What can I do about my parents?

Question

I'm 19 years old, and a guy. I have been raised by wonderful parents, except it seems the older I get, the worse it is everywhere! My parents treat me like a baby, and it is begining to affect my relationship with my girlfriend (in a way), her father, my girlfriend, and myself all feel as if my parents (mother especially) treats me like a baby! I was not allowed to get my permit till I was 16, then I didn't get my lisence till I was 19. I have just been allowed on the highway (because it was "too dangerous"). They said in the past they were afraid of me being an impulse driver, and I'm not at all! The worst thing is, they won't let me get a cell phone, a student loan, or even move out! It seems like their restrictions are getting tighter, and it hinders my ability to move on in life! And I started to believe them, they said not to get a student loan because debt! But if I don't I can't really go to college! And I can't buy a car without my parent's approval!

I have told them, I even faught with them about it all, and they brush it off, I tell them others think the same thing and I get "OH MY GOSH! EXCUSE ME FOR BEING PROTECTIVE AND NOT LETTING YOU ____" the blank is the subject such as driving on a highway or something. I feel pathetic, and a loser at life, like Im failing because I have no where to go, and it is because I believed my parent's decisions! Now I realize how stupid it all is! I need help :(

Answer 1

Its time to cut the umbilical cord. Just tell you parents that you love them very much nd the have done an amazing job raising you, but you have to live your life now, not theirs. It will be hard for you to do. I can hear the respect in your words. But you need to do this for yourself. Just tell them that the have invested 19 years in you and you feel you are ready to practice the skills they have tought you. You will gain alot of respect from them if you are firm not angry. Good Luck

Answer 2

Your parents think they are looking out for you by protecting you. However, they have failed to realize they cannot protect you form everything. They have raised you to be a respectable and responsible person but are having a hard time letting go.

At the same time, however, you have to make the decision to be an adult or to remain a child in your parents home. The world can be a tough place and making ends meet and going to college can be very difficult on your own. You can prepare for this, though, and many people have worked full time and gone to school without accumulating a lot of debt. You may have to sacrifice having a great car for having a mediocre one. You may have to live in a small efficiency apartment instead of hainv nice digs, but if you're willing to make some sacrifices, then you should move on with your life as you see fit. You'll make mistakes, but if you're careful, they will be few and far between. The choice is yours.

At age 19, you are legally an adult which means your parents cannot stop you from buying a car or getting a cell phone if you have the money to do so. There are several options for buying a car: save up the money to buy a decent car (if you don't have the money right now), get a full-time job and get a loan from a bank to buy a car (think cheap) and pay the insurance for it, go to school and work and live on campus where you may not need a car for a while, or stay with your parents and be miserable. Be sure to set a budget and check the insurance rates and requirements in your area before jumping into buying a car (especially if you get a loan for one).

With regards to student loans, I don't think you have to have your parents sign for all the student loans available, so you can take on that endeavor of your own accord.

The decision is yours....you can choose to an adult and act like an adult or you can choose to let your parents dictate what you do for the rest of your life. So, what's it gonna be: quit whining like a the baby your parents think you are, or grow a set and be a man?

Answer 3

It sounds like your parents are just being protective of you. If you are an only child, it may be that they are just fearful of loosing you to a freak accident on the highway. It is a known fact that Teenagers accident rate is much higher than adults. There is always middle ground for negotiations. If they do not have the ability to pay for your college, then a student loan sounds reasonable. I think they mean well, it just seems irritating and unreasonable now. As you get older, it won't seem like such a big deal. You have the right to be a kid and have fun, but there are many opportunities for kids to get in trouble, and I am sure that is what they are afraid of. Sit down with them and pick a small item to let you do and say if I do this and don't screw up, then pick a next item. You just need to make sure that you don't screw up and loose their trust. Deal with it rationale and I am confident you guys will work it out. Your situation is not unique to alot of kids. Actually you should feel lucky that your parents are staying involved in your life. Look at your friends who's parents are not involved and how many of them have done things wrong whether they have been caught or not. For them, it will be just a matter of time before things go south for them. Hang in there and find some middle ground. In the long run, it will be best for you.

Answer 4

I understand exactly how you feel. I know that even if you try to express yourself and your feelings that your parents would just brush it off and act like your opinions doesn't matter. It's like you are not allowed to have an opinion on anything b/c their word is gold and you're wrong every time. I've been, done that, and still trying to overcome the affects of having controlling parents. What I would suggest is since it seems that your parent like to know everything you do; find a job and save the money you need. If they ask why you need a job, tell them that you like to have some spending money. Don't tell them how much you make. Open a bank account, but don't tell them about it and save up to get an place first, then the car. If you get the car first, you are still living with them and they can still control you. But if you get your place, it'll be harder for them to control you. Try to get a student loan by yourself and if that doesn't work, then there may be grants and scholarship you can apply for. Get a prepaid cell phone if you can to solve your cell phone problem. I can't tell you that standing up to your parents is easy, but once you be assertive and take a stand, it will be easy to deflect there controlling ways in the future.

Answer 5

Well, in realization....you can get a cell phone yourself. If they won't let you get a loan, let them pay for your school then if theyre going to be such sucks. And about moving out, you can do that whenever you want and are ready. You can buy a car just make sure you have the funds because it is really expensive. Sit down and talk to them and tell them how you feel and resolve these issues with them by telling them you are growing up almost gone from their roots and home and they need to realize this.

Answer 6

Well, legally you are an adult and you are able to make your own decisions regarding your own life. If you want to take out a student loan than by all means take out a student loan. Just be aware of your financial obligations in paying the loan back.. Driving on the highway, is NOT that big a deal as long as you obey the rules of the road and drive in a defensive manner.... You're 19 yrs. old and should start acting responsible for yourself.. If you want a cell phone then save your money and buy one.. I think your parents heart(s) are in the right place they don't want you to go into debt and make bad choices but, you need to start being a MAN and doing things for yourself.. So, if you live under their roof try to abide by their "house" rules.. However, let them know that you are responsible for your own decisions as well.. If they don't want you to get a cell phone that's fine/good but, I would stress to them that you plan on saving the money to get a cell phone and act responsively.. Which means paying the bill on time and NOT going over your minutes etc.. Try doing things for yourself, like your own laundry chores etc... Be respectful of your parents while you are under their roof. Have open lines of communication. I think they just worry- good luck

Answer 7

YOU HAVE GOT TO MOVE OUT. the only way they can keep you from getting a student loan is by not giving you their necessary tax information. Be firm with them!!!!! Get a job nearby even if you have to walk. Save up enough to rent an apartment. then get a car once you are on your own. You will never have a life if you dont...and once your parents see you being assertive, they will probably back off some. they probably love you very much but just dont know how to go about letting you grow up.

Answer 8

It happens, parents want to protect their cub but sometimes they take it too far. You need to move out and establish your own life. Be warned, the need for governing your life won't end when you leave. You will have to establish times and dates that they can visit you...otherwise there is no point moving out as they will basically move in. Get your student loan, you don't need them for that and yes you will have debt but who doesn't?? You will also have an education and after a good job to pay the debt off. Drive on the highway...just be careful and responsible. You are going to make mistakes in life but that's your job, you need to find who the real you is. Tell them you love them but you need your space now, it's your turn to live. Pack your bags, kiss them and leave. Phone with your number. And in this day and age you need a cell!!! Buy one!Best of luck, be true to thine self!!!

Answer 9

Tell them your a man now, and you are entitled to you're own decisions. Or just disobey them. But your own cell phone. And when you get it call them from the highway. Find an apartment, and tell them you are moving out. You are 19, you can apply for your own student loan. I don't understand why you let them walk all over you like that. I would never let my parents do that to me. Be assertive, firm, but not mean.

Answer 10

Okay, you need to realize that you are 19 now and if you want freedom you need to take control of your life now while you can. Your parents are treating you like a baby because you're growing up and soon you will not be living with them and they will no longer have a huge role in your life. Time to tell them that these are your decisions and that you are an adult and they can not control everything you do anymore. They're not going to like this, but if you don't start acting like an adult you will not be treated like one.