I have a female friend that my wife really dislikes one night after telling her i was a party that she was at. I came home to find my clothes outside of my door. Ok so she might have been a little jealous but here's the thing she asks me to cut it off with my friend and i tell her fine ill do it. In turn i ask her to cut off her male friend who openly let her know he is romantically interested in her. She throws herself on the floor hysterically crying saying he's just her friend and why cant she talk to him? I dont really care if she talks to this guy or not but hysterically crying and screaming? She sounded like somebody cut her pinky toe off for chrissake! Is that normal?Or does that mean that they have/had something going on? Awhile ago her best friend told me that i was the guy she wish she got with and that my wife was cheating on me. I chose not to believe her and stuck with my wife but now im looking back at both these situations and wondering ....did she? HELP!!!
2007-11-05 03:39:18 · 15 answers · asked by mrdrproffesorcrayon 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
this situation happened over a year ago but its just something in the back of my head thats preventing me from really enjoying time with her. Sure people say oh you can talk it out but honestly who is going to be upfront with you about cheating?
2007-11-05 04:22:18 · update #1
Here is what I find to be true MOST OF THE TIME: People will project their lives onto the ones closest to them to take the attention OFF THEM. So by saying you are cheating with your female friend, is (MAYBE) saying that she is or thinking of cheating with her male friend.
People and trust are hard to mix. It shouldn't be this way.
Since you are married, i don't know what to say but work on it. Marriage these days are so disposable. People think of divorce before tehy even reach the alter!
People in a marriage have healthier lives, EVEN IN BAD MARRIAGES, then divorced people.
Once upon a time you and she were happy & in live. Find that again. I don't know what your religious beliefs are, if you share any talk to teh head of your church, or get into counseling. Outside friends should be SHARED, not only yours, or hers!! Get to know her friends and vice-versa so that you are closer and more secure in the relationship.
I don't know how long you were married but I think tht every union is worth saving if there isn't any violence or other serious abuse going on.
Here are 5 Golden Rules to follow once you reach an agreement:
1: NEVER BE THE PERSON TO START THE ARGUMENT!!
2: Remember that spouse has weaknesses just like you
3: It is better to DIE then to say "I regret marrying you!"
4: Never forget that marriage is a 'competition' of sacrifice one for the other.
5: Patience is always to your benefit!!
I wish you luck, and happiness. Share these concerns with your 'wife' and talk about them. It can be the first step to saving your future together!
2007-11-05 04:03:05 · answer #1 · answered by Tonia M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I would not cut off with any male friend just because my husband is jellous... on the other hand I would never demand from my husband that he would have to cut off any friendship with a female friend...
I trust my man and he trusts me... but in your case, your wife is hysteric and seems to demand things from you, which she would not accept for herself...
The problem both of you have is a trust problem and this will always lead to fights.
So your wife’s best friend gossiped about her?
I wouldn’t take it in serious, as it seems that this lady just wanted to get closer to you spreading lies.
Your wife shall learn to trust a little more in you and have some more self-confidence.
When was the last time you did show her that you still are in love with her?
I think, that a honest conversation could help to put things in order again at your home, if this is not possible, then try to get some professional help.
Good luck!
2007-11-05 04:05:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anita P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are only a handful of male friends that I refuse to cut off for my bf. One of them is an ex from 8 years ago and truly my best friend, he's also engaged so I don't think my bf sees him a a threat (and he shouldn't). The other is a very good friend that lives in a completely different state who I have NEVER dated. Any other guys that bothered my bf (sincerely bothered him) I would cut off. My bf is not concerned because I don't talk to ANY guy except him on a regular basis. I am all for having opposite sex friends and do believe that is CAN be platonic. However, if your gut is telling you otherwise I think it's fine for you to ask her to cut him off. Also, regardless of how many opposite sex friends one has, the significant other should always take priority over others.
2007-11-05 03:47:19 · answer #3 · answered by laura1977 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hindsite is such a great thing. I cant really comment about the cheating but it dosnt look good. Why would she behave like that? Maybe they do have a past or even a present.
All i can say is know what you know and look out for the signs of cheating.
Go and talk to her friend. Ask her how she knows that your wife has cheated? What evidence does she have?
Good luck buddy
2007-11-05 03:47:01 · answer #4 · answered by Freckles2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That kind of hysterics is either a sign that she really loves the guy, or is a ploy to get you to back off.
From what you say here, your wife was very quick to assume you were cheating, or going to. This is usually a bad sign. Either it means she's cheating herself and sees it in you, or she is so insecure that she sees everything as a sign you're going to leave her.
2007-11-05 03:46:50 · answer #5 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, your wife's friend is a backstabbing BI and u should watch your back. She had no right saying she wants to get with you and is doing so to cause issues with you and your wife.
Second, you only told the wife to get rid of her friend becasue she KNOWS her "friend" is no good and has designs on you. You yourself said you dont care abt this guy so why ask her to get rid of him?
Theres a lot more at work here than just mistrust
2007-11-05 04:14:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, something is definitely going on.. for her to ask you to drop a friend.. you say yes and ask her to do the same.. and she refuses,... is a big sign there. IN ADDITION.. she could be feeling jealousy from your female friend as a result of her guilt about the situation with her male friend. You really need to investigate this.. it sounds like something is going on.
2007-11-05 03:43:11 · answer #7 · answered by Bobby D 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She sounds a little immature. Base don what you said, sounds like you made a fair agreement. Don't let her crying change you mind. Just comfort her . . give her a hug and say, I'm sorry you feel this way", then when she clears up, say "so, do we stop seeing our friends or continue" Just let her know it's a give and take situation.
2007-11-05 03:47:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A marriage takes a certain level of values and emotional maturity...think about that. I would also suggest associating with a higher caliber of friends. Stop drinking and partying. Good luck.
2007-11-05 03:45:40 · answer #9 · answered by Sweet as 3.141 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yep shes cheating...why would she act so crazy. And her being so quick to jump to the conclusion that you cheated on her makes me think that she's got cheating on her mind.
2007-11-05 03:47:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋