I have been fortunate, because I have never had a family member die in my life, but this morning, I was told that my uncle passed away. He had been a heavy drinker at some points in his life and it was his liver. He was in his early 50's, and so is my mom. He is the 2nd oldest of 9 siblings in my mom's family. Our family was always very close. We had so much fun and I love all my aunties and uncles very much. I am finding this hard to deal with. I am sad, for his wife and for the rest of my family who I know will miss him. And I will miss him, no family event will be the same. But I also feel angry. I can not believe that he died so fast. No one got a chance to say goodbye. I feel angry with god for taking him, and for making it a reality that my mom will also eventually pass away. And he hid the fact that he was sick in bed for 8 weeks prior, so no one got a chance to be with him. I am just mad, and I feel terrible for that. I can't deal with this very well. I hate this.
2007-11-05 03:17:44 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He may not have wanted anyone there in those 8 weeks to see him as he was then but preferred you remember him as he was before. You should not feel angry that he passed so fast but instead remember the good times that you had before. We are each free to do what we want in life and God gives us that right, but we must also face the results of our choices, in his case the liver problems from the drinking. We will all die in time, you, me, our mother, and everyone else but it is how we live our lives until then that is important, whether we let those we love know that every day, for example.
One way that you can deal with this is to go to memory-of.com and establish a memorial for your uncle where you and the rest of your family can remember him by pictures and reminders of him and you can also I think talk to others about feeling the loss and how to deal with it.
You have my condolences on your loss and I hope the memory-of site helps you to deal with it.
2007-11-05 03:49:38 · answer #1 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for your loss. The best thing I can tell you is that your uncle is not suffering anymore. I know from too many experiences that watching a loved one get sicker and sicker is the hardest thing you could ever experience. The anger that you are feeling is very normal. You just have to remember all of the good times that you and your family had with your uncle. It will be hard to enjoy all of the family events, knowing that he will not be there, but he will always be in your heart. You also have to remember that he wouldn't want you to be so upset. No one could have helped him and chances are he wanted you to remember him and all of the good times, not how he was at the end. Hope this helps.
2007-11-05 04:56:38 · answer #2 · answered by Very Blessed!!! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off. I'm sorry to hear of your loss, it's always hard to deal with one of your first.
One of the biggest moments of regret in my life was not being able to see my Grandfather before he died. The regret lasted for years. I learned a valuable lesson. You can't do anything about when a family member dies, but you can make the most you can out of their life. Live days with your family in a way if they died tomorrow you could say that you were able to enjoy some of your last moments together.
Don't blame yourself for their dying there was nothing you could do. And even if there was beating yourself up about it would do nothing for you. Just remember that life is precious.
2007-11-05 03:23:06 · answer #3 · answered by alwaysmoose 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry on your loss! I had my Grandfather, mom and then Grandmother all die interior some million a million/2 years of one yet another. I even have an theory the way it is going for you. I relied heavily on God. i think of Bubba Smith had great suggestion. additionally, understand there is not any time line on grieving. you're able to allow your self to pass by way of it. i comprehend it hurts, he sounds like he replaced into an incredible guy!!! via fact his Birthday is this time of the year why do no longer you stumble on a manner of giving decrease back in case you're in a position. may be helping out on the close by Homeless shelter or something that should have been significant on your Grandfather. i'm hoping speaking approximately him helped a splash. continuously shop the great memories of him on the element of you. Take care and God bless you! i'm asserting a prayer for you this evening!
2016-11-10 08:30:54 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must know that death comes to eveybody some time or other . i agree that at such age he paased away which occurs suddenly.Youhaving seen a first death .you start very upset.God is not to be blamed.EVERY ON GOES AFTER HIS TIME COMES.
Meet his nearest relations and pity them and console them incl your mother.You can expressyour flings and remember how he used to love you etc
2007-11-05 03:34:11 · answer #5 · answered by Bhahagyam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋