it? Hes 28 yrs old an i know he still cares for me, we broke up b/c we had been living together for 6mnths and needed some space. Hes a very responsible guy when it comes to everything else. He makes good money and is a very hard worker. Hes good nature and loves everyone elses kids, I guess its different when its his own. I think hes just scared of the huge responsibilty. He doesnt have any other kids and this would be his dads first granchild. Do you think he'll eventually come around? I want him to be apart of this babies life. Am i right by giving him space?

I am 26 yrs and yes i am perfectly mature enough to handle this baby! For the guy who answered first you have no clue about me! I will not give my child up for adoption! I made my bed and now i have to lye in it! I am responsible for my mistakes and im not fixin to just take the easy way out.

And to answer highgems question, yes as a matter of fact thats all ive been doing is praying! I believe prayer changes things! thanks

Answer 1

Wow... well I think you are right by giving him his space. It's alot to take in, and especially when you guys broke up for a reason, not just a fight. I would give him time. Keep him in the loop, and as long as he's not telling you to stop, keep telling him things about the pregnancy that he needs to know... dr appts, problems, potential due dates, names, etc. I'm sure, since we are talking about a 28 yr old and not a 21 yr old, he'll come around. He just needs time to figure this whole thing out.
Good luck sweetie!!

Answer 2

I'm sorry that you and your boyfriend have broken up, especially at a time like this. However, getting back together because of a baby is not the right reason. In fact, having a baby brings on huge responsibilities and unless a relationship is solid in the first place, it rarely ever works out for the best. There is nothing stopping your ex from playing a very important role in your new baby's life. Without the pressure of living together and you forcing him to be with you, things could work out. You need to reassure him that you won't put any pressure on him to get back together, but that you would like him to be able to enjoy his child when the time comes. Good luck to you and I hope things work out the way you want them to.

Answer 3

You can give him all the space you want, but I wouldn't let him off the hook when it comes to being responsible. If the relationship was such that you needed space then it was probably the wrong relationship to begin with. Now you're expecting a baby. Worry more about how you will be a good mom and stop worrying about him coming around. The focus has changed...it's no longer about you. It's about the baby! Accept that or you will be unhappy for a long time to come.

And BTW....I love babies and I am available.

Answer 4

You are not married, have a baby, not getting along, and you are already trying to work it out.

Oh ya it will all work out and you will be a happily married couple playing with junior in the back yard with a yappy dog.

Um...usually for a healthy relationship you can start working things out after 10 years of marriage. At least for the first few years it should be easy. If it is work right off the bat it might have been a good idea not to have the guys baby.

You don't sound responsible as you say. You are prego and the baby has no real daddy. You are not the victim the baby is a victim of your choices. You are correct...it only take one to raise a child.

The bad news is it takes two to do it well.

Answer 5

Heartbreak is difficult u both need sometime give that to him and make sure to call him after dr appts to let him know how the baby is doing maybe this will help him realize this is going to happen whether he likes it or not. Don't pressure him into being with you for the purpose of this baby or he will resent you for it when you and him are arguing again let him handle his emotions first . If he is as caring and responsible as you say he is he will come around.Just be sure to keep him informed eventually invite him along on a ultrasound or to listen to the baby's heartbeat.

Answer 6

If the only reason you want to be back with him is because of the baby, that is a bad reason. However, even if he seems to think he can get away without being responsible, you have every right to have his paternity determined and have him pay child support. He has every right to visitation. Just be prepared to hire an attorney for this purpose, because if he is going to evade you there isn't much sense in thinking he'll get back with you. But that doesn't change the fact that the child has a right to be supported by his/her father and have visitation time with his/her father.

With that said, if you think he'll get back with you, you need to give him time for it to sink in. Maybe invite him to go with you to the doctor's appointments or birthing classes and try and get him involved but don't pressure him to get back together.

Answer 7

I'd give him a little space but not much. You're facing the biggest challenge of your life and he is 50% responsible, emotionally, physically and financially - you have to face it right now and so does he. Make it clear that even if you don't get back together, you do expect him to financially support his child. And he won't be able to avoid that.

Answer 8

He seems like a good guy
I only live with my dad
I've been living with my dad since I was born
And I only seen my mom 4 times
I think he will come around and understand he needs to be apart of the babys life

Answer 9

if the guy is as resposible as you say yes he will be a part of his kid's life and probably a great father. just do not count on him being your boyfriend or husband.

you didnt get preggy as a way of trying to keep the man or get him to comeback did you? not saying you did but i have known a few women who when the relationship was falling apart would try to get preggy to make the guy stay and that never turns out well.

Answer 10

give him time to think..maybe he's just shocked by the news..if he really wants to be a part of your baby's life then he'll go for it..don't pressure him..if he still shuts his door at you after giving him time go for child support