What am I doing wrong?

Question

I will be 26 in 5 months, and I am still single. My clock is ticking. If I don't end up in a long term relationship/marriage soon there won't be any point in trying any more because I'll be too old.

My history of relationships with women is depressing:

1st girl - reported me for "harassment" coz I told her I liked her
2nd girl - said she "didn't think I was a very good friend"
3rd girl - said she just wanted to be friends. Fair enough
4th girl - tried to string me along
5fth girl - never replied to any of my texts - that really hurt!
6th girl - lived 3,500 miles away we were chalk & cheese anyway
7th girl - Asked me out, went out 4 times, and then when I asked her out again said "I just want to be friends and you were never meant to get any other impression."
8th girl - I met her online. Went out 3 times, and I really fell for her. She told me "told me "she didn't think she was going to meet me anymore, that I was a good guy but she didn't see us together".

What am I doing wrong? Why can't I just meet a woman who loves me and wants to spend the rest of her life with me? Why do I have to watch everyone else getting married and settling down?

Why must I go through life depressed and hating myself because I'm single and unattractive to women?

My clock IS ticking. I am fed up with people telling me I am "late getting started" on the dating scene. I am fed up with being told I am getting old.

And I am fed up with just having FRIENDS. I WANT A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

well the truth is women are b..ches and no matter how hard you look you will only find her when you least expect it. just get out and be outgoing and try new things maybe go out and try to start conversations and don't be afraid to ask a girl to dance but don't just hope for a one night stand I mean if that's what you are looking for it's not that hard to find but I didn't get that impression I live in colorado I have a myspace (Beverly Tovrea) if you want to talk more, or you could just E-mail me on here. hope to hear from you and I hope I could help. ; ) umm I hope you don't mind but I read some of the questions you answered and the one "What do you miss"... That was beautiful it made me cry and it is horrible that she did what she did to you I cant believe that any one could hurt some one like that I really feel for you I have never been in love but the way you make that sound makes me feel like you were in love the little things that you miss and the compation you had for her it's beyond words you are really strong and god I hope you find that girl for you man you really really deserve it and I know that you will find her. She's got to be out there!!

Answer 2

ok well relationships are not that easy to get into for a start and when u do get into them they dont always work out and if they do they can be a proper struggle...so theres some negatives to think about. i really would not get so fussed about bein your age and not bein settled down yet, have soem fun, that doesnt mean sleeping with women randomly, but have fun with ur mates, go out, have a laugh, learn how to live without the need for a relationship, its hard and its not easy but relationships will come along at some point, and not neccessarily when its best for you, so though at the mo your feelin really down and desperate for someone, this will pass and once u start havin more in ur life to look forward to that isnt relationship orientated and 26 is still really young, ur not a late starter bcoz relationships dotn work like that, theres no ideal age or anythin, all u can do is concentrate on leading the best sort of life u can independantly and then the rest will follow at some point but theres no timescale so stop worryin so much otherwise ur just not living and whats the point then

Answer 3

Sounds like you are takig dating too seriously. No problem with knowing what you want and wanting to get married - but sounds like you should be spending more time trying to get to know them and having fun with it without thinking about marriage. That will come when you've been with someone long enough to get to know them.

Lots of people have been "shot down". I could make a list a lot longer than yours - and I am not upset about it. Those girls did you a favor by leaving you. They weren't right for you and they knew it.

Next time when you go out - treat the girl as a friend. Try to learn something from them and look at it like a learning experience. Each person is showing you whether they choose to or not what you want and what you don't want in a relationship so that when you finally meet the right person - all the pieces will fit.

Don't wear your heart on your sleeves and watch out for yourself. Don't tell them how much you like them until they are showing obvious signs that they like you. Be patient with yourself and take your time. It's a big decision to settle down with one person - you should relax and enjoy the opportunity to try the "buffet" while you can.

Answer 4

I agree with most - I think you're trying too hard. Wanting so much straight away. Just look at your last few sentences of your question - all of this is probably coming through when you're meeting these girls and you're probably scaring them off.
Another thing is that you need to have a better opinion of yourself. Don't lose confidence because it shows in your body language and attitude. Focus on your positive attributes and so will they.
And 26 is so not too old to be settling down! You're still young - go out and enjoy yourself. Relax and have some fun with dating and chances are something will come of it when your least expecting it and not trying so hard...

Answer 5

According to your icon, you look average and attractive. Ask your friends the same question and their secrets. And ask them for tips and tricks. Travel to places like the mall or movies, walk up and compliment a pretty girl and walk away. Most likely she will run back to you, so ask her to a movie or an outing. NOT a date yet. then once you get to know her, after a week ask her on a real date. Meet her family and let her meet yours then give her a card (Birthday, Christmas etc;) to let her know you're thinking about her. Make sure you're ages are the same or at least 1 or 2 years apart. Ask her to be your girlfriend and she'll most likely say yes. And make sure you don't get into fights. If you get into fights, tell her to be strong and we'll figure out the problem together.

Answer 6

Don't give up! I heard on e harmony that we might go through 50 people before we will meet the one. It may be that you need to work on you for a while find out what a good no great husband and father looks like and work on becoming that. It may be that you are really not ready yet and God is sparing you and your mate from the pain you both would go through. If we are not ready to value the other person and be a complement to each other then even though we find them it will not work.
Don't stop dating. But also be busy seeking out who you really need to be in order to become the man of her dreams.
If you do not read much then talk to some guys who are husbands and fathers. You should look at it look if you were the child what would you want in a dad? Seek out people with integrity and talk to them. God's people who love Him, they are a good place to start. They are not perfect but they are trying hard. God bless your journey.

Answer 7

Two things.

One, 25 is hardly "old". Get over that one.

Two, stop trying to meet people online. It rarely works. A better method is to look around in the places you like to go, such as at the ice-skating rink, church, rock-climbing outings, car races, stamp collection bazaars, auctions.....the fact is that anything you like to do, odds are that others like to do them, too. You will be meeting people with similar interests BEYOND just "meeting someone". You will also meet people who KNOW people. Just don't spend any more time at home than you really have to, get out and do stuff. Worst case, being single is more fun that way.

Avoid trying to meet people at work, though. Your odds there of a good result are the same or less than online, but the chances of a messy situation are greatly increased.

Answer 8

Don't stress yourself out. Your still very young and have plenty of time to meet the right woman. The average age for people to get married now a days is 29, which means tone of people are getting married in their 30's as well as their 20's. So you have time to meet someone.

It sounds to me that your very pre-occupied in the idea of marriage and finding the right girl. This may come out during your conversations and would scare a woman away. You need to remain calm during the first 5-6 months! Don't stress about marriage before then..you'll scare her away. Get to know her, her likes and dislikes, have fun etc...

Relationships are something that develop into seriousness, they don't begin serious. Dating is like an interview for whats to become. So, give a little, but leave mystery.
Good luck and don't stress out!

Answer 9

Firstly, your negative attitude will not help you succeed at all.
There is someone out there for all of us, you just havent found yours yet.
These other girls are just not the ones for you. They all sound quite horrid anyway!!

Its such a cliche but when you stop looking, thats when it finds you.
In the words of, Will Young - ''Sometimes you walk past the good ones coz your trying to hard to see them?''

Put yourself in the situation where you meet new and interesting people, ask friends to set you up, go to every invitation you recieve.

Your body clock is ticking, but your still only 25. If you live to be 100 years old, You've still got 75 years to meet the love of your life!!

Chin up

Answer 10

Man, you're 26 and in your prime! Why don't you relax, date around, and let nature take it's course. And no your clock isn't ticking - you've got many fertile years ahead of you. Focus on your career and your interests and becoming a well-rounded person so when a good woman does come along you really have something to offer.