My father died in 03, and my mother was abusive to me as a child. My husbands family lives in another state, so she spends every day and night with me. She does play with other kids, but I am always there. (most of these play dates are at my home, and I end up babysitting for all the other mothers to go out!) I admitt, I don't want any one else watching her, because of all the bad things that people are doing now. Am I hurting her in the long run though, or will she be fine in pre-k?
2007-11-05 04:37:03 · 11 answers · asked by waterlily 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I know EXACTLY what you mean. I have a 3,2 and about to be 1 yr old and they have NEVER had anyone take care of them who wasn't family. My kids don't even have play dates. They did once with a friend of mines children but it didn't go well since her kids are older. I have been through a lot to and am scared of to whom I leave my children with, there is so much to be afraid of these days and you NEVER know if someone is being sincere or not. I would try a church you trust first off, like a mommies day out kinda thing and leave her a couple of day a week at least you know there they she will be taken good care of b/c most churches are pretty strict upon whom they hire. That's what I plan too do once I am financially able to do so. Good luck and best wishes..
2007-11-05 04:52:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody can nurture a child the way his or her mother can. Kudos to you for being a full - time mother. That said, there's nothing wrong with being your child's primary caregiver; it's actually a good thing. But let's be honest, hun - after three years, you need and deserve a break! In addition, your daughter is at an age where she should be able to easily separate from you for at least short periods of time. You could start by joining a play group for kids her age. That way, you can be nearby - but don't hover over her. Instead, let her be free to explore for the most part, and stay on the other side of the room so she has a little more freedom. This will not only give her a chance to be on her own with other kids, but it will give you some much - needed socialization with other parents.
You should also be honest and upfront with the other moms. Tell them it's getting to be a lot for you. A great idea would be to start a babysitting pool - one mother takes the kids one day a week, another takes them on another day, and you take them for a day. That will give you all two days of free childcare to get things done and have a little break, and it will give the kids some "away from Mommy" time. If your daughter's friends' parents aren't open to the idea, then just tell them, "Sorry, I can't babysit all the time." Find other parents who are willing to host some play dates as well.
Although your daughter definitely will need to be able to separate from you somewhat easily when she goes to pre - K, you're not really hurting her. Good luck!
2007-11-05 04:57:47 · answer #2 · answered by SoBox 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she has been around other children than she will be fine in that aspect. But has she had any form of structure if not that could be a problem. My son had not any very much structure before he went into preschool (just started Aug 07 and he is 4) and he had a problem with it at first in his class. You need to have a playdate at someone else's house and see if you can trust the person to stay alone with her b/c you might want to get out and see if you can handle her being away from you. And she needs to learn that even though you (or her) are leaving that you will be back soon. That will help with school also.
2007-11-05 04:45:19 · answer #3 · answered by Angel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should try to get her into a preschool program, even just a couple of hours a week. She need to socialize with children and you need to have a break now and then. Where is your husband? Can he not take her for a couple of hours to give you a break. You need to have some quality time with yourself. I would start out small maybe a hour once a week having someone you trust watch your daugher than gradually progress from there. I'm sorry to hear that your mother was abusive to you, maybe it would be good for you to see a therapist and talk about your worries to them?
2007-11-05 04:52:07 · answer #4 · answered by sugarbear1a 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah I think in the long run there will be issues. When she starts school she may experience some serious seperation anxiety.
There are other things to consider. Is she clingy or independant. You may want to test it. Leave her with someone you trust just for an hour while you go to the market or somewhere like that. If she's fine then she's fine. If she cries a lot while you're gone then you're definately going to need to ween her off of you before she starts school.
2007-11-05 04:48:25 · answer #5 · answered by Mia More 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As long as you are socializing her you are doing nothing hurtful to your child. I would definitely try to get in a couple playdates a week if you can though. And you do realize that eventually your child will have to go to school. I know that it's hard with your background and the horrible state this world is in, but you need to come to terms with that. I do think you seem overprotective, just as I am =). But I think you are doing all the right things! Best of luck to you!
2007-11-05 04:42:06 · answer #6 · answered by Amy G 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No. I don't think that it's bad for her at all...as long as you go out often with her and not just stay home all day watching TV. Going out and socializing is important. As long as you do that she'll be fine. I also couldn't bear to let anyone else watch my daughters...not even my mom cuz she has a boyfriend that smokes and drinks in front of them(and me) or my in-laws cuz they spoil them with candy and soda(even tho I say no). So my girls are always with me or my husband. But they are just fine socially. My little one is 3 and I just put her into pre-k and she's doing good. She comes home from school full of stories of her day and new songs she learned and art and she just loves it. She didn't cling to me or kick and scream like I thought she might on her first day of school. First time ever away from me. I think it was harder for me to let her go than for her. So just take your daughter out to the parks, zoos, museums, to play dates at other peoples homes, wherever that's outside of your home so she can interact with other people and she'll be fine.
2007-11-05 05:23:45 · answer #7 · answered by sol's mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, because when it's time for her to do something without you in eye's view ... like going to pre-school or regular school, you are going to have the hardest time getting her to go. I think it's great that you are so overprotective of your daughter, however, she needs to be exposed to other adults as well as other kids.
2007-11-05 05:35:18 · answer #8 · answered by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, when she goes to start preschool she'll flip out and have a panic attack because she'll have no idea what to do when mommy isn't around. Let your husband or friend watch her while you go out and do something for yourself for a day.
2007-11-05 05:17:21 · answer #9 · answered by ☆ღWifey Wifeyღ☆ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
.yes you are and creating the environment for separation anxiety...school will be comming soon and i would start to take steps now to work on this..
2007-11-05 04:46:15 · answer #10 · answered by becca9892003 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋