I just talked to God and he said I am his Prophet. Do YOU believe me?

Question

Please have faith in Rove))))LOL

He also said that you should obey me.
He is going to help me write a book too. Isn't that great?????

All I ask is for you to have a little BLIND FAITH!!! LMAO

The Dude:

I believe we understand each other)))

Answer 1

Only up to a point; I'm a postmodern Rovist.

Rove is the key prophet of our religion, but she may not have been the Daughter of God. But, aren't we all children of God? And shouldn't we therefor treat her writing as thought it was the Word of God, because really, aren't all words the Word of God?

Remember, the Rove-texts aren't meant to be taken literally. They're just too... out there.

Answer 2

I'm working on the faith part, and it comes easier with each mysterious, edifying question The Rove posts.

You are a Pre-2012 Prophet, outside the boundaries of nonsense and not contained in Mayan nor Abrahamic writings, which lends further credence to your claim. And you're not that scrawny tattooed lady at the corner of Highway 18 and Robinson Road, screaming at passing cars while showing a mouth full of missing teeth.

No, you have achieved the ultimate realization: Absurdity! You recognize it all around, you point us to it, you glory in it for everything is indeed absurd, including human evolution.

The lessers surrounding us (you being at the top, understand) do not understand absurdity in its Rovian form. They think it is a re-run of "King Of Queens", which it not absurd.

I can't wait to stand in the blocks-long line for a signed copy of your book, hoping your hand may brush mine and give me more absurdness.

Answer 3

Many of the beliefs of Christianity seem strange, especially when put it a human-to-human context.
1)God compels one to love and honor him under penalty of punishment. You can’t compel love with a threat.
2)The belief in ‘original sin’. All mankind is being punished for the misdeeds of Adam and Eve. It’s as if I were to punish you and your family because your grandfather eats one of my apples.
3)The Roman Catholic version is even more strange. I must go to church every Sunday to eat the actual body of a god/man. The wafer was turned into Christ’s actual body, by a man--it has to be a man--by saying some words. This is magic in any other context.

Answer 4

Just move to the back of the line behind Joseph Smith and L. Ron Hubbard. Don't you know that you shouldn't "write" your own religious text? It needs to be written down by God...like with Moses at Mt. Sinai or found on gold tablets that need to be magically translated...like with the Book of Mormon.

Answer 5

If u r real Prophet then u dont exist in this world..!! This is world is sin - full ... !!! Prophet cannot do any sin..!!
And Prophet Mohammad is the Last prophet in this world..!!
This was words of god..!! if u say u r last prophet then ur telling false..>!! that implies u cannot be Prophet..!!

Answer 6

I'd only believe you were a prophet of God if your predictions were 100% accurate, and in line with the Word of God. That is the litmus test for a Prophet of God.

Answer 7

Really??? Wow! Who's gonna win the Kentucky Derby?

Answer 8

How is humiliating someone's religion supposed to achieve your goal of individuals understanding your point of view. You should know this the way the religios say the unreligious are going to hell. So your really no different from them.

Answer 9

Um,I guess. But hey,instead of $$$ contributions could i just stuff envelopes? I really hate to spend money on religion.

Answer 10

I believe YOU believe it.

I asked my goD about this, and the Special One had no idea who you were. You may wish to check with the Hebrew goD, though...