Are the odds of me, a 15 yo foster kid, being adopted into a family that takes care of me, in my favor?

Question

i've been a foster kid for 10 years (about 15 different families). the one i'm with now has had me for a year and is the worst of them all. i haven't looked up online the odds of older trailer trash like me being adopted, but i'm pretty sure they're low. most of the adopted kids i know of are under age 5. but anyway, is there a way for me to get out of this hell-house, even if it means going to a different one? and don't say contact you're social worker, she hasn't been by in over 6 mo. and when she did. she saw the situation me and the other kids were in and did NOTHING> it's gotten worse by now too.

Answer 1

You can call childrens services and tell them your social worker hasnt been taking you seriously and you feel you're in a bad home. They need to relocate you.

Sadly, chances are not in your favor, adopting teenagers out into homes is very difficult. Teens are hard work, and its a thankless job unlike any other. Beyond that, its dangerous to the adoptive family since so many adopted teens, especially girls, will cry abuse the first time they're upset over the new rules or life of the family.

I honestly wish I was in a place to work with teens. My heart goes out to kids in your shoes, if it werent so dangerous I'd love to adopt teens. But I think we're a bit too young, my husband is only 30 and iam only 24- theres not enough of an age gap yet.

You only have less than 3 years left before you're 18 and out of the system. You can spend your life changing things for others, or making the life you want around you. You'll be fine.

Call CPS, insist that they help you.

Answer 2

I really do feel for you. I do think that social workers seem to forget about the older children. I asked about permanently fostering or adopting a sibling pair of 13 and 11 but was told that I was perfect to adopt a sibling group ages 0 - 5 years old.

I am in the UK so don't know what the system is like out there but there must be someone who can help you. You may need to kick up a bit of a fuss. Go to your social workers boss and complain about her.

If you were in this country, I would definately look at adopting you, I am sure there are people in the US who feel the same. Your new family is out there somewhere, I'm sure of it.

{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}

Answer 3

Wow. My heart seriously goes out to you. I can't imagine what your situation is like...even if you were in the care of the best of foster families, 15 families in 10 years?? First of all...you are NOT trailer trash. No way. I don't care how many families the stupid system has bounced you to and from, you are worth a HELL of alot more than trailer trash. You are a human being who is probably very smart and has incredible potential, you just have no way to channel it. I'm not sure what kind of hell you're living in since you didn't specify, but I can only imagine. I honestly don't know what you're odds are of getting adopted at this point. Probably not great to be honest with you. You mentioned contacting your social worker, who doesn't seem to be able to make the time to look further into your situation. Can you contact his/her supervisor??? Can you contact THEIR supervisor?? Can you call every single day and make a lot of noise so to speak??? (Like the old saying, the squeaky wheel gets the grease??). If all else fails, do the only thing left...keep your eye on the prize of turning 18. I know three years seems like a hellishly long time to wait...but at 18 YOU have control of your life. I hope you can rise above it....the pain, the hell, the injustice. You can do something with your life.....You can go to community college on financial aid...(you'll most certainnly be eligible...) you can work to support yourself through school....you can make something of your life and prove to everyone that you ARE worth something.

I truly hope the best for you...please write to me if you ever just need someone to talk to.

Your letter really touched me. God Bless.....

Answer 4

What everyone says is correct. Talk to your CPS case worker. If the foster home is really bad, talk to the licensing board for foster homes in your state. Your chances for adoption is very small. You might also look into organizations like Big Brother/Sister or other mentoring programs to see if you could get some help/guidance.

Another thought, though a drastic one, is to see if you can get 'declared' as an adult. Basically, as an adult, you would able to leave the foster care system. However, this will be very difficult and should only be a last resort. You would have to be able to prove you could support yourself as well as attend and finish high school. As a foster child, you should have a state assigned attorney ad lidem, talk to them to see if this is a viable option.

Answer 5

The moral issue with birth control. BC works in 3 ways. First two ways prevent pregnancy, the third makes it to where if you do get pregnant the fertilized egg can't attach to your uterus, thus forcing an abortion of the egg. We don't use BC for this reason either. We too hope to have as many as the Lord provides, because He does tell us to be fruitful and multiply (amongst other scriptures). I think that it's really no one's business. For some reason people feel that they should get to tell others how to use their money, raise their kids, etc. If they see raising Godly children as a cause, then let them raise their children, as many as that may be, the way they see fit. They live debt free and without government assistance so I don't have any complaints about them. As long as she is in good health and the babies are fine, I see no reason for them to put the breaks on. And I have friends that are personal friends of the family and the children are not weird, unsocial freaks. They are a wonderful family and I wish half of the one or two children homes were raised as wonderfully as they are.

Answer 6

Sorry kiddo, but chances are good that you will leave the system as unadopted. You aren't alone though...

I entered foster care at age 7, went through 13 foster homes and 3 potential adoptive homes. When I finally, at age 12, I was adopted, I was abused so badly that when I finally refused to leave school to go "home", a case worker was sent - I flatly told her that I would not go back or stay in that house any longer - that if she did nothing, I would be out, on the streets, before dark fell. She pulled me out and sent me off to a "diagnostic center".

I finally ended up in a group home at age 14, and that probably saved my life and sanity. That would be my suggestion to you, try to get placed in a group home - they aren't ideal, but they are generally better than foster homes, IME.

Answer 7

I would call social services or whoever takes care of your case but ask to speek to a director or someone above your social worker and put in a complaint. You are old enough that they should listen to your reasonings on why its such a bad family to be with. As far as getting another one thats a good family all you can do is pray about it. I know its been a rough life for you so I wish you the best of luck and hope that you are able to get out of that situation soon.

Answer 8

This is what I did......Contact the social services, they have lawyers. Get emancipated...that is where you are judged to be an adult before 18. To be honest they would rather get you out of the system then for you to stay in it. Since you are not really in the adoption range you need to look at your future. They state will help you get into an apartment, ask the lawyer how-they have the paperwork.
Now, once that is done you need to have figured out if you want to go straight to work or to college. I highly suggest college. You can go to FASFA.org and fill out paperwork for grants, those you dont have to pay back. Find a college that you want to go to and start the process. If you have any questions then holler at me and i will walk you through it.
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good luck!!

Answer 9

the best thing I can tell you is possibly contact montel, alot of people my think that is stupid but he helps in alot of ways. Tell him your situation and maybe he can do a show about older children needing to be adopted, and showcase you. Then you could, in the long run help other kids in your situation. Or possibly oprah she has alot of influence over the world.

Answer 10

if your situation is as bad as you make it seem and you really want out of there talk to you social worker, and if that doesn't work go over her head. talk to her superior.